Reglar Wiglar's Famous Record Reviews #16

AGAINST ALL AUTHORITY
Nothing New for Trash Like You (Sub City)
Once again AAA start off the Reglar Wiglar Record Reviews with another release. This time it's with "Eighteen out of print, hard to find songs from 1992-2000." That sums it up pretty succinctly (if I may use that particular adverb) 'cause basically this is a coupla' fists full of songs culled from various comp- ilations and split 7s. It's the AAA you know and love; same scratchy, raspy vocals and fast punk rock chords interspersed with ska breakdowns featuring the AAA "wounded duck" horn section (seriously, it sounds like somebody punched the whole horn section)-Joey Germ

AGENT 51
Just Keep Runnin' (Adeline)
Not just a four piece punk rock band from San Diego, but a team of elite assassins, veteran spies, and weapons experts with superhuman strength. This according to the comic book story and format of the CD cover art. Apparently Agent 51 are hardwired, specially trained, and ready to save the world from the fifty member council that comprises "The Agency," which has been controlling the government since the JFK assassination. But enough about that, there's also twenty songs on this CD that are tight in their punk rock catchiness, well executed and high energy, but they do tend to blur into one long song after the first ten or so -Joey Germ

AMERICAN STANDARD HUMANIZER
Nowhere (no label)
A strange trip into the electronic music medium which is certainly atmospheric and sometimes interestingly odd and haunting. A bit of an enigma really. But where did it come from? Arizona, of course-P.C. Jones

ANTIFREEZE
Four Letter Words (Kung Fu)
I don't want to sound like an old timer but these guys are freakin' kids, man! You should see their press photo, they look like they hit puberty while the picture was bein' snapped. That should be no strike against them however, and so I will reserve judgment for their musical ability and songwriting skills only: punk pop songs of puppy love that... you know...make me sick, but they're no worse than Blink 182 and they're much better than MxPx. Oh yeah, a few of the four letter words alluded to in the CD title are: love, hate, pain, feel, hurt, kiss and good...how 'bout: yuck! (say that in two syllables and hit two octaves when you say it and you got it)-Jayne Wayne

ARTHUR DOYLE PLUS FOUR
Alabama Feeling (DRA)
This, like the Mount Everest, is another one of those holy grail collectors re-issue albums. Thanks are in order to the powers that be for making this stuff available and affordable to music aficionados every-where. I've often said that a hundred years from now the major artistic innovations of the twentieth century will be considered to be jazz and film. They'll get to rock music most definitely, but more tangentially. I hope this album will still be on the presses. Using two drummers, Rashied Sinan and his student Bruce Moore, leader saxophone/flute player, Arthur Doyle unleashes all the savage beauty free jazz is capable of. This is done with the help of electric bass player, Richard Williams, and trombone player, Charles Stephens. I don't mention all their names because you'll be able to cross reference their individual catalogues. One of the things this album does so effectively is play for us the natural way this music can so many times evolve. Starting off intense, loud, fast, and free and then settling down only to naturally rekindle. A lot of times free jazz can disintegrate into an endless wailing legato (that's that series of long tones, not too loud not too quiet, melancholy sounding, usually solo or accom- panied unispirationally) that can punish a listener, especially on an overcast Sunday afternoon. I don't get this at all from this one. Another thing this album does that is so great is the way it can penetrate at low volume, perfect for late night individual listening. At higher volume it's more than perfect for annoying the neighbors or dazzling your friends. As far as straight up balls-to- the-wall improvisation this record documents a pinnacle and holds it's own, maybe paralleled, but definitely unsurpassed-Dylan Tante

THE ATARIS
End is Forever (Kung Fu)
The Ataris came to be when songwriter/ teenager, Kris Roe, gave the Vandals a tape at one of their shows. Vandal's bassist/ record owner, Joe Escalante digs it, asks teenager to record, teenager moves to sunny California, puts together the Ataris, and the rest is history. It's happened to all of us at some point. The result is a couple of full lengths, an EP, etc, of pop/punk that gets better each effort. Not (at all) what I'm usually into but "Song #13" is a little more to my liking, being a little harder edged "Life ain't all that bad/ Even if Henry Rollins is your dad." is a funny line from the lighten-up-punk" song "You Need A Hug." Sonic Youth already wrote a song called "Teen Age Riot" so the Ataris need not have. That's all I got. Thanks for reading this. Goodbye-Jayne Wayne

ATOM & HIS PACKAGE
Redefining Music (Hopeless)
This is an entertaining and dare I say goofy assortment of songs as written and performed by Atom & His Package. It's my first exposure to his unique brand of goof rock (I mean no disrespect) and if it's yours too, let me explain; Atom is the living breathing singer/ songwriter/ "ripper offer" (as he put it and I know that's right 'cause I'll be damned if that ain't "Little Pink Houses" on "Alpha Desperation March."). Atom is either a one man Ween or an unstable Wesley Willis? But that's for you to decide-P.C. Jones

ANN BERETTA
New Union...Old Glory (Lookout!)
A band not a person, this is some good politically tinged punk rock that smacks of more straightforward rock (or vice versa). The singer has that raspy, raw voice ala SLF's Jake Burns which somehow makes anything he sings sound important even if it's not. The accompanying press sheet suggests that this record shares some similar attributes with Springsteen as well as John Cougar Mellancamp. Now if I made that comparison in a review of a punk rock record somebody somewhere would demand that I be strung up from the nearest light pole, but I sorta' see where they're comin' from in that respect (Mellancamp more than Spring-steen at any rate) but that's a slippery slope and I've wasted too much of your precious time already. I will say this though, it's not an American Classic but it's a pretty good record just the same-P.C. Jones

BIG, BIG FURNACE
Soundtrack to a Midwestern Winter (Crustacean)
Soft, poppy, indie rock from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Clever lyrics and song titles, especially the first song which initially sounds like it's being played through a telephone receiver, and then this girl picks up the phone, and then the line; "If I had a phone I would call you up." It's a clever trick. The singer has somewhat of a Gin Blossoms delivery at times so watch our for that but it's pretty good despite that...and it's pretty -Irresistible Frank

THE BUSINESS
No Mercy for You (Epitaph/ Burning Heart)
Good old fashioned oi played by Guinness drinking, working class UK punks. Raise your pints, lads. Our team may have lost the match but we can still get pissed and listen to the Business!-Muggsy McMurphy

THE CHERRY VALENCE
The Cherry Valence (Estrus)
Estrus Record's newest cherry (as of this writing which is now indication of the present date in real time) is The Cherry Valence and it sure is a shiny piece of fruit wound up tight and ready to pop. Their duel guitar attack is so out of control they need two occasionally require drummers to hold down the beat! It's big. It's loud. It's rock from Raleigh, NC, eleven songs of it even-Irresistible Frankling

CRIPPLE KID/ THE LITTLE DIPPER
The Little Dipper (Microcosm)
Smells like emo. This is your basic emo; similar themes, subject matter, chord progressions. This is a split CD with two bands that really don't have two separate sounds so it took me a while--by matching up lyrics with corresponding track numbers--to figure out which was which and in the end decided in the big picture, it just didn't matter, but what do I know ? I'm just a big A-hole anyway-P.C. Jones

CRISPUS ATTUCKS
The First Album (Soda Jerk)
This is some pretty blistering hardcore reminiscent of Suicidal Tendencies without the guitar solos; just the aggression. It's a re-mixed/ mastered/ packaged/ release of the band's first album that they put out themselves in '98. It's raw. It's in your face. It's political. I like it, goddamnit! -Joey Germ

DEAD MOON
Trash & Burn (eMpTy US)
Chalk up another one to the holy rock trinity of Fred, Toody, and Andrew, and the cult that is Dead Moon. Eleven new songs of the stripped down garage rock beast. How do they do it? How? Something in the water perhaps, or in the deep woods of the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, that's gotta be it-Joey Germ

DIABOLIQUE
The Green Goddess (Necropolis)
It's always interesting when a piece of music such as this CD by a goth/disco band from Sweden finds its way into the Reglar Wiglar P.O. Box . If it's karma that's at play here then I must have killed someone in a past life. Yes, I must have been very bad. At any rate, I would need about seven shots of Jaeger Meister and an ounce off hashish to even begin to enjoy this music. The Naming Your Band Hey, naming your band can be tough. Not only do you have to come up with a name that all your bandmates can agree on, you also have to make sure that it fits your particular genre. But don't sweat it, the good-hearted kids at the Reglar Wiglar got you covered. Use the examples we slapped together below to guide you in your endeavor. Metal Shyttzz Pop The Shit Garage Rock Thee Shit Avante-Garde Shits Alternative shit Rap Shit E Boy Band N'Shit Punk Eat Shit & Dieaccompanying press sheet suggests that this CD is the "perfect companion for a cold night, a warm tub, and a sharp blade." Perfect companion? Let me be the first to suggest that this record is the perfect reason for such a therapeutic bath?-Joey Germ

DIGGER
Trainwreck (Hopeless)
I had a roommate who had a cat named Digger and one time she chewed open a plastic bottle of red printer ink (she loved to chew plastic) and in the process dyed herself red from her chin to her lower chest. It took several humiliating months for the ink to fade from red to lighter and lighter shades of pink. That's punk rock! Anyway, Digger the band, while not quite as intriguing as the cat of the same name, offer small rewards in the form of good old fashioned pop punk rock on this six song EP titled Trainwreck, and that's where all similarities must end-P.C .Jones

DRAGSTRIP SYNDICATE
Volume (Beluga)
Equal parts Southern rock, classic rock, 70s guitar rock with a dash of acid rock thrown in for good measure. There's some rock going on is my point. Hailing from the glorious city-state of Richmond, Virginia, the boys can lay claim to some Southern roots by taking the Southern route. The singer sounds like Lenny Kravitz sometimes though. I'm not saying that's good. I'm not saying that's bad. I'm just puttin' it out there-P.C. Jones

THE DRUNKEN CHOLOS
"Livin' La Vida Loco" (Hopeless)
Hilarious and brilliant lyrics, excellent songwriting, and stellar musicianship could make this colossal waste of time much less colossal, but as it is, what we get is seven badly recorded, ill-conceived songs of uninteresting music accompanied by potty humor lyrics by an early incarnation of the band that would one day not grow up to become The Queers. An early warning sign of more bad music to come? Yes. To say that I just don't get this would be an understatement. I will say this though, twelve year old boys will love it!-Jane Wayne

