ZINES
Reviews by Chris Auman unless otherwise noted

ADVENTURES IN ANNELAND #6
If you've never been to Anneland before (and I hadn't), this zine is a little taste. In broad terms, AA deals with things that Anne either likes or finds annoying. Things that annoy Anne are weightism, people who smoke and guys who expect women to be passive. Also featured are things that rock, things that rool, and things that are hot (Ewan McGregor and Librarians for example). There's also four or five comics drawn by Dan (last name withheld?) that are so crude and absurd that they almost reach guilty pleasure status. Unfortunately, the pleasure part is not quiet there, unless you happen to dig badly drawn pictures of poop and penises (some people do). Price: ? Anne Heathen, POB 255, Mt Pleasant, MI 48804-0255

APPLICANT
"One night while rooting through the recycling bin for magazines, I found all the confidential Ph.D. applicant files for the biology department at an Ivy League University from the years 1965-1975. Stapled to many of the yellowed documents were photographs of the prospective students...only later did I realize I had to publish them." So starts Jesse Reklaw's one-off zine, Applicant. Publish them he did. This zine is nothing but the photos and a few choice quotes taken from what fellow professors and employers had to say about these prospective students. The result is a very interesting, if all too brief time capsule of a decade long gone. Price: $2 ppd. Jesse Reklaw, PO Box 11493, Berkeley, CA 94712-2493. www.slowwave.com

AZMACOURT #7
This is a zine that is no longer about asthma. Auto-biographical snippets and comics as pertaining to, and related by, its author, Mark Parker. Mark reveals things that will no doubt get him in dutch with friends, coworkers and crushes but he seems unaffected by such concerns. Hand printed and drawn without the aid of computers as the intro proudly proclaims. Like many zines of it's digest size, it's too short! Price: (?) Mark Parker, 1012 Townhouse Circle, Norman, OK 73069

AZMACOURT #8
Comics and other autobiographical writings by Mark Parker comprise the bulk of this half-sized zine. Observations and reflections on a variety of subjects from Xanax to veganism. What do these things have in common? They all seem to have a somewhat scatological bent to them. Find out for yourself. Price: "$5 buys a nice assortment" of A.C. and other titles. Mark Parker, 1012 Townhouse Circle, Norman, OK 73069

THE BIG TAKEOVER #53
For twenty years Jack Rabid has been publishing this mammoth music magazine. Forget Rolling Stone and Spin, if you want coverage of real music and not flavors of the month, cookie cutter boy bands, or girly-girl singers, then you gotta lug home one of these 300+ pagers. This issue alone features interviews with Belle & Sebastian, Death Cab for Cutie, John Doe (X) , Circle Jerk's Keith Morris, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, The Shins, Blondie, and over twenty more! Price: $4.95. The Big Takeover, 249 Eldridge St., #14, New York, NY 10002-1345 www.bigtakeover.com

CABOOSE #1
A mini from Liz Saidel of Cul-de-sac notoriety. Liz gets impatient between issues of that bigger zine project so caboose is a little side action to satisfy the self publishing urge. "Breath Right Strips Rock My World," "I Was the Barfer," and "I Had to Go on These Camping Trips with My Family That Totally Blew" are a few of titles and the topics tackled in this short, to the point, and quite humorous zine. Price: $1. lizsaidel@prontomail.com

CABOOSE #2
The Suckass CDs I've Traded Issue As the subtitle so accurately suggests, this issue of the mini caboose is devoted to the CDs that author, Liz, has sold or traded when she's purged her collection of the crappy CDs taking refuge there. It's not just a list, there's also an explan-ation. Let those without crappy CDs in their collection cast the first stone. Price: $1 Liz Saidel. POB 476802, Chicago, IL 60647

CABOOSE #3
The Modular Karaoke Issue This is the karaoke issue of Caboose and as such, concerns itself with the phenomenon (for some) of the karaoke experience (I'll stop short of calling it a lifestyle). This issue is basically a discussion or group interview of, and between, five karaoke enthusiasts who in the course of their conversation about their karaoke passion, touch upon such karaoke topics as karaoke etiquette (never do "American Pie" or "Paradise by the Dashboard Lights"), karaoke style, regional variations of karaoke and their own personal karaoke standards. This is a good read whether your a karaoke veteran or if you're thinking about delving into that world for the first time. It's funny too. So is using the word karaoke a lot in one review. I think so. Price: $1 Liz Saidel, POB 476802, Chicago, IL 60647

CABOOSE #4
The Ridiculous Issue Another delightful issue of Liz's Caboose mini-zine. This is the "Ridiculous Issue" and it's about time. Included in this issue is a treatise on Liz's experience working at a Renaissance Fair ("Ye Renaissance Faire"), a list of people Liz idolized in high school (Rollins, Ian MacKaye, etc.), and a "College Radio DJ Mad Lib" which you can find a reprint of on page ten of this very zine. Aren't you lucky? Price: $2 ppd. Liz Mason, PO Box 476802, Chicago, IL 60647

CASH FLAGG #2
This is basically a movie review zine written by, confessed Dungeons & Dragon/horror film geek, Brian Marshall. These are low-brow reviews of low-brow movies I haven't seen, but I think I would probably agree with the Hollywood-as-crap theme that runs through the reviews. I did, however, rent Cabin Fever based on Brian's positive review and all I gotta say is, meh, not so good. Brian also brings up an interesting point of shitty minds thinking alike with Fred "Limp Bizkit" Durst's cover of The Who's "Behind Blue Eyes" at the end of the rather mediocre Gothika. Certainly that version of the song is offensive, but equally so, as Brian points out, are Uncle Cracker's cover of "American Woman" and Kid's Rock's "Feel Like Making Love." These are truly two of the worst songs ever recorded. Not enough people are talking about how much Kid Rock sucks. Why are people afraid to talk about this? Price: $? Brian Marshall, 258 Main St., #3, Danbury, CT 06810 cashflagg13@hotmail.com

