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Chauncey Proper's Hipster Suds Reviews

I cannot tolerate inferior brews. I demand thee best craft beers.

Pucker Up Right Meow

[Backpocket Brewery]

This Stone Fruit Sour tastes like what would happen if your lemon juice spilled in the crisper and a moldy old grapefruit rolled into it and sat for a month and fermented and then your roommate dared you to drink it.

Budweiser

24 oz. $2.09 + tax [InBev]

Nothing makes me prouder to be an American than sipping on an ice cold Bud. Never mind that the company that makes this sweet American nectar came about from a foul union between Brazilian and Belgian conglomerates. That matters little when my tiny fist is wrapped around the red, white and black can.

When you rename your beer “America” and splash the words "Pluribus Unum" and "Home of the Brave" and some Woody Guthrie lyrics, that must be in the public domain I guess, you produced one fantastically patriotic brew. Liberty and Justice for all and Land of the Free since motherfuckin’ 1976 son.

As any connoisseur of suds knows, Bud is a beer best served cold. Let it warm up to above the forty degrizzle mark and you are in danger or swilling a luke warm backwash-flavored brew with hints of ass. So drink it fast, then crack open another and send your Yankee dollar to Brazil or Belgium or anywhere else but here. God help, America. I mean that. Seriously. Trump is destroying this country.

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