EARTH CRISIS
Last of the Sane (Victory)
This is a little snack for EC fans to tide them over until their next studio release. In addition to three rare and/ or previously unreleased originals, the album is predominately a covers record featuring EC's "tip of the hat" to their influences and heroes; Sabbath, Zeppelin, Slayer, Dead Kennedys, Misfits and DSY. -Muggsy McMurphy

ELECTRIC FRANKENSTEIN
Annie's Grave (Victory)
A big old mess of rock'n'roll served ala carte from this prolific band of New Jersey rockers. Eleven new nuggets and a cover of the Dead Boys' "Third Gener-ation Nation" are in this grave, proving once and again that nothing's gonna stop the EF train. In fact, they have another record out as of this writing and probably ten more in the can, but that's another review and shall be told at another time-Irresistible Frank ENEMIES/ PITCH BLACK Enemies/ Pitch Black split CD (Lookout!) You know, punk rock ain't rocket science. Hell, it ain't even the science that developed the technology for the George Foreman Grill. So it's no surprise that some punk rock music can sound downright generic, but it ain't necessarily so with this band Enemies. I think a lot of that has to do with the vocals but the songs in general break out of the mold. The band that shares the second half of this split, Pitch Black, have a darker hardcore sound reminiscent of the Subhumans. It's a good pairing and a good raw punk rock record-J. Germ FARTZ What's in a Name? (Alternative Tentacles) Explosively powerful, highly flammable, never silent but always, deadly: Fartz, ladies and gentlemen-Joey Germ

FEAR
American Beer (Hall of Records)
One need look no further than the last McMurphy Family Reunion for proof that some reunions just shouldn't take place-Muggsy McMurphy 59 TIMES THE PAIN Calling the Public (Epitaph) If I hear one more band from Fagersta I'm gonna fuckin' scream! Just kidding. 59 Times the Pain is a good old fashioned punk rock band from Fagersta, Sweden. There's a lot of different influences at play on this, their fourth full-length, the least of which is the DŸ. More so is the sounds of British punk rock ala The Clash and The Ruts, et al. Especially with the reggae-inspired beats on a couple tracks, "The Emergency" being a good example. There's also some more straight -forward rockers like the title track for instance. I'm going to go on record as saying 59 Times the Pain is the best thing to come out of Sweden since...since...what are those little meatballs called again? I love those fucking things-Meatball McMurphy

THE FIRST STEP
The First Step (LiveWire)
Good old fashioned hardcore, simple and plain. You can see the spit fly, you can feel the boot in your face, you can smell the sweat and then it's over before you know it. And that's just the first step-J. Germ

F-MINUS
Suburban Blight (Hellcat)
This California hardcore punk rock quartet kick out twenty short bursts of anti-The Man aggression and rage. Being somewhat less angry with The Man as of late, I found that I could relate to this band more on a scholastic level, having earned the grade of F- on more than several occasions in my career as an academic. -P.C. Jones

FULL FREQUENCY
Momentum (Gonzo)
Either this is a CD titled Full Frequency by a band named Momentum or a CD called Momentum by a band called Full Frequency. Either way, who cares?-Joe G.

GASOLINE
Fake to Fame (Estrus)
First Japanese soul band I've ever heard. They got soul, I won't argue that, they also got the blues, a little loungy jaz,z and some garage rock goin' on as well. Set me on fire!-P.C. Jones

HOLLY GOLIGHTLY
Singles Round-up (Damaged Goods)
Genuine 60's flavored garage. Unlike the wealth of today's retro sounds which mock or mimic, H. Go. sounds blissfully yesterday and today. Luv woes swim over simple harp and guitar blues like an ironic Motown. Prolific much like Mr. Childish, it's a pleasure to get a singles package so sweet, so yummy, so nasty and funny. The great majority are originals sprinkled with tasty covered nuggets (Lee Hazlewood, Ike Turner, Pavement). She's a tough chick with delivery; "Less concern I've never seen / Best I'll learn to damn your sympathy." Garage fatale-Randy McQueen

HOODS
Time...The Destroyer (Victory)
As certainly as time is the destroyer, this hardcore band straight outa' Sacramento, is also the destroyer. (How do you like that line, huh? Not bad for a two-bit hack). The Hoods are a metal band with roots firmly planted in hardcore (or vice versa) so you better like both if your gonna go very far with this CD. This is their, what? Fifth album, the first four of which were self-produced as were their first six tours. So they've laid the groundwork and now is the time to start taking names and kickin' asses and I do believe they know about your punk ass, so I'd watch myself I was you. Seriously though-Malcolm Tent

HAIKU REVIEWS
by Randy McQueen & P.C. Jones

Continuing in our effort to inject our readers with a shot of culture now and then, we here at the Reglar Wiglar are proud to introduce another installment of the haiku record review. Classy, ain't it?

COQUETTISH
Total Pop Madness (?)

Melodic hardcore
Energy jam packed with speed
Ska Japanese style

KASPAR HAUSER
Bird's Eye/ Glazed 7" (Spacesuit)

Electric folky rock
Acoustic indie folk rock
With twenty-four strings

IVAN KLIPSTEIN
Lifestyle (Crustacean)
Bubblegum sweet pop
Pink clouds and friendly hand-clap
Psychedelia

THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING
Drinking. Feeling (Swey)

Playful sad man-boy
Strummy childish delight in
Milk cookies speed car

ORGANIC 7" EP
(Microcosm)

Punkers from Portland
Emigrants from Las Vegas
San Francisco sound

WESLEY WILLIS FIASCO
Live EP (C.R.A.S.)

Metal poesy rock
Whipping wild horses asses
Shout simple friction

UNCLE EDDIE
Uncleddium (Crustacean)

Not from Ohio
Funky Midwestern white boys
Firehose rides again Ê

INTEGRITY
Closure (Victory)
After thirteen years makin' the hard music for the hard fans of hard music, Integrity has delivered unto us another dark record of metallic hardcore and assorted brooding melodic interplay (that's what I call 'fancy writing'). Integrity, have some today! -Malcolm Tent

J.J. NOBODY & THE REGULARS
Rock'n'Roll Doesn't End at 2:00 (Hopeless)
I actually would be inclined to agree with J.J. Nobody & The Regulars on their point that rock'n'roll does not end at two o'clock because it really doesn't. They sound like a good, fun, hard drinking live band but I must conclude that perhaps for J.J. Nobody & The Regulars, rock'n'roll should end at two o'clock, or maybe even twelve-thirty-J.J. Germ

KLEINFELTER
Kleinfelter (no label)
I been sittin' hear rubbin' my brains, tryin' to figure out just what the hell a Kleinfelter is when it suddenly dawns on me; I have no idea, so screw it. Kleinfelter write good songs, interesting songs with the aid of a Rhodes piano. I think it's thinking man's rock in the vein of Radiohead. Y'know, I promised Kleinfelter that I'd trash their CD, but I can't. I've failed-P.C. Jones

THE LAWRENCE ARMS/ THE CHINKEES
Present Day Memories split CD (Asian Man)
A split CD featuring two good punk bands. The Lawrence Arms serve up the first four. "100 Resolutions" is a great "gonna get it right next time" song. The Chinkees got some kind of cool organ shit goin' on in a few of their songs giving their punk rock a hint of gospel (as well as reggae/ska) which punk rock has always needed (right?). The singer has kind of a Mike Ness/Joe Strummer voice. The title track is an acoustic song by the Chinkees. Covers some ground stylistically. It's aaiiight-P.C. Jones

LEFTOVERS
667 Neighbor of the Beast (Fueled Up)
Why must we hardworking Americans be served Sweden's rock'n'roll scraps? Is this the fucking thanks we get for giving them the Stooges all those years ago? We do not want your leftovers, Sweden. Would a hot, freshly prepared meal be too much to ask? -Muggsy McMurphy LILLINGTON The Backchannel Broadcast (Panic Button/ Lookout!) Your basic Ramones-style punk rock that stays safely in the parameters of your basic Ramones-style punk rock without daring to cross the line into something that would deviate too much from your basic Ramones-style punk rock. Gabba Gabba, zzzzzzzz-Jayne Wayne LINK 80 The Struggle Continues... (Asian Man) A mix of ska and hardcore with perhaps a dash of metal thrown in just to keep things interesting. The horns get a little tinny after awhile which makes me a little buggy, but that's just a potential negative side effect whenever ska is involved and if you are aware of that risk going in then you should be ok-Jayne Wayne

COLIN McGRATH & THE KILLING MY LOBSTER ORCHESTRA
Allegro Con Chutzpah (Killing My Lobster)
This CD is basically a soundtrack for San Francisco's Killing My Lobster sketch comedy shows put on in the Bay Area. It was originally created to accompany a visual which was intended to be humorous so perhaps if you do get a chance to listen to this CD you should watch something funny or even something not funny and it will become clever and interesting. Maybe you should be listening to it while you read this issue of the Reglar Wiglar. It couldn't hurt-Jayne Wayne MIA Lost Boys (Alternative Tentacles) Not just the last band on side four of 1982's Not So Quiet on the Western Front compilation (and the only band representing Las Vegas), MIA, after moving to Orange County, released a handful of LPs, EPs, 7" singles and compilation tracks on various labels throughout the early '80s in between break-ups. It's good punk rock that twenty years later doesn't sound a bit dated to mine ears. "Boredom is the Reason," "Las Vegas," and "I Hate Hippies" to name a few (or three) of the "stand out cuts." In summation, MIA is essential listening in any punk rock lesson plan -Joey Germ

MOUNT EVEREST TRIO
Waves from Albert Ayler (Atavistic)
This is the album all you aspiring young "jazz studies" (and that's in quotes because maybe you know what I mean) music school students should surgically attach to your eardrums. All of you pathetic Wynton Marsalis wannabes need to drop out, tune in, and turn on. Every time every one of you fumbles through the Real Book at your "graded" recital with your ad hoc fantasy buddy group you do the music and the earth a disservice. You know who you are, locked in a practice room playing scales, or shut in your dorm room considering how it looks on paper.. .LISTEN UP. You're draining all the energy and beauty from the music. You play it with 1/8 the intensity of a weak television commercial. You listen to the masters like Coltrane and write off your useless existence as never ever even beginning to try and aspire to those regions or depths. Meanwhile, your equally weak professor is resting on the laurels of having had the once in a lifetime opportunity to be alive and actually hear the real music when it was being made. You're, "that was some really cool shit you were getting into there man" stuff doesn't impress anyone besides maybe your equally weak-minded parents who might think that you'll somehow get a tragedy perpetuating teaching gig. Mostly recorded in 1975, with 3 tracks recorded in 1977, the Mount Everest trio uncompromisingly rocks. Featuring, from Sweden, Gilbert Holmstrom on alto and tenor saxophone, Kjell Jansson on bass, and Conny Sjokvist on drums, these guys effectively establish a level that does great jazz music justice. They get down. All the way down. All the while pushing themselves, and you can hear it. They're entranced. Their instruments are merely vehicles channeling and propulsing an energy most mortals rarely document. The album consists mostly of originals, credited to all the members of the band. There is one Albert Ayler piece, one Ornette Coleman tune, and one song by Gary Bartz. The Mount Everest version of Ramblin' IS jazz studies. I dare you, punk-Dylan Tante