CHORD EASY, 2nd Edition
Chord Easy is a small, photocopied, saddle-stitched digest. The publication comes in a full and short version. I have only seen the short version. Densely packed with type, even this short work can be an intimidating read. However, it is well worth the effort for its straightforward explanation of the music theory essential for anyone striving to get a working knowledge of chord fundamentals. While the aim seems to be for guitar, of all the articles and book passages I have taken in, this is the first time I was able to grasp the 4-3-5 and 3-4-5 rules for major chords versus minor ones. Price: $1. Light Living Library, PO Box 190-CE, Philomath, OR 97370 (Tom "Tearaway" Schulte)

COMETBUS #47
I must confess that I am very late in jumping on the Cometbus bandwagon, if such a thing exists. Reason: I was a little intimidated by the handwritten style of the thing. It's very legible but not conducive to train or bus ride reading--to reading in general--or so I thought, but once I took the plunge I read the ninety pages pretty much straight through. For those who are in the dark as I once was, Cometbus is a collection of personal writings by Aaron Cometbus. Reflections on his youth, Berkeley, and the ghosts of punk rock past or in this particular case his girlfriend at the time, Lanky. Aaron is a great writer and I hope someday there is an anthology of his personal writings (if such a thing doesn't already exist). Price: $2.50 PPD. BBT P.O. Box 4279, Berkeley, CA 94704

COMETBUS #48
This is an interview issue, a format that Aaron returns to from time to time. The theme: Back to Landers, a hippie movement of the late 60s and early 70s in which the flower children, partly in fear of the coming revolution and the resulting apocalypse, and partly to grow weed, fled to the hills of Northern California with their young families in tow. Part I is interviews with the adult children of these Back to Land families. Part II is the parent's point-of-view, which I found to be the most revealing and consequently the most interesting. Part III is interviews with young people who are currently experiencing the urge to get back to the land. I had no idea, now I have an idea. Price: $2.50 PPD. BBT P.O. Box 4279, Berkeley, CA 94704

CHUNKLET #15
This zine seems to be published pretty erratically. Some highlights would be the "Asshole Top 100" featuring the biggest a-holes in rock (as submitted by readers) as well as the interviews with Mr. Show's David Cross and John Reiss (Rocket from the Crypt, Hot Snakes, etc). There's a ton of other shit packed into this big chunklet of a zine that make it worth six bucks. Price: $6 PPD. POB 2814-0814. Atlanta GA 30612

DAY OF RECKONING
I'm not really sure what's going on with this collage of literary snippets and stream of conscious scribbling but if the zine isn't odd enough, it also comes with an equally bizarre CD-R with an assortment of found sounds, at least one of which is from a squirrel. This zine was mostly done on a real life typewriter which adds to the chaos of the layout. Add to that a general lack of cohesion and you have a zine that's sort of hard to follow. But it's an interesting mess for sure. Price: $2 ppd. David Rebat Wreck, c/o Amanda Jones, 922 Belvin St., San Marcos, TX 78666

DUNK & PISS #11
This issue of Dunk & Piss deals with Alex's unintentional bomb scare. You see Alex dropped off a bunch of slightly damaged zines at a Wegman's Supermarket in Rochester, NY where he lives. The zines were wrapped in brown paper which had the words "open me" written on the outside, you follow? Well, in these security sensitive, paranoid times, that very pub lic invitation to open a mysterious brown package caused the evacuation of the entire store, an event that made the six o'clock news. Then his troubles really began, but if you want to know more you're going to ask Alex. Send him a buck for the full scoop. Price: $1.00 PPD, Alex, 11 Alger Dr. Rochester, NY 14624

THE EAST VILLAGE INKY #20
Prolific writer, activist, and mother, Ayun Halliday and her entire mommy posse of children captivate the world once again! Website highlight: full color photo gallery of characters in zine.ÊStrange thing about activism is itÊoften is fueled by a love for one's children and all children.ÊThe smile on a child's face reminds people, more than anything else, that all people deserve freedom from corporate exploitation, freedom to experience kindness, and the freedom to know love. Price: $2. PO Box 22754, Brooklyn, NY 11202-2754. inky@erols.comÊ www.ayunhalliday.com (T.v.L.i.m.i.t.BNB)

1544 WEST GRACE #19
It's been awhile since I've seen a copy of1544. This is a zine about an apartment building, as its tag line proclaims and that apartment is located at 1544 West Grace, as you may have guessed. (You're so smart!) The zine's creator, Larry Roth, is a tenant in the aforementioned 1544 W. Grace building and is responsible for this seemingly mundane but surprisingly interesting zine. This is the War and Peace issue and as such, it documents the proliferation of American flags throughout the neighborhood and includes essay dedicated to New Yorkers ("We All Live in New York City") and of course, those familiar with this zine won't be disappointed by the usual fare off-the-wall tidbits like the page of photocopied of advertisements found on plastic grocery store bags, as well as an itemized list by color of the 343 bags Larry managed to accumulate (248 were white but only one green bag!) Price: $2. Larry I. Roth 1544 W. Grace, Chicago, IL 60613-2702

1544 WEST GRACE #20
Larry Roth and 1544 W. Grace are back with another issue of the zine about nothing (that's not an insult, in fact, it was the theme of one of the most successful sitcoms of all-time). For the uninitiated, this zine is about a two flat building (located at the address in the zine's title), its tenants, and the surrounding neighborhood. This issue is comprised mostly of Larry's answering of a backlog of reader mail. There's also a log of misdirected mail received at 1544, an update on the new and recent tenants of 1544, and some other small pieces that may be of interest, or possibly no interest, to you. I find this zine interesting in its potential noninterestingness. Price: $2. Larry I. Roth 1544 W. Grace, Chicago, IL 60613-2702

