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Who's Your Favorite Rock Star?

The Researched by Joey Germ

Originally published in RW#3, 1994, RW#6, 1995 & RW#9, 1997

We all have our favorite rock stars; singers with whom we identify, feel a certain affinity towards, musicians whose music we turn to in our times of need. They comfort us and give us hope. Who we chose as our role models often tells us a little something about ourselves and what kind of people we are. Who is your favorite rock icon? If it's one of the following, you might find out a little something about yourself that you may or may not have already known.

You are very industrious and hard working and also very appealing to members of the opposite sex. You are a trendsetter, much to your own disdain. You're down to earth and uninhibited. You seem to have overcome your tendency to go publicly shirtless much to the relief of many.

You are rebellious and spirited. You are a hard man/woman to pin down. You are a perfectionist and want people to see only the best you can do. Many people find you annoyingly offensive, yet harmless and insignificant in terms of things that really matter. You have a childlike fixation with death and have recurring dreams and fantasies of your violent, tragic, youthful death in which thousands mourn and attractive young blonds weep uncontrollably at your grave.

You don't like attention but you can't help doing things that draw it to yourself. You strongly dislike the system you find yourself a part of but are forced to play the game anyway. You feel the need to escape from the pressures of your everyday life and sometime choose very foolish ways to do this. You are very talented but are more than willing to throw it all away. If martyrdom is your goes you may very well achieve it.

Being devoid of talent and creativity, you ride on the coattails of others. You would have people believe that you are a sensitive, 90s kind of person but your true macho self shines through often enough to give you away. Enjoy your unearned success, it will be short-lived.

You have always been hungry for attention, but until recently were satisfied being basically unrecognized for your achievements. You have always held a venomous contempt for those who aspire to fame and fortune and having gotten a little taste of success by way of broadened public exposure, you are gaining quite an appetite for it yourself.

You are strong and confident yet sensitive and sometimes reclusive. You are driven to succeed but sometimes embarrassed and withdrawn when your achievements are recognized. You are politically aware and not afraid to stand up for what you believe. Even though you may seem quiet and subdued on the outside, there is a massive ego lurking somewhere beneath the surface that will one day explode.

Your are just a normal, middling, average, every day, run of the mill, genuine, down to earth, nice, ordinary, complacent, boring, nonconfrontational, nice, regular, nice guy. A guy's guy. A golf guy. A golf guy's guy.

Most people find you annoying and unattractive despite your best intentions of appearing talented and alluring. You wonder about your significance on this planet and also find yourself worrying that people might forget you in a couple of--

You are very self-righteous and assertive. You have found that being a woman with power and opinions is often perceived as being vain and pushy. You are not afraid to show your pain or even sell a little bit of it. You have a volatile temperament and a good right hook. You're scary.

You seem to possess an inexplicable charisma that appeals mainly to the lowest common denominator. You feel the need to draw attention to yourself by shocking people with your outrageous style and antics, all the while defending your motives with the excuse that you are holding up a mirror to the society of which you are a product. You're probably just tired and need a map.

You are down to earth, rugged and tough, yet vulnerable. You're still very much a little girl who likes to wear her favorite pair of jammies to bed. You are a hopeless romantic who could burst into tears at any moment, or at least it looks like you could burst into tears at any moment. Let it out. It's ok. You'll feel better.

You're just a girl in this world. You are energetic and enthusiastic and very easily excited. You are spontaneous and don't have time to think too much about heavy stuff. You like boys and relationships and getting flowers and gifts and if you weren't so driven to be the object of everyone's affection you'd probably just settle for the title of Gavin's Girlfriend

You are sexy, good looking, charismatic, intelligent, very successful—if only you had talent, you could justify it all. You put on the personae of being an angry, young man, full of angst and frustration, but that won't pay the bills for too much longer. If you weren't so driven to be the object of everyone's admiration, you'd probably just settle for the title of Gwen's Boyfriend.

Worldly and wise for your years. Jaded and untrusting. You should eat better.




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