NERVE AGENTS
The Butterfly Collection (Hellcat)
New record, new label, same attack from this punk as fuck unit from San Francisco. Germ says "it's a goddamn blast from the past is what it is." It reminds him of '80s UK hardcore by the likes of Subhumans et al. That may be true. It's got him wearing mascara again at any rate. Too early to tell if that's a good thing or not-Irresistible Frank

NO INNOCENT VICTIM
Tipping the Scales (Victory)
If you are of the belief that the world is just a giant ball of shit passing through the intestines of some divine creator, then you will appreciate the heavy metal enema of NIV. It is cleansing-Malcolm Tent

THE PARTISANS
So Neat (TKO)
Anyways, so when I got this CD I didn't look too close and I thought it was a Parasites CD and then I looked at it a little later and thought it said the Parisians and I've always wanted to go to Paris and then just most recently I looked at it and I realized that it says The Partisans and so I'm like, yeah that makes sense. These guys are from the UK's "Class of '78 Punk Rock." Which makes sense that two of the three songs on this 7"/ CD EP sound like the Clash but then the other song lifts the riff from the Stooge's "I Wanna Be Your Dog," so that was totally weird. Technically, I don't think this qualifies as a review, but it's my first one so gimmie a break-Tabitha

Dunc the Punk
In the interest of keeping things interesting, we here at the Reglar Wiglar Record Review Dept. are always on the lookout for a new way to kill off a couple of reviews, and what better way to do that than to give them to a real life Brit punk rocker? So here he is, he's Dunc the Punk and he's pissed*

RUFIO
Perhaps, I Suppose... (The Militia Group)
I suppose, perhaps these twats think this is good. Well, Dunc the Punk KNOWS that it sucks the long one. Bunkum.

HENRY
Sounds Like (Reticulated)
Sounds like a piss-poor sack of shite from a bunch of sad twats to Dunc the Punk. Complete pony.

THE WEAKERTHANS
Watermark (Sub City)
Watermark? Skidmark more like! Bunch of useless tossers. I shit 'em.

THE STORY SO FAR
When Fortune Smiled (Hopeless)
Here's a story for you. One day some total dickheads release a load of fuckin' bollocks. The end.

THRESHNER
Apparatus EP (Searching for Cereal)
Why did these fuckwits even bother? Dunc the Punk has heard better sounds coming from his arse after a curry. Utter wank.

PUSHOVER
Logic & Loss (Asian Man)
If these nonces ever wander into Dunc the Punk's manor he'll kick two shades of shit out of 'em. I urge you to do the same. The opinions of Dunc the Punk do not reflect those of the Reglar Wiglar or, quite possibly, anyone...anywhere.

THE PINKOS
The Pinkos (eMpTy)
The Clash unplugged! Yeah, kinda in a way. A snotty, folky punk guitar/drum double vocal duo. Vanessa and Steve are a little left-leaning as you may have guessed from their band name. They sing songs of injustice, societal ills, love gone wrong and other such topics of personal and social politics. It's quite catchy as well, and you know that a spoonful of sugar helps the medi-cine go down-P.C. Jones

THE POLKAHOLICS
Polkas on Guitar (no label)
Yes indeed my friends, this record is as the band name threatens, as the album title taunts: polka on guitar! A polka band sans the accordion but not the leiderhosen and certainly not the beer. Dandy Don, Jumpin' George, and Merry Mike deliver fourteen new tracks to the polka consumer. Some come prepolka'd but most are original gems to whet your appetite for the fast approaching polka apocalypse-P.C. Jones

PSEUDO HEROES
Betraying Angry Thoughts (Theologian)
This CD sounds like it came out about fifteen years ago. It's got that '80s SST sound to it: Meat Puppets, HŸsker, Minutemen, Dinosaur Jr. I like it not just for being thinking man's punk rock but for having interesting guitar parts, for sounding old but sounding different from cookie cutter punk rock (sniff). I think I need a hanky-Muggsy McMurphy

OTEP
The Lord is My Weapon (Capitol)
This is a cassette tape from a band on Capitol Records. It contains two songs. I don't have a tape player which is too bad because the accompanying literature advised that I should mark today down in my calendar (they probably meant my journal because I don't usually write things on my calendar as they occur) because today is the day that my "preconceived notions of rock will change." I like to think that I don't have any preconceived notions of rock but I must because I'm guessing that this band sucks and I haven't even heard the tape. I sure as fuck know that Capitol ain't gonna send me the full-length CD when it's out. It's cheaper to just tease me with a two song cassette sampler that they bundled up in a big expensive padded envelope (for which they paid double the postage) and mailed it to this shitty little magazine whose record reviewers get insulted when they receive two song cassette tapes in huuuge padded envelopes that don't even fit into their tiny P.O. boxes. But look how much space I saved in this record review section by not reviewing it!-J. Germ

REACH THE SKY
Friends, Lies, and the End of the World (Victory)
Reach the Sky play a pretty tight punk rock that borders on emo in it's vocal delivery. It's pretty heavy and loud. Their press kit says that they're the "most compelling and diverse band to come out of Boston, MA in recent years." I really hope that's not true for Boston's sake. Although punk rock can and should be about diversity, this is not an example. It's just a punk rock record the likes of which we get plenty of round here-Jayne Wayne

ROCKFORD
Victory (Rare)
I saw these guys play at a party once. They played oh...I'd say... about six or seven minutes before their set disintegrated into soggy drunken futility. It was an entertaining six or seven minutes (if you enjoy watching a train derail) and Victory is an entertaining six or seven songs (six). I think the victory that inspired the album title was their temporary triumph over alcohol which allowed them to record as many songs as they did. The evidence would suggest that it was a very close battle, but here you have it, six songs in slow motion, soaked in booze, blues, and god knows what else. Probably pee. Poor bastards. -Dick Cheney

RX BANDITS
Progress (Drive-Thru)
Drug Thieves, huh? This is pretty slick ska rock music that sounds like it's going for the gold. Some of it is pretty darn catchy and some of it just seems like the Bandits wouldn't mind being the next big thing. I think they're too late for the last ska revolution and about six or seven months too early for the next one but nevertheless all the key elements are there; the punk/ ska hybrid, the socially aware lyrics, the horns, of course the horns. I don't know. It could happen and so what if it did, huh?-Irresistible Rankin' Frank

SCARED OF CHAKA
Crossing with Switchblades (Hopeless)
No giant leaps into new musical territory. Not a departure. Just some good ol' punk rock music chock full of hooks, distorted almost beyond perception, underneath raw vocal harmonies topped with snappy drumming (snappy?). That's what I said. This is the seventh full-length record out of this Albuquerque trio. Capable of rock and pop without sounding like pop/rock. It can and should be done like this more often-Joey Germ

SEASON TO RISK
Shattering (O&O)
You could have told me that this record was recorded in 1993 and I wouldn't have batted an eyelash. Season to Risk's sound is reminiscent of early to mid-nineties bands like Helmet and Jesus Lizard; it's a slower paced brand of punk rock yet it's unrelenting in it's heavy, guitar-based metal/ punk which plods along like a slow runaway truck. These K.C. folks actually formed in 1989 and have been putting out records since about 1992, so none of this should come as a surprise to anyone. So don't act all surprised-P.C. Jones

SHADES APART
Sonic Boom (Republic/ Universal)
If you want to hear some prefabricated, completely unexciting, straight off the assembly line rock music then buy this CD! Although I doubt many stores are carrying it. Oh well, I guess you could rub some shit in your ears instead-Germ

SYSTEM AND STATION
Pictures Found in Paragraphs (Crustacean)
OK try this one out: Jane's Addiction circa Ritual de lo Habitual (Side Two) meets U2 circa Unforgettable Fire...either you're running to the record store to buy this CD or you're running away. Which is it?-P.C. Jones

THRICE
Identity Crisis (Sub City)
Identity crisis indeed. These guys seem to be struggling with whether or not they're "Ride the Lightening" era Metalica or an annoying punk rock band. They do a good job lifting riffs gratuitously and restructuring them slightly, and they're not bad on being annoying either-Muggsy McMurphy

THURSDAY
Full Collapse (Victory)
The contrast of a honey-voiced singer and the angry barking back-up vocals set to the clean/distorted guitars works for this band at times. Musically Thursday does some interesting things, BUT: the vocals, like most vocals in this emo genre, drive me crazier than a shit house rat after only limited exposure. BUT: if you like Hot Water Music and Boy Sets Fire you will probably want to check these NJ boys out-Irresistible Frank

THE UNKNOWN
Pop Art (Microcosm/Boss Tuneage)
It's pop all right, but is it art? That's the question that has plagued both scholars and art critics alike for thousands of years. And speaking of ancient pursuits, this Cleveland quartet has been around in some form or another for the past eight or so years and have quite a lengthy discography. It would seem that The Unknown are an often overlooked, underappreciated, and unknown band. It could be the curse of the name or the fact that they're hardly alone in their long standing quest to be a known pop band but only by changing their name to The Known will they ever truly be able to find the answer. Good luck men!-Jayne Wayne

USELESS I.D.
Bad Story, Happy Ending (Kung Fu)
They (people) are calling these guys the Jewish MxPx on account of the fact that they're from Israel. It's true, they do play punk in the pop vein just like every other band right here in the States. It's heartening to think of the prospect that some day World Music will sound like MxPx and Blink 182 'cause that will make the impending apocalypse that much more of a relief. Bring it on, baby!-Joey Germ

VARIOUS
Centre of the Universe Book II (O&O)
Now it can be foretold...finally, Book II of the creamy Center of the Universe has arrived. Or rather, another edition of Owned & Operated's CD sampler has been unleashed upon the unsuspecting public. Some of the same rock prophets are present on this one; Tanger, Wretch Like Me, Someday I. Also featured, ALL, Season to Risk. A smattering of what you're likely to find on O&O right about now kids so grab a fistful of dollars and send 'em to Colorado-The Whiz