FOR THE CLERISY #54
The zine for people who love to read is back with the fifty-fourth issue. Features the usual barrage of book reviews and answers to reader queries, also features photos of famous glasses wearers (or is that wearers of glasses?). If you've never read a book, or don't know what a book is, or can't even spell book, this is not the zine for you, but then again, you probably wouldn't be reading this review if you were one of those people. Price: $1 or trade? PO Box 404, Getzville, NY 14068-0404

HORIZONTAL ACTION #12
If you like sleazy, ugly zines about sex and rock 'n' roll, then you're probably gonna love Horizontal Action 'cause H.A. is thee flagwaver for the local and national garage rock scene. I would also be willing to bet a chained wallet that the people who put out this zine are unwashed heathens which would certainly lend a certain legitimacy to it. There are plenty of band interviews, and badly produced photos of naked "ladies" in each issue. The record reviews are pretty crude, occasionally funny, and on a very rare occasion, clever. This issue even features a haiku record review. Now where have I seen haiku record reviews before? Hmmm... Price: $3. 1433 N. Wicker Park Ave., Chicago, IL 60622. horizontalaction.com

LEEKING INC. #20
Zine Highlights: Good content as always. This was the third zine I ever got a subscription to. I know this may sound nerdy, but I love the construction of this zine.ÊSmooth dips and curves cut into the tan cover which allow the lavender page beneath it to peek out from beneath before meticulously enumerated white pages emerge.ÊReminds me of the craftsmanship that Quakers and Amish put into furniture.ÊSimple, yet done well.ÊSmooooth.ÊWeb site highlight:ÊWeb site is brand new and colorful but what I like most is, it has an exhaustive index (by title and by author's name) of all the zines reviewed within the last several years by a certain review zine (guess which one?). Nice!ÊI just find it cool looking through the zine community history.ÊI hope some of the ad-supported, larger budget, ISBN (maga)zines that review zines do an index like this to help archive, support, and most of all, promote the underground community someday! Do ya' hear me glossy folks?!ÊYeah you!Ê(happy laughter). Price: $2. Davida Gypsy Breier, PO Box 963, Havre de Grace, MD 21078. www.leekinginc.com (T.v.L.i.m.i.t.BNB)Ê

MAXIMUM ROCKNROLL #213
Thee punk rock bible for some, a source of irritating, punker-than-thou, self-righteous soap boxing for others, this loooong running Bay Area mega-zine has been consistently covering underground bands and artists that most publications (yes, even independent ones) wouldn't dare touch. The look of MRR has improved recently; it's cleaner and has less ink rub-offage than before. Even if you lost touch with the punk rock scene a decade ago, the letters section alone makes this worth the cover price which is ridiculously low to start with. Issue #213 features, in addition to the many pages of columns: leftist political news; a history of Finnish hardcore; Canadian record label, Ugly Pop; interviews with photographer, Joshua Peach, Midnight Evils, and the Zodiac Killers. Zine, book, record reviews and ads comprise the bulk of the rest of this fat mother. Price: $3. POB 460760, San Francisco, CA 94146. maximumrnr@mindspring.com

MK ULTRA SEP/OCT '02
MK Ultra, with a cover price of $4, plumbs the depths of Goth fashion with an approach like that of a men's magazine. There is a cover girl (Tairrie B of My Ruin), large breasted centerfold and a video offering: Goth Girls Gone Wild! The professionally produced 55 page magazine boasts an impressive array of interviews: Garbage, KMFDM, Nashville Pussy, Motorhead, Cradle of Filth, Daniel Ash and more. The typical sections of news and reviews are included as well as a sex advice column from "Lady Monster, Certified Sex Therapist." Packed with information and visuals, this is a good read. www.mkultramag.com (Tom "Tearaway" Schulte)

MY FAT IRISH ASS #-3
The Official Magazine of Absolutely Nothing This zine is sub-sub-titled "Tom Paigne, The Biggest Piece of Shit I Know." This issue serves to act as a sort of intervention in the destructive behavior of Tom Paigne who apparrently is one gigantic loser. Some of Tom's traits are detailed here and they sound none to appealing. If he is being portrayed accurately, he's got some issues and the author seems to genuinely want to get his friend on the wagon and off the fast track to imminent ruin. While the subject matter is handled in a funny way, it's also kinda sad and I'm rooting for Tom to get his shit together. Price: $1ppd(?) PO Box 65391, Washington DC, 20035

MY FAT IRISH ASS #-4
Crude drawings and even cruder humor (no wait, that's not possible) make MFIA a guilty pleasure of a read. "Tales of the Scorched Scrotum Society," (in which the author prefaces with the acknowledgment that this is "one of the stupidest, most childish things that I've ever done"), "Famine Cervix" (the artist takes liberties with the adorable Family Circus comic, adding his own caption with sometimes humorous results). Not for those who profess to posses good taste. Price: $1ppd(?) PO Box 65391, Washington DC, 20035

MY FAT IRISH ASS #(-)5
It's taken about a year and a half for the author of MFIA to slap together another issue of his crude and entertaining zine. This issue contains zine reviews including props to the zine you are holding in your hands right now (if you are reading this on-line disregard that last sentence 'cause it wouldn't make sense). And if you ever find yourself facing a shortage of Family Circus or Dennis the Menace cartoons altered to contain drug and sex references, then MFIA can help you out with that too. Price: $2 ppd(?) PO Box 65391, Washington DC, 20035. omellain@starpower.net

PICK YOUR POISON #4
Shitty job issues are always enjoyable. Everybody's had 'em (some of us still do) and I always like readin' about 'em. Pick Your Poison is no exception. Whether it's a gig at a gas station or just a temporary stint as a temp, we've all suffered the same work day drudgery (except for rich people) and we all smoke a lot of shitty, seedy weed like Nate too, right? Right? Price: $1 ppd. Nate Gangelhoff, PO Box 8995, Minn-eapolis, MN 55408. www.pickyourpoison.net

