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RPG is:
John Partin: guitar
Mike Marunde: drums
Matt Conner: guitar, vocals
Tony Brown: bass

RW: Every time I see Campbell (bass player for fellow Richmond band, Lamb of God) he's got the RPG flag flying.

Partin: Yeah, he's our street team leader We appointed him head of our street team.

RW: But he's doing it.

Partin: He's not doing shit . . . We suck 'cause Mark and Campbell are cool.

Matt: Yeah, we're not afraid to--anyone whose ever done us major favors--spit in their face.

RW: We're not talking about Lamb of God, we're talking about RPG.

Matt: What do you wanna know?

RW: What should I know?

Partin: Drummer sucks.

Matt: I will guarantee this, I will say one thing about RPG, man, we have more fun-and you can ask Richie—Richie's been on tour with a lots of bands for a really long time, and we have more fun than any band, anywhere, at any time. I guarantee. Ask Richie (merch guy for tour).

Marunde: We do more drugs than any band, anywhere, at any time.

RW: They say they do more drugs than any band, anywhere, at any time.

Matt: Have more fun.

RW: Oh, I'm sorry, my bad, my bad.

Richie: I do more drugs.

Marunde: But we smoke more weed than any stoner band, man, I'll tell you that.

Richie: Any band I've ever been out with, they have more fun.

Partin: But he hates our band.

RW: Really?

Partin: He does.

RW: I can see that.

Partin: Yeah, you can?

RW: No, I don't understand that.

Partin: So what's up man, why'd you break up? (Reagan National Crash Diet)

RW: No, this isn't about us.

Partin: I want to talk about Jen and Carol.

RW: This is not about us, this is about—

Partin: Where they at?

Matt: What else you wanna know, man? Feed me.

Partin: Let's talk about Todd Uzel (Decibators).

RW: You know the RPG, I mean you guys are like—

Partin: Legendary.

(Laughter)

RW: Well. Did you know there was gonna be a war with the RPG—

Partin: He (Marunde) totally called it.

RW: You're a veteran of the first Gulf War, I know that, so you called this one?

Marunde: Surely. I say a lot of shit that people disagree with.

RW: They don't even pay attention to you.

Marunde: But in time I'm always proven right.

Matt: (on the name) Was it necessarily that? I mean it was kinda-it started out as something else then it turned into—

RPG: It was Rocket Propelled Grenade, then it was DMZ. RPG? DMZ? Cool.

RW: Same thing, kinda similar.

Marunde: There was an RPG sign above our practice space that said Richmond Pussy Generators or some crazy shit like that.

RW: Richmond Pussy Generators?

Marunde: That's what the sign said.

Partin: That's what we made it say.

Marunde: Yeah, well. That's where it comes from.

Matt: It was all about football rock in the beginning. We were gonna start A.F.R.O.; American Football Rock Organization.

RW: You were going to be the vanguard of American Football Rock?

Matt: Yeah, we were gonna be all about football and rock and drinking.

RW: What football (incoherent) would you be?

RPG: NFL, man.

RW: Yeah, but what team? I'm gonna get to the Redskins, but--

RPG: The Raiders, The Packers, and the Steelers.

Todd Uzel: Redskins suck!

RW: How 'bout the Bears? Does that enter into-

Partin: Hell no!

Matt: Bears signed Cordell, man.

RW: We made some mistakes.

Richie: I'm talking about the Philadelphia Eagles, I'm talking about the Atlanta Falcons.

Marunde: If the Philadelphia Eagles are so great why can't they win a fuckin' National Championship?

Matt: We'll get into football more when football season rolls around.

Richie: Just watch, man, Philadelphia Eagles number one!

RW: What baseball team are you rootin' for?

Partin: I don't like baseball.

Matt: Richie likes the Braves.

RW: But let's suppose you had a baseball team.

Partin: It would be the Richmond . . . whatever they are, man.

Richie: Richmond's not even a real city, dude.

Matt: But we got a farm team, dude.

Richie: Richmond's not a real city.

RW: Todd would always slag off Richmond, but if you ever diss Richmond.

Matt: It's like your momma. You can talk shit on your momma, but if anybody else talks shit, it's like, what the fuck?

Todd: But Atlanta?

Matt: Naw, I'm cool with Atlanta.

Richie: I'm cool with Richmond too, man.

Todd: How could you not be cool with Richmond?

RW: In Richmond, when you go back, what are you going to do?

RPG: Pussy.

RW: Pussy, that's it?

Partin: That's the main objective.

Matt: Sunday night, man.

RW: You've been faithful to your wife?

Partin: Yes, sir.

Matt: Yes.

RW: She'll be glad to hear that.

Partin: Well, she probably won't ever hear that, but . . .

RW: It's admirable 'cause you probably have groupies.

Partin: Groupies all over the place.

RW: Yeah?

Partin: Everywhere. We'd roll with the pussy, but all of us are good guys. We like to talk to girls but I can't wait 'til Sunday. I just hope I can move by then 'cause my body is breaking down. My knees are gone, dude.

Matt: Yeah, I can barely walk.

RW: You got Cleveland and that's it, right?

Partin: That's it.

Matt: When you think about the beginning of the tour, it was so long ago.

RW: Where'd you guys start out, where was the first place you played?

Matt: Greensboro, North Carolina. Then we went to Atlanta and picked up Richie, and then made our way down south to New Orleans.

RW: Where'd you play in New Orleans?

Matt: The Dixie Tavern. Then we played at South by Southwest.

RW: You guys played in Fort Collins with Booker Noe and who else?

Matt: It was Booker Noe, the Virginia Sisters, and two stand-up comedians. Nobody got shot in front of the club so it was good.

RW: How was that? There's a weird community in Fort Collins, Colorado of like—

Matt: Ex-SoCal punks.

RW: Yeah, it's like, how the hell did they end up there?

RW: Who is the shittiest band of all time? Lets go on the record.

Matt: Whose the shittiest band of all time?

Partin: Reagan National Crash Diet.

(much laughter)

RW: Well, that's a given, that's a given.

Partin: What's that band we played with in Fort Worth, man?

RPG: Cobra Three.

RW: Cobra Three, Shittiest Band in the United States.

Matt: No, no, no, uh, uh, A Million Pounds!

Partin: Yeah, A Million Pounds.

RW: A Million Pounds, The Worst Band in the United States.

Matt: Best band name I've seen on a sticker this tour, Total Intolerance.

RW: But they weren't the worst band?

Matt: Didn't see 'em play. Just saw the sticker. A Million Pounds is the worst fucking band.

RW: And they're from New Orleans?

Matt: No. They're from Fort Worth, Texas.

RW: All right, let the record show, RPG says A Million Pounds suck. They're callin' 'em out.

Matt: It was like a million pounds of pain.

That's it. That's what booze will do to an interview. Be sure to buy RPG's debut full-length, Full Time wherever you can find it. Go to their Web site: www.rpgva.com. Go to their shows. Goodbye.