VARIOUS
A Fistful of Rock'n'roll Vol. 7 (Victory)
Speaking of fistfuls of stuff, check out this big beefy rock compilation from Victory. Painstakingly compiled by Electric Frankenstein's, Sal Canzonieri, this comp. runs the gamut of rock. From rock to all they way to the subgenre of rock with a few rock tunes thrown in for balance, this CD has everything to do with...rock, so rock it!-The Whiz

VARIOUS
H.E.A.R. This (Sub City)
A compilation featuring twenty-eight songs and twenty-eight bands that benefit H.E.A.R. (Hearing Education and Awareness for Rockers). Features songs from Scared of Chaka, The Bellrays, & Shonen Knife as well as some old school tunes by the Avengers & Toxic Reasons as well as a song by Peter Coyote (?) and on top of all that, it's for a good cause! I SAID IT'S FOR A GOOD CAUSE! You should get your ears checked. Seriously-Jayne Wayne

VARIOUS
Rootical Vibrations (Victory)
I'm gonna be honest with you, I don't know my Afrikan Simba from my Prince Alla, but I like the reggae music just as much as the next wanna-be hipster white boy. So I like this compilation. It ain't Bob Marely if that's your reference point, but it does feature some of the best contemporary reggae artists recording today. Listening to the CD makes me feel like I just smoked a big fat spliff. No, wait... I did just smoke a big fat spliff. Well, whatever, this is still a cool CD-Malcolm Tent

VARIOUS
That Darn Punk (Kung Fu)
From what I gather, Kung Fu Records produced a full-length film titled, That Darn Punk, featuring Joe Escalante and other members of the Vandals. I've surmised from the accompanying literature that the story line involves UFOs, aliens, punk rock, drugs and dead cops (A Repo Man for a new generation?). If it's as funny as the Vandals then it's probably pretty funny, however, I didn't get a copy of the movie, just the soundtrack, which features songs by your favorite bands: Pennywise, Rancid, Ataris, The Vandals, and a shitload more. So buy the soundtrack then buy the movie and tell me about-Joey Germ

VARIOUS
Alpha Motherfuckers: A Tribute to Turbonegro (Hopeless)
Gettin' down and dirty and into the bottom of the promo pile where the compilations sink in the mad grab at the gold. It's rotten work but when you're a bottom feeder like me you learn to freakin' love it. Ahh, what do we have here? A tribute to Turbonegro? Scared of Chaka, I likes them. Queens of the Stone Age? Cool. Super-suckers, Nashville Pussy. Wow. I've got a confession to make though. I've never even heard a Turbonegro song... you may throw the first stone now-D. Rumsfeld

THE WANNA-BES
The Wanna-Bes (Panic Button/ Lookout!)
Catchy, catchy punk rock. The kinda stuff I want to hate but instead just wears me down in the end with it's simple hooks and choruses. You'd think I'd have built up a resistance to this pop punk stuff by now and for the most part I have but when it's done right--that is to say, when it is done well, it'll getcha' by gummit! -Joey Germ

WEAVES
"We are separate but not individual" (Rubato)
Another musical vehicle from some of the good folks who brought us Atom Bomb Pocket Knife and Crovetch. Weaves continue in the vein of Crovetch in it's barely controlled Braniac-inspired intensity. It is a little more controlled however. Don't get me wrong, there's still the gaping head wound, bad trip paranoia that will make you wish the voices would just, once and for all, go the fuck away, but it's a little more fleshed out these days. Sometimes you need somethin' that'll take the edge off for chrissake-Chris Sake

THE WORKIN' STIFFS
Dog Tired...and Then Some (TKO)
A workin' class, 70s, Brit-influenced, SF punk rock band that cranks out the old school punk rock. This is actually a re-release of their 1997 record, Dog Tired with the addition of a few singles and split singles, thus the "and Then Some." Punk by punks for punks, punk-P.C. Jones

Reglar Wiglar's Famous Record Reviews #17

ALL GIRL SUMMER FUN BAND
All Girl Summer Fun Band (K)
And sweet it is; thirteen portions of pop from these Portland pop princesses. Saccharine indeed and very cute-perhaps a little too cute&sweet for my tastes. The songs never get even a little out of control, never get close to actually rocking. Catchy harmonies and clever little ditties aside, no one track really stands out and neither of the two vocalists have a strong voice to pull off a good sugar rush but they are all girls and they are fun so they deliver on that promise-Earl Spankins

ANGELIC UPSTARTS
Live from the Justice League (TKO)
The second installment of TKO's Ringside Live CD series, this time featuring Class of '77 punk rockers, Angelic Upstarts. Recorded live at The Justice League in San Francisco in January 2001. Antifascist/anti-racist, Mensi and the blokes still deliver the goods two decades later with a set of their oldies but goodies and a cover or two (most notably The Clash's "White Riot"). -Muggsy McMurphy

ARAB ON RADAR
Yahweh or the Highway (Skin Graft)
"This is some of that crazy music I heerd tell about." That would be a country bumpkin's reaction to hearing Arab on Radar. Myself, being a sophisticated cosmo-politan type, have a better appreciation for such cacophony although I am rather unfamiliar with the vast majority of the Skin Graft catalog. This reminds me of the Scissor Girls in the challenges that they foist upon the listener and the late great Brainiac for their spasticity. Interesting and not as unlistenable as some might suggest but definitely not comfort music. It will more than likely put you in a dark place and try to keep you there-N. Ron Hubbard

THE BELLTONES
Cheap Trinkets (TKO)
Unfortunately, or fortunately (we will never know), this CD was crammed into the ol' Wiglar P.O. box with about a half dozen copies of Reglar Wiglar #16 that we're returned as "undeliverable." As a result the unjewel-cased disc was bent as fuck and can not be played on my state-of-the-art portable CD player. Why even bring it up if I can't review it? Because I get paid $15,000 per record review that's why. Whose the sucker now, huh?-Joey Germ

BLOOD FOR BLOOD
Outlaw Anthems (Victory)
Jesus H. Christ on a tricycle! Blood for Blood scare the crap outa' me. Get these guys back behind bars and keep my ass outa' the pit. Do ya hear me?!-Dick Cheney

THE BLOW UP
True Noise (eMpTy)
In typical garage rock fashion, The Blow Up cram twelve songs into twenty-six minutes of high energy mayhem. From the J. Lizardesque drudge that kicks off "Robots Yes. Androids No" (which was an unwritten rule in my house growing up) to the ass-kickery of "Black Lip-stick," this Seattle rock trio gets into it and gets it done on a dime. All the ingredients for a full-on, glue-sniffin' rock party are present here and the clincher is that it ends right before the vomiting would normally start-Johnny Suck

BOBBY CONN
The Golden Age (Thrill Jockey)
Bobby Conn fascinates me much the way a good ol' fashioned, white trash, talk-show brawl does. I can't turn the channel until it's over. From the Prince-inspired "Winners" to the synth of "No Revolution," Conn hits a lot of bases on The Golden Age; 80's metal, 70's glam & disco (and more!). I fear it's all part of some bigger scheme to put one over on all of us, and I'm falling for it-willingly! It's not really tongue-in-cheek either. That would imply some acknowledgment that the perpetrator is letting you in on the joke but Conn never breaks character. Or I could be totally wrong on this one. It's happened once before y'know. At any rate, I will leave you with this line from "Whores:" "I'm so proud of being a whore/ Lay me down and turn me out/ And give me some more." Amen-Joey Germ

THE BODIES
Firepower is Our Business (TKO)
Fast, catchy punk rock is their business on this seven song EP (available for the first time on compact disc. This was originally released in '98 but it sounds just as vital today as it did four years ago! -Joey Germ

BOXCAR SATAN
Crooked Mile March (DogFingers)
They're back! Still singin' them devil songs. Tom Waites goes to Hell to jam with a twisted devil rock punk band, that's what this train ridin' crŸe from San Antonio, Texas sound like. Don't mess with Texas, please!-Irresistible Frank

BRANDO
Single Crown Postcard (Recordhead/Mr. Whiggs)
This record is being promoted to "select publications." Ladies and gentlemen, The Reglar Wiglar is proud to announce our upgrade to "select publications" status. It only took nine years! Anyway, Brando, from what I gather, is an amorphous sort of four-track, basement studio band with a revolving cast of Bloomington, IN musicians that rotates primarily, if not entirely, around Derek Richey. Brando does have a live incar-nation which features among others, Kenny Childers from The Mysteries of Life. Brando plays something akin to shoe-gazing music, but while you're staring at your shoes you're thinkin' of stuff, you know? If you prefer that your pop music be on the quirky, off-beat side (and a good many do) then you will find Single Crown Postcard to be quite an enjoyable and pleasant experience. It all just goes to prove that there's more than corn in Indiana-Earl Spankins

CHALK
Black Box Broken (Deary Me)
Equal parts art rock guitar aggression and tempered techno, Chalk mix it all up into an interesting black box stew. Samples, keyboards, drum machines, there's a little bit of a lot of things going on here. There's peaks and valleys among the fourteen tracks on this CD but the peaks are definitely worthy of exploration, so get yer boots on!-P.C. Jones

THE CHARGERS STREET GANG
Holy Bop Apocalypse (Get Hip)
These guys may not cover a lot of ground stylistically, just good old fashioned, nonstop rock and roll from beginning to end, front to back, left to right, but what the Gang may lack in originality they make up for in sheer energy and bombast. The Chargers are a dish best served live (with alcohol) 'cause when these guys get charged up it's ridiculous. It really is-Joey Germ

CONFLICT
Now You've Put Your Foot in It (Go-Kart)
Legendary UK punk rock band, Conflict, come out of semi-retirement to make their stance and musical statement known concerning the slaughtering of thou-sands of animals infected, or thought to be infected, or in danger of being infected, with foot and mouth disease in Britain. Two new songs and two bonus live tracks from a CBGB show recorded in 01. Extreme, political, Conflict, ladies & gentlemen, let the class war begin-Tony Blair

KEN CORMIER
Radio-Bueno (Elis Eil)
Eight songs of radio friendly pop music from Ken Cormier. Who is Ken Cormier you ask? I have no idea, but he has a CD out and it ain't half bad-Putski THE C*NTS Oh No, It's the C*nts (Disturbing) Punk rock from the Sout' side of Chicago. The veteran C*nts are back with another full-length CD to appease the masses. Fun, often times funny, short (except for "Overwhelming Darkness" and "Jam" [my natural instinct is to be wary of a song called "Overwhelming Darkness" or a song called "Jam," for that matter, but I digress {which should be evident from the triple bracket stage I have just now entered}]). "I Was Born in A Crack House," rings true for me like a blast off the pipe and "I Want to Feed You," is how I feel about starving people all over the world-John Ashcroft

DEEP REDUCTION
Two (Get Hip)
Rob Younger and Deniz Tek, former members of the legendary Aussie band Radio Birdman unite in Deep Reduction and generate a reverby, swampy, sixties garage sound that will intoxicate the unwary listener. This is as stripped down and back to basics as it gets, a welcome sound these days or any days for that matter-Jayne Wayne

ELECTRIC FRANKENSTEIN
The Buzz of 1,000 Volts! (Victory)
This sounds a little sharper, a little cleaner than some of their previous stuff and the songs? Is EF gettin' better at what they do or loosing their sorta sloppy, yet endearing edge? I honestly haven't heard most of their massive discography so I'll stay out of it, but the debate will no doubt rage on with out me. Maybe they need to throw a wrench back into it, maybe this is the wrench. At any rate, I like it. (I should have made that clearer earlier on)-Jim Willy Jr.