POLKA SCENE 'ZINE #24
This issue of PSZ is a collection of "The Detective Kowolski Files" by Li'l Robbie a.k.a. Robert E. Alletto. Written in the vein of Dashiell Hammett Li'l Robbie's hardboiled detective is a Chicago cop of the Polish persuasion and the cases Detective K. solves primarily concern (yep, you guessed it) polka. With titles like "The Kishka Conspiracy," "The Silence of the Tuba," and "Danuta's Got a Gun," if you like polka and detective stories, this is the issue of Polka Scene Zine you're gonna wanna get. This came out in 2002 so there's probably been twenty-four more issues since then! Price: $? PSZ, PO Box 803664, Chicago, IL 60680. thepolkaholics.com

POLKA SCENE 'ZINE #27
This issue of the PSZ features a short piece on polka band The Naturals as well as the usual "Polka Dope" column and a four page spread of photos from various Polkaholics shows around the polka town of Chicago, Illinois. Polka, baby! Price: $? PSZ, PO Box 803664, Chicago, IL 60680. thepolkaholics.com

PORTLAND FREESKOOL
This is a little two page zine.ÊOne page zinesÊhave the potential to be so awesome because it shows that someone, somewhere stopped making excuses and just said, "Ay, we're gonna' do this thing!"ÊFreeskool is open to everyone who wants to organize or attend a free class.ÊIf making necklaces is your skill, you could put a free description in this zine of where your free-of-charge class would be in the Portland area and teach people. "Freeskool is about encouraging positive social change by creating networks based on mutual aid and understanding."ÊThe idea of a zine promoting such a revolution in free education is spreading all over the world and hopefully it will grow as an alternative to the traditional "insurmountable loan + college + four years of no experience=now what?"ÊLong live Freeskool! Web site highlight:Êa monthly list of their free classes in the Portland, Oregon area as published in their zine.Ê Price: Free. No address given. portlandfreeskool@riseup.net www.portland.freeskool.org (T.v.L.i.m.i.t.BNB)

PROPER GANDER #23
Anti-Comics & Stories

This is a tabloid-sized newsprint publication of anti-comics and stories straight outa' Texas. This issue (which is probably long gone off the streets by the time you read this) features comics by the likes of Patrick Welsch, Hans Rickheit, and Stepan Chapman, as well as record and zine reviews and an absurdist short story by Jeff Chan titled, "Night of the Living Dead X." It's free where you can find it or if you can't find it shoot a dollar off to Texas. Price: $1 PPD. POB 434, San Marcos, TX 78667. propergander@sanmarcos.net

PROPER GANDER #31
Anti-Comics & Stories
Bimonthly newsprint tabloid that you may have seen lying around the free-for-all pile at your local zine/ comic store. Usually contains a good mix of zine and music reviews, short fiction, and lots and lots of cool and bizarre comics, most of which make you go "hmmm." Price: $1 PPD. PO Box 434, San Marcos, TX 78667

PUNK PLANET #41
Thee punk rock bible for some, a source of irritating, intellectual, politically righteous whining for others, this zine just keeps getting bigger and quite possibly better. I still skip most of the columns and most to all the record reviews but there are usually several articles of interest in every issue making the $3.50 purchase price a pittance to pay for a magazine of such girth, and I have no sympathy for sniveling little snits who would bitch otherwise. The lure of this particular issue, for those who care at all about the history of punk rock, is a reprint of two chapters from the book Dance of Days by Mark Anderson and Mark Jenkins, chronicling the rise and...well the rise, of the DC punk scene as we know it today. Price: $3.95. POB 464, Chicago, IL 60690 www.punkplanet.com

A READERS GUIDE TO THE UNDERGROUND PRESS #14
It looks like the rumors are true, Factsheet Five will rise again but let's not forget who stepped in to fill those giant shoes in the interim, ARGttUP that's who. Not only does this clean-looking, well-organized (in format anyway, maybe not at their office) zine provide honest, straightforward reviews on the efforts of the underground press, they also print news from around the country reporting on violations of our First Amendment rights especially as pertaining to people who publish zines (the powerless as it were). So, even though FS5 is back, don't forget who had your back, you freaks! Price: $4 PPD. PMB 2836, 537 Jones St, San Francisco, CA 94102 www.undergroundpress.org Ê

A READERS GUIDE TO THE UNDERGROUND PRESS #17
You probably won't find this in any zine shops. This is basically a mail order only publication for fellow zinesters. It's a review zine that gives it to you straight. For example, they had they had this to say about Reglar Wiglar #16: "too much puffery about the indie music biz" and further expounded on the overall worth: "Disinterested and flat, the fizz is out of this formula." Let me tell you somethin' there never was anything like a fizz in the Wiglar formula. But don't let one wrong opinion steer you away from this quality zine. Price: $4ppd. POB 330156 Murfreesboro, TN 37133-0156 (CA)

ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE #907
I just got back from the grocery store. The lady behind me in line, two kids in tow, had fifteen bags of Cheetos, a ten pack of Kit Kats, a bag of Pop Rocks (I thought those were out-lawed in '81!), a couple of Blow Pops and produce (about five pounds each of: yellow onions, tomatoes, and bana-nas) on the conveyer belt. The woman behind her was also buying onions-more onions than I could find practical use for in two years. Peculiar. What was I buying? A couple of pizzas, a twelve-pack of beer (Rolling Rock) and, an impulse buy; the new Rolling Stone Magazine (the one with Keith Richards on the cover). Now, to the subject at hand, namely, records. Rolling Stone #907 features a nice, long, in-depth interview with the always inspirational Keef, puffery on Ryan Adams, "The Sex Pistols' Revenge" (they played a punkfest put together by Blockbuster and Levi's), Beck, and all the CDs, books, DVDs, and movies I gotta go out and "experience" NOW (!). But the main attraction was their list of the "Top 100 CDs of," I guess what they mean is, "All Time." Like, did you know that Weezer's new one, Maladroit (#91) is better than both Jimi Hendrix's Electric Ladyland (#98) and Stevie Wonder's Songs in the Key of Life (#96)? I haven't heard Weezer yet, so I didn't know 'til just now. If you dig metal, be sure you pick up Toxicity (#72) by System of a Down before you waste your money on Metallica's Master of Puppets (#88). But if you've already got both of those, you should be aware that Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory (#58) is a little better than Sab's Paranoid (#59), which is better than AC/DC's Back in Black (#60). But hooray for Reglar Wiglar buddies The White Strokes whose very first album is number #57! Yippee. If the Strokes were a metal band, that would make Is This Mayonnaise the third best heavy metal album of all time, with only Metallica (#42, one ahead of Rumors, and twelve up on Dave Matthews' Crash), Appetite for Destruction (#7), and Tool's Aenema (#27). As far as rap goes, only Eminem makes the chart (#24 & 37). Best punk albums? Well, is Nirvana punk? If they are, or ever were, Nevermind is #2 and In Utero is #22 and Unplugged in New York at #55. Nevertheless, we've got the Sex Pistols at #74, Green Day at #38, and the Clash at #14. But there's more! Didju know that Mariah Carry's album Daydream (#69) sold ten million copies? No wonder it's better than Marvin Gaye's most popular album, What's Going On? (#74), which has still only sold 500,000, even though it's been out for twenty-four more years! But how does one rationalize Highway 61 Revisited (#48, one million) over Music by Madonna (#52) which sold twice as many copies in .0285714 the number of years? Wait a minute! I just realized, this whole list is a fucking SHAM! Weezer's album called Weezer is #21. Weezer had TWO albums called Weezer! And Rolling Stone counted votes for both of them as for one! That must be why Apocalyptic Converter by Weedbrain isn't listed at #83.--Andre Salmon

SECOND HAND ROSE #1
As the subtitle of this Australian zine suggests, SHR is a "zine for op shop aficionados and general junk collectors" and as such, it pertains to those of you who refuse to pay a lot for that muffler (that's funny if you remember that old muffler commercial, but never mind). Other features include a short history of the Pelaco garment company and the answer to "Why Do Men's Shirts Button on the Right and Women's on the Left?" Good question and now I know the answer. Price: $3 ppd. (you might want to e-mail to find out price in U.S. currency) PO Box 1738, Collingwood, VIC 3066, Australia. secondhandrose@graffiti.net S

LUG & LETTUCE #78
Da... Friggin?... BEST!!!ÊChris, publisher of S&L, is a pioneer in the zine community.ÊNot just by keeping it real, but by the fact that she and the S&L contributors have produced such an incredible zine for so long!ÊI love the way she often mentions current oppressive politics even if she is writing a heart-to-heart editorial about dragons and taking a mental time-out as she did in this issue.ÊI think S&L is so excellent though because of three things:Ê1) It is a punk community of people who truly love the underground zine scene bringing together S&L with awesome activist articles, music, and zine reviews from all over the world.ÊThis issue has reviews of zines from many U.S. states, Australia, Brazil, Canada, France, Netherlands, Serbia, and more! 2)ÊChris's emotionally deep editorials, live action band photographs and... 3) This thing is still only the price of postage!ÊDoes it get any better?ÊNot!!ÊGet this zine! Price: 60¢ stamp, USA; $1, Canada/Mexico; $2 overseas. Slug & Lettuce, PO Box 26632, Asheville, NC 28802 (T.v.L.i.m.i.t.BNB)

SUCK A LEMON, KISS A TURD
A small book of humorous poetry. Kind of reminds me of Soggy Sprinkles a bit. Below is just one example of the type of poetry you'll find in Suck a Lemon: Fable Writer Aesop? Fable writer? Sorry, I don't handle short stories, Let alone ones written by an old Greek with a moral attitude. No money in it. See me when you have a novel. Price: $5 ppd. D.S. Irwin, 623 N. Borders, Apt 2, Marissa, IL 62257 (C.A.)

THE URBAN HERMITT #12
The Hermitt returns with more tales of greyhound buses, toxic, mind-altering car fumes, crusty queer love and Eugene, Oregon, all delivered with that hip-hoppin' flava' and handwritten style you've come to expect from Sarah O. Price: $2 "plus some stamps." 1122 E Pike #910, Seattle, WA 98122

THE URBAN HERMITT #14
The Hermitt returns to Hawaii, or at least the theme of issue #14 returns to Hawaii with more from Sarah and her futile escape from Amerika, Land of Strip Malls. Hippies, big trucks and sugar cane on the hip hop tip. Price: $2 "plus some stamps." 1122 E Pike #910, Seattle, WA 98122

THE WHIZZBANGER GUIDE TO ZINE DISTRIBUTORS #6
This invaluable resource is an encyclopedia of zine distributors categorized by country. Similarly organized is a related section on "Libraries, Archives, Info-Shops, etc." Zine stores and other, miscellaneous resources are similarly grouped. A growing section lists reviewers that Shannon finds to be dependable. A Bulletin Board section acts as a listing of free classifieds. While Shannon does not review zines per se, there is a two page spread on Shannon's zine picks for 2001. Shannon is a poet, and the editor's poetry comes toward the back of this annual publication. Whizzbanger Productions, Shannon Colebank, POB 5591, Portland, OR 97228 (Tom "Tearaway" Schulte)

