Reglar Wiglar
Picking the easy targets since 1993

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UNVERIFIED TRIVIAL FACTS

Originally published in RW #6, 1995

Speculative Trivia is the name of the game here, kids. The answers to the following questions may or may not be valid and certainly wouldn't fly with Trebek—they are merely speculation. We are simply too lazy to verify the answers. Sorry. If you feel like being a righteous purveyor of truth, go for it, but if that's the case, get the hell out of this page!


QUESTION AND ANSWER

1) Q: What was the occupation of the members of the popular grunge rock band Sponge before sucking (ahem) sucking up national exposure?

A: Our sources say that they were most likely Hair Farmers from suburban Detroit.

2) Q: What city was boy genius and talk show hack, Jerry Springer mayor of?

A: Cincinnait, Ohio (It's true, Mr. Springer actually held political office)

3) Q: Why do Punk Rockers hang out at the mall?

A: Because they hate it.

4) Q: Why do burnt out hipsters hang out in Wicker Park?

A: Because they hate it.


TRUE OR FALSE

1) Nobody really gives two shits about Hugh Grant and the majority of the public is patiently waiting for him and his English charm to fade into obscurity.

TRUE. The fact is that the majority of the American public had little or no idea who Grant was until the shocking sex scandal that rocked the tabloids and the American Psyche and coincided with the release of Grant's new movie, The Charming and Funny Englishman Who Went Up a Hill and Came Down with a Prostitute.

2) Courtney Love is an intelligent, albeit opinionated and outspoken spokesperson for her generation. She is a guardian of truth and a campaigner for equality and free speach.

Most people would be quick to check true for this question when indeed the correct answer is FALSE. As if Generation X did not have enough fucking problems, we get Courtney Love as a spokesperson and role model. We're so persecuted. Let's run away, all of us. Wouldn't that fuck 'em up? Then they'd be sorry for calling us Slackers all the time.

3) Jerry Springer once wrote a check to a prostitute in Cincinnati that bounced.

Ha! What an idiot. TRUE, but Jerry is only human and as a figure in the public eye, he should immediately be forgiven such an indescretion. We all make errors in judgement. Jerry should really balance hsi check book better. That is a problem of the past, however. Jerry has learned his lessons and handles as such "business transactions" with cash, as a gentlemen should.

4) Better Than Ezra are the Gin Blossoms of the mid 90s.

TRUE, not even waiting the traditional ten year period to be the __________ of the _______s, Better Than Ezra are the Gin Blossoms of the mid 90s. The only problem is that the Gin Blossoms are also the Gin Blossoms of the mid 90s.

5) Talk shows provide a forum for social and political discourse, one that gives voice to the voiceless and gives equal time to the impoverished lower class, letting the rest of us get a glimpse into their lives and struggles, educating and enlightening everyone.

FALSE.


MULTIPLE CHOICE

1) Rush Limbaugh...

A) Loves himself very much.

B) Love himself more than anything in this whole wide world.

C) Loves the fact that he's a big fat raging egomaniac so fully grounded in his own ignorance that he can rationalize every thought that ever escapes his skull as being completely right and true and worthy of mention on national TV.

2) Alternative music is...

A) Thoughtful, intelligent yet angst ridden music created by an unsatisfied, yet sincere generation of young musicians for their peers.

B) Re-packaged retro garbage.

C) Very popular with the kids these days.

 


©1993-2012 Reglar Wiglar Magazine