THE EYELINERS
Sealed with a Kiss (Panic Button)
Three sisters. Pop punk. A duet with Ben Weasel. A drummer that sings lead. Is it possible? Well, to borrow a line from a song on Sealed with a Kiss, is it "too good to be true"? No, it's all true, but it's pretty average pop punk in the end. Nothing to get overly excited about-M. McMurphy

FAIRMOUNT GIRLS
Tender Trap (Deary Me)
One of the best records I've heard in some time. It's original, it's got great songwriting, great harmonies. A solid, nearly flawless, get-in-your head rock record that hopefully won't, but very likely may, get lost in the sea of crap that is the music world, corporate, indie rock or otherwise-P.C. Jones

FEDERATION X
American Folk Horror (Estrus)
Junked out jalopies, shotguns and the everloving flag of the good ol' U.S.A., litter the landscape of this heavy gauged guitar and drum trio. A little history: Fed X formed in 1612 (Web site). In addition to this amazing accomplishment of staying together 380 plus years is they also have the remarkable distinction of being the first persons to legalize marijuana (1932 in East St. Louis). They also made a pretty good freakin' album with American Folk Horror and from the sound of it, it was probably recorded around the 18th century (that's just a guess)-P.C. Jones

FILTHY THIEVING BASTARDS
A Melody of Retreads and Broken Quills (BYO)
Whether they're filthy, thieving, or bastards is not for me to question. Been compared to the Pogues, yes. It must be that Irish brogue and the folky jig-inspiring nature of the music. FTB are comprised of members of Me First and The Gimmie Gimmies, Swinging Utters and Camper Van Beethoven. That's quite a mix and the result is fifteen songs of Irish folk with all sorts of instrumenta-tion utilizing everything from pedal steels to mandolins and accordions. No, it ain't punk rock but it is good whiskey drinking music just the same and who don't like that?-Joey Germ

FIREBALLS OF FREEDOM
Welcome to the Octagon (Estrus)
FOF play a crazed, frenetic mess of rock noise that starts off fast, doesn't slow down for long, and manages to get spread pretty thin fairly fast. I kept hoping that the next song on the record would be a power ballad or anything that I could get my brain wrapped around but such was not the case. There's nothing wrong with power ballads by the way-Bradley Pitt FLAW Through the Eyes (Republic/Universal) I'm just gonna pull some key words from the Flaw press release to give you a feel for the sound of these Louisville newcomers: "heavy," "melodic," "moody intensity," "emotional power and honesty" (don't you just hate dishonest music), "atmospheric journey," "driving, heavy alternative music." Are you sold yet or do you still need a review? Let me know, I'm here all week-Jayne Wayne

FLESHIES
Kill the Dreamers Dream (Alternative Tentacles)
Thrashy, trashy, punk rockers from Oakland serve up seventeen songs of drugs, cops, booze, meatballs, big green teeth, and arming the homeless (a song that probably got these guys hand-picked by Jello for Alternative Tentacles). The Fleshies sound as danger-ous as a punk band oughta' and as desperate as a punk band should be-Joey Germ

GAS HUFFER
The Rest of Us (Estrus)
Still huffin' after all these years. This is the sixth full-length for these Seattle's rock and rollers. After more than a decade of rock, the years don't seem to have slowed these guys down any. Fourteen songs of the good stuff-Jayne Wayne

GARRISON
Be A Criminal (Revelation Records)
Garrison is a tightly wound group the purveying anxious, fast-tempo, guitar-dense indie rock. The boys' falsetto voices,threatening to crack at any moment, adds youthful charm to their concept collection of songs about crimes and how to commit them. Exuberant and explosive, Garrison matches enthusiasm with angst-Tom 'Tearaway' Schulte

GRADE
Headfirst Straight to Hell (Victory)
Not as genre bending as the accompanying press materials would lead an unwitting rock journalist to believe. Although, I guess it does bend metal/hardcore and emo into something that actually sounds like many a band I've heard on the Victory label, despite inter-jections of melody here and there. I think basically the problem may be that, although Grade's music may have evolved from full-on hardcore (and I'm guessing here 'cause I don't know) the vast majority of the vocals just sound like shreiking freaking screaming and that just doesn't wash with The Germ-The Germ

TAMI HART
What Passed Between Us (Mr. Lady)
Tami Hart wears her influences on here sleeve and they seem to run the gamut of 90s alternative rock. Hart jumps back and forth from emo to grunge to punk and back like someone who grew up with the likes of Nir-vana and Fugazi. There are some good songs on this record that cry for heavier treatment. Louder, please -P.C. Jones

HOT ROD HONEYS
Kill Me Now (Demolition Derby)
This European punk rock band exhibits a wide strip of American-born drag rock. The music is often hard & fast, a real blur, but whether the sounds wax or wane melodic the lyrics always have a catchy, sing-along feel remini-scent of the bubble-gum birth of '70's East Coast power pop and punk. Kill Me Now could be The Ramones producing The Dwarves-Tom 'Tearaway' Schulte

I LOVE RICH
The Greatest Rock 'n' Roll Band of All Time!! (no label)
I Love Rich are funny. Not funny ha ha but funny...you know. Actually, they're really not very funny-Jayne Wayne

THE IMPOSSIBLE SHAPES
Laughter Fills Our Hollow Dome (Luna)
Another diamond in the rough pop band from (Bloom-ington) Indiana. From the Tobin Sprout school of little ditties. Could use some spice though. There's fourteen songs on this CD but it seems like a hundred-Jayne Wayne

THE INFINITE XS
The Infinite Xs (Chainsaw)
Lotta good songs on this debut record featuring "queer punk luminaries" (there's a Team Dresch connection). Lumninescent or not, this record's got good harmonies and melodies. "Joanna" (not to be confused with Kool & The Gang's tune of the same name) has a bouncy '80s flava to it and would seem to be the real winner here but watch out for sleeper hits like "Chosen One" and the rockin' pop of "Shoot Em In the Foot."-Irrisistible Frank

THE JAZZ JUNE
The Boom, The Motion, and the Music (Initial)
Much too earnest, honest, and heartfelt. Much too weighty, sober and serious. Much too emo-emo- emotional for my tastes, but I'm kind of an a-hole so it figures-Muggsy McMurphy

KASPAR HAUSER
The Tin Can Gong (Spacesuit)
Kaspar Hauser manage to hit the broad side of the barn and bang a tin can gong in the process with this nine song CD of acoustic, roots rockin' urban country metal rap. Just kidding about that metal rap part. Fronted by sideburned singer/songwriter, Tom Comerford, and backed by a group of local Chicago musicians, Kapsar Hauser, (who I think was a person famous for some-thing somewhere at sometime) try to keep the rural landscape on the horizon of this big ol' cow town. -Billy Neil

THE KENT THREE
Spells (eMpTy)
Kent Three cast twelve spells of rock'n'roll mischief on their fourth album, Spells. Footstompin', funny and just plain fun. You will be seduced by The K3 and their unique brand of garage-cowboy-punk-Muggsy McMurphy

KING BROTHERS
King Brothers (In The Red Records)
Dressed like a Yakuza visitation, rocking like the Demolition Doll Rods on "Drum Rock (Part II)" and then a punk Dick Dale on "Big Boss," they cut a burning swatch through every hard rock sub-genre on this album. This florid display of lo-fi mayhem is the typhoon from Osaka that is the soundtrack to one of the most praised live rock performance when they toured U.S. clubs in 1999 and 2001-Tom 'Tearaway' Schulte

KOSHER
Self Control (BYO)
Better than average punk rock, which is in no great shortage these days by the way. Singer's got a good punk rock voice which saves Kosher from slipping into the less than average punk rock pool, which is in no great shortage these days by the way. Likewise, this was a less than average review which is in no great shortage these days by the way-Joey Germ

ANITA LANE
Sex O'Clock (Mute)
Anita Lane was the original Bad Seed who co-wrote "From Here to Eternity," "Stranger than Kindness," among others, with Nick Cave. She's collaborated with many since then, including two other ex-Bad Seeds; Barry Adamson and Mick Harvey. Sex O'Clock has a lot of similarities to the recent releases of those two, especially to Harvey's Serge Gainsbourg albums, which Lane worked on. There is an easy, languid sexuality to these pop rock tracks. Like Harvey and Adamson, Lane leaves the harsh Goth rock sound of the Bad Seeds behind for an updated approach that includes strings, electronic beats and a soft, breathy delivery. It works very well and much of this disc is catchy and memorable-Tom 'Tearaway' Schulte

THE LAWRENCE ARMS
Apathy and Exhaustion (Fat Wreck Chords)
The Lawrence Arms sound not unlike a great many punk bands I've heard since I took over this post as the cynical, been-there-done-that-and-heard-everything record reviewer. And not unkike a few of these pop punk bands they've got a good poppy punk sound that features not one, but two frontmen! Sometimes that can be a little much as it too much but the contrast of the gravely voice with the more clean sounding crooner play well off each other. Apparently The Arms live in Chicago but, like probably most people in this town, I was ignorant of that fact. It's almost a point of pride for us Chicagoans to not really know what's going on right under our noses (unless it really stinks). We usually need outsiders to point this stuff out for us-Irresistible Frank Ê Ê

Dunc the Punk
In the interest of keeping things interesting, we here at the Reglar Wiglar Record Review Dept. are always on the lookout for a new way to kill off a couple of reviews, and what better way to do that than to give them to a real life Brit punk rocker? So here he is, he's Dunc the Punk and he's pissed* Ê

THE STARTING LINE
With Hopes of Starting Over... (Drive-Thru)
Dunc hopes that this piss-awful jism never starts over. Stop now you shitcunts.