XEROX DEBT #6
A brief introduction by Editor & Publisher, Davida, some do's and don'ts for zine publishers concerning privacy & safety, some "Basic Stuff You Should Know," some announcements and then nuthin' but zine review after zine review, some short and concise, others longer and concise. Throw in a list of places to get zines at the end and what you have is an informative, useful little zine guide. Price: $2ppd. Davida Gypsy Breier, PO Box 963, Havre de Grace, MD 21078 www.linkinginc.com

YOU IDIOT #1 & #2
Pot smoking seems to be a common theme in You Idiot. Some of the observations on the Drug War are right on and should be obvious, I think, to anyone with at least one undamaged brain cell. The "Dollar Store Reviews" are entertaining enough. A slightly cynical zine from a twenty-something zinester, a natural fit. Other topics covered, "Crazy Preachers Who Burn Journey Albums," "The Sorry Saga of Nick Carter," and the "Rock Solid Science of Cat Astrology." Price: $1 ppd. Nate Gangelhoff, PO Box 8995, Minneapolis, MN 55408. www.pickyourpoison.net

ZEEN #16
The format of this ever-changing zine keeps ever changing but the attitude remains the same. This issue, aesthetically at least, is the best one yet. It is the size of a 7" record that fits snugly into a 7" record sleeve AND it comes with a 7" record (a split between Wormwood and Crepuscule on clear vinyl). Also included is an interview with Crepuscule, a brief interview with God Speed You Black Emperor, record reviews, and the usual well-directed venom against the musical establishment and mediocrity in general. Price: $5 PPD. POB 32274 KC, MO 64171. www.grapevine.net/~zeen

ZINE GUIDE #6
Zine highlight:ÊLots of reviews.ÊI like their "Top 250 Zines" list.ÊIt is determined by compiling reader and writer responses to Zine Guide's "what are your three favorite zines?" survey. (No, the zines I work on did not make the list, [happy laughter]Êbut I still like it).ÊI love to see so many people involved in independent publishing.ÊIt blows my mind that as much as I love zines I haven't even heard of all the people who are on the top thirty.ÊSo many zines, so much to look forward to!Ê Price: $795, USA; $10.50, Canada/Mexico; $13.25, overseas. PO Box 5467, Evanston IL 60204 zineguide@attbi.com, www.zineguide.net (T.v.L.i.m.i.t.BNB)

COMICS
Reviews by Chris Auman unless othewise noted

BABY BIRD COMICS #6
Funny story, I ran into Baby Bird creator Mike Hollingsworth in San Francisco this past February at the Alternative Press Expo. I had just dropped off an armful of Reglar Wiglars at the free table at the same time he happened to be perusing the freebies. So that's the story of how I met Baby Bird creator Mike Hollingsworth. OK, maybe it's not a funny story but small frickin' world ain't it? Anyway, that's when he laid this Baby Bird comic on me. It features some longer Baby Bird strips than I had previously seen. If you doubt the quality of Baby Bird Comics, peep page eighty for a bird's eye view. www.babybirdcomics.com

BULLETINS FROM SERBIA
e-mails and cartoon strips from the front line Buy This Book This reads like a diary because it is unclear who the initial audience is, but it is actually e-mails sent from Serbia during the NATO bombing in early 1999. The author of these bulletins is Serbian comic artist, Aleksandar Zograf a.k.a. Sasa. We get bits of information and perspective from Sasa on NATO activities and the effects, both mental and psychological, that the bombings had on the Yugoslavian population. My only complaint is that it's light on comics, but as Sasa admits in his letters, it's pretty had to concentrate on drawing comics in such a chaotic and unstable environment. Bulletins is an interesting documentation of the first war (or conflict if you prefer) that was lived vicariously through the Internet by people on the outside. Although access to the news was sometimes shut down for days at a time, it was never totally shut down and communication was never completely severed. Much to the annoyance of the governments who waged war I'm sure. A good document of a piece of recent history that most Americans, no doubt, have already forgotten. Slab-O-Concrete Publications, PO Box 148, Hove BN3 3DQ, UK

COMMON ECTOIDS OF ARIZONA
More of what we've come to expect from the strange, fertile mind of Stepan Chapman. Common Ectoids of Arizona is a handy reference book for aspiring naturalists of the Unseen Universe which is populated by creatures that may or may not actually, physically exist. While not much is known about their origins, Ectoids are "thought to be visible expressions of fractal turbulence in the noosphere." As such, they are not visible to the naked eye but are more likely to be spotted lurking in the subconscious mind of the dreamer. Ocatilloids, Ephemeroids, Anthroform Phantoms and of course Sploogs are common ectoids you're likely to catch a glimpse of if you don't look too hard, or if you buy this very handy field guide. Price: $1ppd. Stepan Chapman, Lockout Press/ Four-Sep Publications, PO Box 12434, Milwaukee, WI 53212.

DREAMTOONS
Dreamtoons is a collection of Jesse Reklaw's comic strip Slow Wave. The gist of the strip is this: Jesse draws your dreams in comic strip format. Of course anything to do with dreams, dreamers and dreaming is bound to be a surreal experience and the comic strip format is no exception. These are quick, four paneled synopses that are impossibly to the point (if you've ever had a friend tell you their dream you know what I mean). Having no first-hand knowledge of the dreamer: personality, age, sexual orientation, gender (even what they ate for dinner that particular night), there's no real chance for interpretation which is a boon or a bane depending on your proclivity to such things. This makes good bedtime reading, you know, to get you in the mood for a good snooze, and in this case that should be considered a compliment. Shambhala Publications, Inc., Horticultural Hall, 300 Massachusetts, Boston, MA 02115 www.slowwave.com

HAW!
Horrible, Horrible Cartoons
Horrible horrible is absolutely correct but Ivan Brunetti's comic world, like taboo subjects in our society as a whole, is fascinating and hard to turn away from. Pedophilia, murder, drug addiction, rape-you think these subjects aren't humorous? Well, you're normal and you're probably right but you also haven't stumbled across Brunetti's comics. Cathartic perhaps for their creator, a guilty pleasure for the reader, Ivan the Terrible's Haw cartoons contain the absurdity of Sam Henderson's Magic Whistle while pushing the envelope well past Kaz's Underworld. Spend five minutes in Ivan's cruel shoes and see what you think. Price: $8.95. Fantagraphics, 7563 Lake City Way NE, Seattle, WA 98115