LIFER
Lifer (Republic/Universal)
Lifer eh? Just like Dunc's mate Big Ron. He got life for killing a copper. These shit-stinking fuckers should get life for killing music. MI6 Lunchbox (Kung Fu) In London yer lunchbox is yer bollocks. That's the only thing Dunc has to say about this festering cack.

NOBODYS
Less Hits More Tits (Hopeless)
Oh fer fuck's sake. I'd rather split me own metus than suffer this putrid wank again. Even the norks on the cover are bosh. SAETA Structure in this World (Recurving) The only structures in this world that Dunc cares about are pubs and curry houses. Dunc hopes he never hears this minging toss played in either.

VARIOUS
Beast of British (Deck Cheese/High Speed)
Pukka! Proper British punk and none of yer whiny emo piss or nu-grunge-lite shite. Mind you, it would be even better if it included a track by Dunc's band, Shit The Bed. Ê

*The opinions of Dunc the Punk do not reflect those of the Reglar Wiglar or, quite possibly, anyone anywhere. Ê

LEFTOVER CRACK
Mediocre Generica (Hell Cat)
You don't see a whole lotta leftover crack around my house if you get my drift. This is a posthumous (I think) CD of outtakes and initially rejected songs by Leftover Crack and Choking Victim that dabble mostly in hardcore with a splash of metal and a dash of ska and just a hint of church music and...I don't know, a fugue or two. Seriously, there's a fugue on this CD-J. Germ

LITTLE WINGS
Wonderue (K)
My first reaction to this Little Wings CD was, "Oh my god, what is this? Take it off! Take it off, it's killing me! Oh Christ!" But then I got ahold of myself and relaxed. This is a common symptom of punk rock withdrawl. After you've listened to a dozen or so punk rock CDs, then you throw on one that has something that sounds like a recorder on it, well, you can lose your shit pretty quick. However this was quite a pleasant surprise being very mellow, nonaggressive, yet still oddly and interestingly and hauntingly worthy, like if the Assponys got weirder they'd grow Little Wings

THE LOCUST
Flight of the Wounded Locust (GSL)
Superfuckingfastfuckeduptechohardcore-Joeythegerm

LOST SOUNDS
Black Wave (eMpTy)
Jump goth. Some kind of new wave carnival band from the flipside. Out there. In your face. All over the place. These sounds were lost and yet here they are, found on the Black Wave. Go figure. I did-Irresistible Frank

MAN OR ASTROMAN?
Beyond the Black Hole (Estrus)
I've never heard a Man or Astroman? record before but Beyond the Black Hole is exactly what I expected one to sound like: intergalatic surfin' cowboy music. It may sound familiar because I myself have made the trip through the space-time continum and hung out on the event horizon where this is mood music. This might sound familiar to MOA fans because it contains tracks from the out-of-print What Remains Inside a Black Hole as well as some singles and compilation tracks. Either way it's all pretty insignificant when compared to something more cosmic, like the death of the sun for example -Larry Hawking (read my pamphlet, "A Brief History of Wasting Time")

THE MEANS
Vil Viol (DPG)
Wild, fast & furious: the ends do justify the means which are a means to an end. The means to the end but don't take my word for it-no wait a minute-take my word for it-Joey Germ

DAN MELCHIOR'S BROKE REVUE
Heavy Dirt (In The Red Records)
A journeyman of garage rock and heavy roots rock, Melchior is one of two Brits joined with two guys from Florida in this lineup. Like a harsh distillation of American folk music, Heavy Dirt fuses wailing country blues in overdrive and Jon Spencer's take on R&B. It's the hard-bottom rhythm section of Greg Anderson (drums), and B.L. Truax (bass) hail from Florida and provide the low-end with a delivery as heavy and extreme as the metal acts that also hail from that state. This incarnation of Dan Melchior's Broke Revue is hardcore heartland heroics-Tom 'Tearaway' Schulte

MEKONS
Fear and Whiskey (Quarterstick Records)
This is a reissue of the influential post-punk album created by Mekons when they returned to playing live to support British miners during the 1984-1985 strike. Politically calculated, this album presages power pop and salvages the intensity of punk into songs that construct, not destruct. Besides being a guiding light to independent rock of the time, this album also blazed a trail for alternative country and roots rock. The Mekons re-mastered the recording for this first CD release-Tom 'Tearaway' Schulte

MIRA
Cold Cold Water (K)
Like many red blooded creatures I have been smitten by the enchanting voice of the siren, Mira. This CD which features two versions of the title track and two other proper songs, is just a little teaser to a forth-coming future full-length release and therefore not completely satisfying in and of itself. However if there is a full-length is indeed forthcoming, then help is on the way-P.C. Jones

THE MR. T EXPERIENCE
...and the Women Who Love Them (Lookout!)
Twenty-five songs of released and previously unreleased Mr. T pop punk ditties: singles, demo versions and compilation tracks. Like previously released Mr. T records I've listened to, this drove me batshit crazy by about the tenth song. Dr. Frank can really churn out the songs man, but whether that's a good thing or not is a whole 'nother dilemma. There's a cover of the old School House Rock classic, "Unpack Your Adjectives" which is redeeming for the shortest period of time imaginable-Joseph "The Amazing Technicolor Dreamboat' Germ Joey Germ's

ONE WORD RECORD REVIEWS

Hey, I'm a minimalist, why mince words when saying petty, vindictive things, or nice ass-kissey things about an artist and their work? One word can often sum up our feelings about someone or something whether we like or no like. It worked for our hairy, cave-dwelling ancestors didn't it? Sure it did.

BAD ASTRONAUT/ARMCHAIR MARTIAN
The World's IBC Heavyweight Championship split EP (O&O)
Astronomical.

BRACKET
Live in A Dive (Fat Wreck Chords)
Racket.

DUOTANG
The Bright Side (Mint)
Dull-o-tang.

GRANDPA'S GHOST
Stardust & Smog/Early Autumn Waltz Double CD (Upland)
Haunting.

LIMP
Limp (Honest Don's)
Flaccid.

NO USE FOR A NAME
Live in a Dive (Fat Wreck Chords)
Useless.

WILL HAVEN
Carpe Diem (Revelation)
Unseized.

RIVER CITY REBELS
Playing to Live, Living to Play (Victory)
Rebellious. (too easy?)

STUDENT RICK
Soundtrack for a Generation (Victory)
D+

VICTIMS FAMILY
Apocalicious (Alternative Tentacles)
Victimlicious.

MODEST MOUSE
sadsappysucker (K)
I liked the last Modest Mouse record, The Moon and Antarctica. however, after listening to it quite a bit last year and then listening to it again just recently, it didn't really hold up for me. Sadsappysucker wears thin a little faster. Most of the record was initially going to be the first Modest Mouse record but was shelved in favor of other material. Probably a wise move. The rest is bonus tracks of home recorded songs that I'm sure were never meant to be released, yet here they are, released. Sadsappysucker is for the fans, or those who are sad, or sappy or (I won't say suckers) -P.C. Jones

MUSHROOMHEAD
XX (Universal)
Fusing elements of metal, rap, and goth, this eight man costumed band from Cleveland, while actually preceding bands like Slip Knot, play to a similar audience of malcontented teens in the let's-make-music-your-parents-will-hate genre. Unfortunately XX is too all over the place-there's just too many short hops from one style too the next. And then there's the image and lyrical content and the whole "Charles Manson was right," horror show vibe crossed with the neo-fascist Mushroomhead uniforms... It's not for this kid though, I'm still gonna throw on my trusty copy of Shout at the Devil when my old man starts ridin' my ass to mow the lawn-Muggsy McMurphy

MYSTECHS III
Unholyland (Omega Point)
Hell, this ain't no punk rock record. Nope, definitely not the reglar stuff we get here. Singer/songwriter Elil Hyde, sounds like The The's Matt Johnson. Unholyland is dance music, heavily synthesized. Kinda freaks me out a little bit in a way that's hard to explain. Hold on a second, I'm going to take it off...there that's better, whew!-Joey Germ

NEW TOWN ANIMALS
Is Your Radio Active? (Mint)
Reactivate your radios kids and get ready for a parade of hits 'cause the New Town Animals are marching through your airwaves. With a legit (former) Brit on vocals, the Animals bop through 70s-style punk rock tunes that are bouncy, catchy and Canadian and I say Canadian because the New Town Animals are from Canada-Junior Lemons

JIM O'ROURKE
Insignificance (Drag City)
I don't listen too this record much. It made me think too hard about whether it's good or not. Jim O'Rourke's history lends itself to over analysis. It's hard to just listen to Insignificance for what it is, a pop record. As a genre-bounding provocateur, O'Rourke's successes are noteworthy and thus some will gripe that critics will cream over this album just 'cuz of who he is. That's an occupational hazard, I suppose. As it is, this is a relatively straight-forward pop record with eccentric flourishes and instrumentation that's just short of exotic. There's lots of acoustic and rock guitars, layered vocals, organs, vibes, harmonica, sax, cornet, and pedal steel all played by notable Chicago musicians. O'Rourke's soft-spoken (but not really spoken) vox are slightly melancholy and unshowy- like one of those fast walking races where they pump their arms and take long strides but don't really run. True pop songwriters who write billions of simple songs (the ones that emerge from the slop of mediocrity) really mean it and believe it, but if the listener is not convinced of O's sincerity on this CD he'll bound off on some other tangent. So, maybe this record lacks sincerity. I think that's why, despite it being a very catchy and clever pop record, it doesn't get played much at my joint. That and the whole stab at our beloved city of Chicago in Wire magazine... Oh well, no skin off my Polish with everything. Good thing he didn't talk shit about Ditka though. There'da been trouble-Randy McQueen

OZMA
Rock and Roll Part Three (Kung Fu)
I like Weezer. Granted, I don't own any Weezer albums but I like 'em and it's not even a guilty pleasure. By the same token, I like Ozma, and the similarities between the two are undeniable. They both play hard rocking pop music with loud power chords. That has obvious appeal. The fact that Ozma does sound so much like Weezer and the songwriting and the vocals sound like Weezer might be somewhat of a detraction for some, but that sincere form of flattery has even made Rivers Cuomo a fan, and if he don't care, I don't care-Irresistible Frank

THE PATTERN
Immediately (Lookout!)
The accompanying bio suggests that The Pattern may very well be the next big thing, i.e the new breed, the next Strokes or White Stripes, et al. Basically what they're saying is, not liking this band now is like not is at the risk of not being able to say you like them before they were huge: the time to like this band is now! Nerves actually do this much better. Don't get me wrong, The Pattern ain't bad, but they're definitely not the New Breed in my humble, no doubt fucked opinion. -Joey Germ

PETER & THE TEST TUBE BABIES
The Best Of (Cherry Red/Anagram)
As part of their Punk Collectors Series, Anagram makes available this Peter & The Test Tube Babies collection: an enhanced CD that includes live footage of "Moped Lads." This varied and cornerstone British punk rock group includes in this compendium their well executed ballad "All About Love" (a blueprint for a rock band delivering a piano ode) and their perhaps misguided disco jab "Disco." G.B.H. join in for a rousing recording of "I'm Getting Pissed for Christmas."-Tom 'Tearaway' Schulte

THE PHANTOM LIMBS
Applied Ignorance (Alternative Records)
The Phantom Limbs from Oakland play a bouncy, disturbing, stabby style of punk rock/goth carnival from hell music with jangly guitars and spooky keys. Got no cover art with this CD, that's a pisser. Could have used a visual, now I feel kind of unbalanced -Muggsy McMurphy PINETOP SEVEN Bringing Home the Last Great Strike (Self-Help/Truckstop) Pinetop Seven is an amorphous, post-folk experimental Chicago project of shifting membership. The featured multi-instrumentalist o this recording is Darren Richard. This episode's singer/writer also scored and arranged subtle string and horn parts as the canvas for his mysterious tales of heartland Gothic. The music of Pinetop Seven is rich in instrumentation. This recording includes vibraphones, found percussion, accordion and such unusual music makers as never heard outside of the Pinetop Seven by this writer: automandolin and keen-o-tone-Tom 'Tearaway' Schulte

THE PLUS ONES/ TRAVOLTAS
Split EP (Asian Man/Cold Front)
Split CD of bouncy poppy, punky, and bubblegummy sugary rockity rock 'n' roll featuring two originals and one cover apiece by East Bay's The Plus Ones and Netherlands export, Travoltas. Nothing life changing but good pop music nonetheless-P.C. Jones

RANCID/NOFX
BYO Split Series Vol. III (BYO)
Rancid and NOFX split a CD by covering each others songs. If you're a fan of Rancid and a fan of NOFX then you'll like ALL of this CD. If you like Rancid and you don't like NOFX then you'll like only HALF of this CD. Likewise, if you like NOFX but don't much care for Rancid then you will only be pleased with HALF. But which half will you like? Will you more enjoy the half that has Rancid covering NOFX songs (which you might think suck) or will you like what NOFX has done with the Rancid songs you used to hate? It's a pickle all right-Joey Germ

RATOS DE PORAO
Guerra Civil Canibal (Alternative Tentacles)
Ok, the cover of this CD is just fucking wrong. This Brazilian hardcore band make their buddies Sepultura sound like friggin' Queensryche (not really, I just thought that would be a funny thing to say). If you like your hardcore hard, tinged with metal, political, and sung in Portuguese then this is your band. Seriously, they'll be at your house at eight thirty-Joey Germ

THE RAZZLES
Throttle (Get Hip)
The Razzles put the dazzle back into rock and they do it full throttle (a pun!) using a "classic power pop recipe" adding no special ingredients to make it their own. Just your basic loaf of bread-Scat-in-the-Hat

RINGWORM
Birth is Pain (Victory)
Step into the ring with these worms for a few rounds, why doncha'. Birth is pain, life is pain, death, in many cases, is painful. This CD could be painful if you're not up to a full-on metal assault. Are you ready for a full-on metal assault? Are ya, punk?-Muggsy McMurphy

RPG
You Gotta Know (no label)
Now that rocket propelled grenades are in vogue again (I've been using mine for years) RPG are ready to make the scene using their big-ass Marshall Stacks like friggin' bazookas to fire off AC/DC-sized volleys of rock shrapnel at your tender little ass-Joey "Rocket Propelled" Germ

RUNNING LIKE THIEVES
Same Time Next Year (Livewire)
Old school punk rock sounds like it was recorded in a hurry on the cheap just likes they did it back in the day. Singer sounds like Lemmy a bit, like he donates most of his lung power to smoking somethin' or other-Joey Germ

THE QUEERS
Today (Lookout!)
Today the Queers released yet another record. This one has five songs on it-Joseph Germanicus

THE QUEERS
Live in West Hollywood (Hopeless)
Another release from the Queers! This one is a live show, so now you can have more versions of The Queer's hookless, unoriginal, uninfectious, Ramones worship-ping, punk rock! Album comes complete with liner notes condemning punk rock corporate suck-ups and a discography, in case you lost track (or just didn't care)! Thirty-one songs! Worthless at any price!-Joey Germ

SCHATZI
Death of the Alphabet EP (Mammoth)
The Alphabet will never die! Schatzi, in addition to killing the alphabet, are on a mission to bring pop rock back to America by wrestling radio away from bands like Puddle of Shitt, et al. This EP is a pretty solid step in realizing that goal. Big, loud hooks ala Weezer and good production (who doesn't have that these days) don't hurt. I think this EP is supposed to the lay the groundwork for a bigger assault in the future. Bring it-P.C. Jones

THE SOLEDAD BROTHERS
Steal Your Soul & Dare Your Spirit to Move (Estrus)
When will white boys stop playin' the blues? Probably when they get somethin' to be blue about, but until then the Soledad Brothers are here with their own brand and a mighty fine one, sounding at times like early Stones with their rumblin', bumblin', stumblin' blues-Irresistible Frank

STRIFE
Angermeans (Victory)
Where I come from there's a little form of music we like to call metal. Say it with me, metal. And where I come from we're not afraid to admit we like it and we know it when we hear it. Strife is metal and I'll admit it and I'm not afraid to admit that it's good metal. It ain't hardcore, it's metal-Muggsy McMurphy

THRESHNER
Electromantic (CFS)
Slow paced pop music that I would be really like to fall asleep to but I drank a whole pot of coffee in order to stay awake long enough to get through it. Ironic ain't it?-Joey Germ

TIJUANA CRIME SCENE
Change of Venue (Arise)
Not what I expected by the name. You can't judge a band by it's name, so the saying goes. This is much more mellow, reminds me of Trunk Federation in it's attempts to do something a little different. Not just sensitive emocore, a little more inventive and musi-cally...musical-Jayne Wayne TILT Been Where? Did What? (Fat Wreck Chords) Demos and miscellaneous unreleased tracks from Tilt fronted by Cinder Blocks. Angry, melodic punk rock with a female front. Twenty-two songs covering about seven years from 92-99. Twenty-two more songs than I ever knew they released which tilts the scales in their favor-P.C. Jones WEEDBRAIN Hey Weedbrain (RoosterCow) Better than Testykle. Yeah, that's right better than Testykle-Malcolm Tent

THE WHITE OCTAVE
Menergy (Initial)
Apparently menergy is what feeds this band. That's great. The cover is pretty funny, but there's nothing particularly funny about the music. It's pretty serious hardrocking emo. Very similar to At the Drive-In in that respect. Very similar. Pretty good. Heavy bass. Menergy, huh?-J. Ashcroft

VICTIMS FAMILY/ THE FLESHIES
"Calling Dr. Schlessinger" b/w "Gonna Have to Pass" (Alternative Tentacles)
Old school Alternative Tentacles (Victims Family) meets new school Alternative Tentacles (The Fleshies) on this split 7". The punk panegyric to Dr. Laura starts out creepy and ends up hard. The youngbloods in The Fleshies don't have time for such arranging and put their explosive episode at the front of their side leaving a few seconds for the vapor trails to fade out from their speed-punk outburst. Alternative Tentacles has been doing hard punk on vinyl for years and it shows, production on both sides is excellent. Also, both tracks do not appear on other releases from the groups-Tom 'Tearaway' Schulte

VARIOUS
Double Dynomite Sampler (Estrus)
A fantastic sampling of the smorgasbord of great talent on the Estrus Label featuring standout tracks by the amazing Federation X and the spectacular -Soledad Brothers . Fans of garage rock and loud-ass guitar flava' will especially dig this compilation, but of course if you're a fan of Estrus Bands then you already know this. Buy everything on this label! You can't lose-Joey Germ

VARIOUS
Initial Records Punk Rock Sampler (Initial)
A fantastic sampling of the smorgasbord of great talent on the Initial Records Label featuring standout tracks by the amazing The Get Up Kids and the spectacular Hot Water Music . Fans of emo rock and moody guitar flava' will especially dig this compilation, but of course if you're a fan of Initial Bands then you already know this. Buy everything on this label! You can't lose-Joey Germ

VARIOUS
Lookout! Freakout Episode Two (Lookout!)
A fantastic sampling of the smorgasbord of great talent on the Lookout! Label featuring standout tracks by the amazing Ann Beretta and the spectacular The Pattern . Fans of punk rock and pop flava' will especially dig this compilation, but of course if you're a fan of Lookout! Bands then you already know this. Buy everything on this label! You can't lose-Joey Germ

VARIOUS
New York's Hardest Vol. 3 (Go-Kart)
A fantastic sampling of the smorgasbord of great talent on the Go-Kart Label featuring standout tracks by the amazing S.O.D and the spectacular Agnostic Front. Fans of hardcore and metal guitar flava' will especially dig this compilation, but of course if you're a fan of Go-Kart Bands then you already know this. Buy everything on this label! You can't lose-Joey Germ

VARIOUS
Plea For Peace (Sub City)
A fantastic sampling of the smorgasbord of great talent on the Sub City Label featuring standout tracks by the amazing Lawrence Arms and the spectacular Atom & His Package . Fans of punk rock and good causes flava' will especially dig this compilation, but of course if you're a fan of Sub City-affiliated Bands then you already know this. Buy everything on this label! You can't lose-Joey Germ

VARIOUS
Punch Drunk III (TKO)
A fantastic sampling of the smorgasbord of great talent on the TKO Label featuring standout tracks by the amazing The Generators and the spectacular Angelic Upstarts . Fans of punk rock and violence flava' will especially dig this compilation, but of course if you're a fan of TKO-affiliated Bands then you already know this. Buy everything on this label! You can't lose-Joey Germ

VARIOUS
Rock Music: A Tribute to Weezer (Dead Droid)
A fantastic sampling of the smorgasbord of great talent on the Weezer Tribute featuring standout tracks by the amazing Christopher John aka Elliot and the spectacular ??? . Fans of Weezer and their songs flava' will especially dig this compilation, but of course if you're a fan of Weezer Bands then you already know this. Buy everything on this label! You can't lose-Joey Germ

VARIOUS
Team Mint Volume 2! (Mint)
A fantastic sampling of the smorgasbord of great talent on the Mint Label featuring standout tracks by the amazing New Pornographers and the spectacular The Smugglers . Fans of good rock and loud-ass guitar flava' will especially dig this compilation, but of course if you're a fan of Canadian! Bands then you already know this. Buy everything on this label! You can't lose-Joey Germ

HAIKU REVIEWS
by Gin-su

Continuing in our effort to inject our readers with a shot of culture now and then, we here at the Reglar Wiglar are proud to introduce another installment of haiku record reviews. Classy, ain't it?