HEY KIDZ, IT'S POOPIN' TIME WITH THE BIG OL' BEAR
Wow, not really sure what to say about this comic. The badly drawn Big Ol' Bear character is teaching the kids of America how to poop with the unsolicited help of his mouse/rat pal Squeaky. To make a short story shorter, Big Ol' Bear eats Squeaky who then passes very quickly through Big Ol' Bear's entire digestive system and is expelled into the commode still alive and perfectly whole (only he is now covered in fecal matter). Lesson learned, Big Ol' Bear. Lesson learned. Price: $? Matthew Teardrop, 7000 Rhoden Ct. #T4, Springfield, VA 22151

LIFE ON EARTH
by Stepan Chapman (For-Sep Press)
More weirdness from Stepan Chapman. This time in the form of a chap book about life as a metaphor for life. Like a slightly odd childrens' book for adults, Life on Earth, is basically an illustrated poem that has life on Earth trying to deal with its lot in life as life on Earth. Confused? You won't be after you read Life on Earth by Stepan Chapman! Price: $5 ppd. Four-Sep Publications PO Box 86 Friendship, IN 47021 www.four-sep.com

THE MAGIC WHISTLE #6
This issue won't disappoint those accustomed to Sam's brand of absurd and hilarious cartooning. It is my theory that this is the kind of drawing most cartoonists secretly want to do but don't allow them selves to publish. That's just a theory and it's open for debate. Price: $2.95. Alternative Comics, 503 NW 37th Ave, Gainesville, FL 32609-2204

THE SAGA OF THE BABY
From the creator of It's Poopin' Time with Big Ol' Bear (see review above), The Saga of the Baby is another strange, crude comic chronicling the life of a grown man who happens to be wearing a diaper and is in fact, for all intents and purposes, a baby: a criminal, alcoholic, half-naked, fully grown, adult baby. Why? Why not. Price: $? Matthew Teardrop, 7000 Rhoden Ct. #T4, Springfield, VA 22151

THE SKETCHBOOK DIARIES
This is a collection of about a year's worth of four panel comics that serve as a diary of the life of cartoonist James Kochalka. It's complete with all of the mundane observations, daily insecurities, and small joys of day-to-day existence. Much like life itself this comic has you feeling happy one minute and depressed the next without any real good reasons as to why. Top Shelf Productions, P.O. Box 1282, Mariette, GA 30061-1282 www.topshelfcomix.com

THERE ARE NO BEARS IN NEW MEXICO
The story of two train hopping punks who miss their stop in Colorado and end up in Raton, New Mexico. The interesting twist is it appears that the story was written for children. It's even formatted as a children's book with Josh's artwork taking up most of the page, making the drawings as important as the story line. It even reads as though it was meant to be read aloud, quite possibly after milk and cookies and pre-nap time. Bedtime stories for punk kids? Price: $2ppd(?) Ten Eleven Press c/o Josh Redd, 1826 Virnankay, Ann Arbor, MI 48103

THREE CAR PILE UP #1 & #2
The folks behind 3 Car Pile Up keep the self produced comic tradition alive with these two full-sized B&W issues. The art and the storylines are stark comics for Generation Y. I'm an X myself. "Koala's Incredible Adventure" by Lucas Rager, "Bulimic Consumer" by Dan Custer, "The Harvest" by Brian Koshak and Matt Bors' "Idiot Box" strip are highlights. Price: $2 ppd(?) No address given. www.matbors.com

BOOKS
Reviews by Chris Auman (unless otherwise noted).

ALL MUSIC GUIDE TO COUNTRY, 2ND ED.
(Backbeat Books)
With country music and its manifestations reaching ever deeper into the world's cultural psyche, All Music offers an in-depth encyclopedic guide to the massive genre. The book covers the extended bluegrass scene given greater popularity by O Brother Where Art Thou?, with entries from the close harmony traditionalists, Osborne Brothers, to such progressives as Darrell Scott. Doc Watson gets four pages and the FM country scene from Dwight Yoakam to popular western swing revivalists, Asleep at the Wheel, is here. The alt-country scene is present, too, covered from Bloodshot recording artist Robbie Fulks to the popular Old 97's. The entries are in the expected form for these successful All Music 'cyclopedias. That is, biographies and then key reviews with recommended starting points. This makes for over 10,000 rated reviews. The well-indexed tome includes style descriptions, a section for compilations and sound-tracks, essential albums by genre and two dozen rich essays on aspects of country music, like "Country on Film" and "Country Soundtracks." This is a valuable resource for the serious fan of any part of the varied country music spectrum. Where else would you find that The Residents, Savoy Brown, and Elvis Costello all drew on the early 70s countrified British pub rock group Chili Willi & the Red Hot Peppers for members? www.backbeatbooks.com(Tom "Tearaway" Schulte)

BORN TO ROCK
Heavy Drinkers and Thinkers: A Collection of Interviews and Essays by Todd Taylor
(Gorsky Press)

Interviews and essays, but mostly interviews, and not necessarily insightful interviews, but typical fanzine fare. I much preferred the introductory essay on why and how Todd got into punk rock as I never tiring of such cherry poppin' stories. Todd's story seems unique in that he came to punk rock via a car crash and the Boy Scouts of America. I would like to read more about Todd's time at the late Flipside magazine and his subsequent fallout with its owner and creator Al Flipside. Maybe that is in the works. At any rate, as far as interviews go, we got Toys the Kill, Fletcher from Pennywise, Duane Peters from US Bombs, NOFX, Strike Against and more! Gorsky Press, PO Box 42024, Los Angeles, CA 90042. www.gorskypress.com

BUBBLE GUM MUSIC IS THE NAKED TRUTH
The Dark History of Prepubescent Pop from the Banana Splits to Britney Spears
Kim Cooper and David Smay, Editors (Feral House)

A cast of contributors (from cartoonist Peter Bagge to the bizarre Partridge Family Temple to Greg Shaw) document the history of, and opine on, and celebrate the unknowns of bubblegum music. Pete Townsend once remarked, "some of the world's best music is bubblegum" and most of these contributors agree. Their overlapping and amorphous definitions of the genre cause the chronologically laid out volume to act as a history of pop music from the 60s to today with a focus on that music created with marketing in mind. Entertaining and enlightening, this lively tome sheds light on the names behind the manufactured sounds, the true stories of the real people leading or trapped in the movement, and institutions that fostered its growth. As educational as it is fun, this excellent collection of essays and interviews is a must for any music fan--Tom Tearaway' Schulte

DOSSIER
A Collection of Short Stories
by Stepan Chapman

Cosmologies, creation stories, myths, fairy tales; Dossier, more than anything else, documents the inner workings of a very strange and creative mind. In Stepan Chapman's world, forgotten scraps of metal rebuild themselves into machines in a warehouse on the edge of town; Wheelgirls, half flesh, half machine, circumnavigate Centaura 5 perpetually, unable to stop lest they melt from the planet's scorching lava surface; and in a bizarre rewrite of history, the course of the Russian Revolution is forever altered as the hydrogen in the earth's stratosphere bursts into flame. It's a thin line between the dreamworld and dementia from this 1998 winner of the Philip K. Dick Memorial Award, (and Reglar Wiglar contributor!). Creative Arts Book Company, 833 Bancroft Way, Berkeley, CA 94710

I, SHITHEAD
A Life in Punk Buy This Book Joey "Shithead" Keithley
(Arsenal Pulp Press)

Keithley formed D.O.A. in 1978, giving him a founder's eye view of the North American hardcore scene and post-punk underground rock the world over. This chronicle of his adventures shows the many sides of Shithead: musician, activist and businessman. The meticulously researched book has all the names and dates to make this detailed D.O.A. history extended from band autobiography into scene history. The naturally arranged chronological history is full of lessons for would-be independent bands and illustrative anecdotes of venues and scenes now gone. You will not find this book pandering to a morbid curiosity about rock 'n' roll excess, but you will find a triumphant and inspiring testimonial about plucky punk pioneers as loose knit islands of affinity grow from a casual network to a global web of labels, venues and touring agencies. The book has plenty of pictures and D.O.A. lyrics from Joey's own hand.--Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

LEXICON DEVIL
The Fast Time and Short Life of Darby Crash and The Germs
Brendan Mullen with Don Bolles and Adam Parfrey (Feral House)
Adam Parfrey's Feral House gives us another fascinating biography with the unique format of chronologically arrayed series of short, paragraph-length quotes from those that knew or experienced the subject. No attempt is made to rectify contradictions. (Looking back, how often can the truth of biographical minutiae really be determined?) The result makes for easy reading and provides a kaleidoscopic view of the subject. Author/editor/ publisher, Adam Parfrey (Apocalypse Culture, Extreme Islam) stakes a claim in the rich quarry of the violent and dark subcultures and counter-cultures. Through this lens, Germs vocalist and songwriter, Darby Crash appears as both a taunting jester of the burg-eoning West Coast punk scene as well as mischievous, if not malevolent, pied piper leading impressionable thrill seekers into would-be decadence of the type predicted by Oswald Spengler in The Decline Of The West. Through the remembrance quips, Crash also reveals a side as an extre-mely image conscious and thus insecure youth struggling more to obscure his homosexuality rather than create a cohesive and worthy artistic legacy. Taken this way, it seems that songs that still reverberate in the global punk community, are only accidental revelations of writing genius whose suicide cut short a career that could have been even more defining on this music genre. Full of black and white pictures, this volume includes lyrics of songs by The Germs, a discography, as well as a time line of gigs and key events.--Tom 'Tearaway' Schulte

NUDE TENT TORSO #1
The Pink Couch Project
(Vireonyx Publications)

This premier issue of Nude Tent Torso is a collabo-ration of authors on the theme of a pink couch. Gener-ally, the writing takes a humorous direction as the many manifestations of the pink couch take on mythic proportions in mock honorific poetry, short stories, graphics, and even a script. Some of the most memorable pieces are "The Pink Couch Periodic Table Project" (multiple authors), the imaginary film reviews of "Pink Couch Cinema: Films from the Pink Couch Film Festival" (my favorite, by Mark Ashley), and Denise Thomas' surrealistic piece that begins "Fresh baked pandemonium/tattooed on a pink couch." Vireonyx Publications, PO Box 431147, Pontiac, MI 48343-1147 www.vireopub.org (Tom "Tearaway" Schulte)

THE ZINE YEARBOOK, VOL. 6
(Become the Media)
The Zine Yearbook, Vol. 6 samples from zines published in 2001 that had a circulation of less than 5,000 copies. Arranged alphabetically, the article and comic excerpts preserve the original layout. As such, each sample is a microcosm of the originating zine. The varied compendium starts suitably with an analysis of the current state of zines from Ache (more "meta-commentary in graphic form from Cat and Girl) and thus begins a swatch that runs the gamut from personal rants (America? and Etidorhpa) to the activist agenda (Media Reader and Resist). While, statistically, most 2001 zines of small distribution were probably poetry and music publications, The Zine Yearbook continues the worthy task of presenting a spectrum of guerilla social criticism and the wit that arises from punk ideology.--Tom 'Tearaway' Schulte Become the Media, POB 1225, Bowling Green, OH 43402

 

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