ELECTRELANE
Rock It to the Moon (Mr. Lady)

atmospheric sounds
lush instrumental landscapes
musical head rush

GASOLINE
Take It to The People 10"/CD (Estrus)

sweaty suit and ties
"power-soul" Japanese-style
Yokkaichi Blues Bros.

MOVIOLA
Rumors of the Faithful (Spirit of Orr)

laidback, lo-fi grooves
you remember indie rock?
Moviola do

ONE TIME ANGELS
Sound of a Restless City (Adeline)

emo pop punk rock
who makes these once angels sing?
the Devil maybe?

OPERATION MAKEOUT
(first base) (Mint)

rock'n'roll makout's
Canadian kiss station
heading for home base

PETER PARKER
Semiautobiographical (Recurving)

venom-filled bites
from radioactive spider
makes band of Parkers

V IS FOR VENDETTA
Beneath This Mask, Another Mask (Mr. Lady)

jagged sparse duet
getting over on the math
with the prog folk tip Ê

Reglar Wiglar's Famous Record Reviews #18 Ê

THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTS
The All American Rejects (Dog House)
I hope these guys don't think that their self-deprecating band name will save them from the wrath of the Reglar Wiglar Record Reviewers. That would be a mistake. As it turns out, I'll be leaving the name alone in order to concentrate on some other particulars. The AARs are a pair of Okie songwriters who write over-produced pop songs containing the always-threatened "infectious melodies." It's basically Weezer without the rock (I was gonna say without the balls but that didn't sound right). Possibly teenage girls will get into this, but probably not the teenage boys and certainly not old burnt-out hipsters (myself being included among the later)-P.C. Germ

THE ATARIS
...anywhere but here (Kung Fu)
Anywhere but my stereo. Sorry, couldn't resist that one. Upper Management has been trying to get me to tone down the negativity in my reviews since ad revenue pretty much flat-lined around '96. Old habits die hard but you can teach an old dog new tricks just like a watched pot always boils (if the burners on). Likewise, I can change. Speaking of the late 90s, this disc was originally released by Kung Fu in 1997 with little fanfare. Now that The Ataris have come into their own as part of the massive pop punk army-a people's army if you will-this disc has been re-released to the civilian population. So buy it again, buy it for the first time, buy it for a friend, just buy it 'cause we could all use the money-Joey Germ

AUDIO KARATE
Space Camp (Kung Fu)
Debut full-length from this Rosemead, CA quartet of young pop punkers. AK posses better than average songwriting abilities in a genre that's been glutted for quite some time (as should be evident from reading only a handful of reviews in this magazine). AK do it a little better, due mostly to the vocals of Art Barrios which are delivered in that raspy, crackly, urgent, bordering-on-emo style. Tight, poppy, punk for the kids. Aiiii-ya! (that was a karate chop scream)-Drunk Bill

AVENGED SEVENFOLD
Sounding the Seventh Trumpet (Hopeless)
Heavy metal on a punk label? Yep. It's metal pretty much through and through. Nothin' wrong with that. Nope. I likes metal. The problem is Avenged Sevenfold's attempt to mix genres by taking the double bass drum, the growling vocals and the muted metal riffs and then throwing in the occasional burst of metal-style crooning ala the late Layne Staley is cause for nothing short of a brain hemorrhage. (and not the good kind!). Queen is the last band I know of to be able to pull off this much fucking around per song. The question is, does Avenged Sevenfold pull it off? Not for me they don't, but I like Weedbrain so go figure -Malcolm Tent

THE BEAUTIFUL MISTAKE
Light a Match, for I Deserve to Burn (The Militia Group)
Somebody light a match! This is one of those slow-tempo emo bands that, in addition to the emo vocals, also have some hardcore dude barking shit on the choruses. Not a beautiful mistake, but a mistake nonetheless. Let's nip this particular music trend in the bud-Joey Germ BLACK WIDOWS Stops a Beating Heart (Initial) Don't let the metal name fool yah, these guys play the punk rock music. I say, don't let the name fool yah, 'cause the cousin of a friend of mine back in high school was in a band called Black Widow. This was circa The CrŸe's Too Fast for Love, and they weren't bad as far as friends' cousin's bands go, know what I mean? Hold up a sec. Now I can't remember if I just made that whole thing up or not... no, it's true. I think. Anyway, these Black Widows are the punk rock equivalent of a mid-Eighties, CrŸe-worshiping metal band from Wisconsin... or a spider. Sorry if I'm not making sense, I really haven't been sleeping that well lately-Malcolm Tent

BLOOD RED
Hostage (Initial)
The members of Blood Red share a mutual admiration for the rock and roll band, U2. An indie punk band that openly admits they like U2 and is influenced by U2 gets automatic props from me. It's not easy coming out, but doesn't it feel good? No more lies. Anyway, this Long Island band is the result of the merger of two other L.I. bands, Silent Majority and Inside, (also known for their melodic brand of hardcore music). While I'm not ashamed to admit I like U2 better than I like Blood Red, I'm still giving them props for liking U2 (The Alarm would have been different story altogether)-Jayne Wayne

THE BLOW
Bonus Album (K)
Oh, what a smart-ass, shit rag record reviewer couldn't do with a band called The Blow. The mind boggles at the possibilities... I won't go there 'cause I've been there, ok? It's too easy. It's a coward's way out and I'm a Record Reviewer goddamn it! Kids look up to me. The Blow is kind of a quirky weird pop band and by band I mean Kaela Maricich who sounds not unlike fellow K recording artist, Mira, at times. The Blow also covers that "Jet Ski Accidents" song about HŸsker DŸ that I was telling you about in my Wolf Colonel review which I know you read (and if you haven't go read it now). Kinda freaky, huh?-P.C. Jones

BOUNCING SOULS/ANTI-FLAG
BYO Split Series Volume IV (BYO)
Perhaps the most solid of the BYO Split Series (although I must admit to missing out on II). Two evenly matched, tight, quality punk bands bring some new tunes to the table as well as covers of classic punk songs by Buzzcocks, Cocksparrer, and Anti-Flag (courtesy of Bouncing Souls, of course.)-Drunk Bill BRATMOBILE Girls Get Busy (Lookout!) Despite (at least one) breakup in the last ten plus years, the B-Mobile is still mobile, still in commission and still on a mission to deliver a cynical yet positive message to the youths of today. With their own blend of monotone vocals delivered over pared down surf-tinged punk, the Brats beat back-Toad Anderson

THE CHERRY VALENCE
Riffin' (Estrus)
I gotta tell ya, with some of the people I've had the displeasure of sharing living space with over the past dozen or so years (many who've had questionable taste in music) an album titled Riffin' might as well have a big yellow sticker on it that says: DANGER! HIGH-LEVEL RADIOACTIVE WASTE! PROPERTY OF YUCCA MOUNTAIN-DO NOT OPEN FOR 24,000 YEARS, etc. Does anyone know where I'm coming from on this one? I mean, let's not riff and say we did, ok? But this ain't no album oriented rock recycled from the 70s via the 60s. Riffin' makes it cool to riff again and who amongst us can't understand why we need that? Seems like a different sound from their self-titled Estrus debut, from what I remember. They seem to have tempered the garage rock in favor of, well, in favor of some riffin'. A logical progression. Whiskey not included-Malcolm Tent

CHIMERA
The Cost (Lookout!)
If the holy firebreathing beast of post-emo came home to roost in the corpse of a decaying post-rock fantasy, it would probably sound something like this, whatever the hell that means-Irresistible Frank

COCO
The Coco Sound (K)
Minimalist dance music from Chris and Olivia City of Olympia. Did I get up and dance to it? No, like many white people, I can't dance. If I could dance, would I have gotten up and danced to this? I might have tried after a few cocktails. While I don't have a problem with dance music necessarily and while I appreciate the simplicity of the drums and bass sound, this was neither engaging to my brain nor did it arouse my booty and inspire it to shake-Drunk Bill THE CONTROL The Forgotten EP (Go-Kart) Four blistering bits of throat-wrenching hardcore that you could listen to ten times in ten minutes which is why this review took ten seconds to write. Hardcore is about brevity. From Buffalo. Buffalo gives you wings -Drunk Bill

COUNTRY TEASERS
Science Hat Artistic Cube Moral Nosebleed Empire (In the Red)
Billy Catfish told me about these guys a few months ago and said I needed to have them in my life. I'm glad he did, because now I do. Truly, truly, truly, effed-up garbage. If you like the Fall and/or Billy Childish (yes, Jim, I'm talking to you), you should like this. If you don't like those things, I suggest you flush this magazine down the toilet right now. And don't forget to wash your hands.-Al Gore

CRAW
Bodies for Strontium 90 (Hydra Head)
Craw? Craw? Craw? Remember Milkmine, Morsel, Jaks? That early nineties, Midwest, AmRep sound? Is this the same Craw? Sounds like the same Craw. It is the same Craw. Same heavy fast attack. This takes me back to a place that I don't know if I wanna go to? Oh hell, gimmie a forty (that was my drink back in them days) and I'll tip it for my homies. That's when I first started writing record reviews for this magazine. Christ, I was young then. Full of piss and vinegar and forties of... whatever. You couldn't tell me nothin' back then. I remember this one time when a buddy and me went to- (We interrupt this record review in order to spare you, the reader, from reading any more of this sickening nostalgic reminiscing of days probably best forgotten. We now return you to the review still in progress. You're welcome.) -that stain never did come out!-Muggsy McMurphy

CURLUPANDDIE
Unfortunately We're Not Robots (Revelation)
I'm guessing that the title of this CD is a line from a movie but I could be mistaken. I just gotta come right out and say that, while I dig the music, I have a real low tolerance for this style of screaming-bloody-hell vocal delivery. You think that makes me a pussy? Then try to lick me. See you in the pit-Muggsy McMurphy

D+
Mistake (K)
"There must be some mistake! I couldn't have possibly gotten a D+" How many times have you heard yourself desperately scream that question? I've been there. D+ may have been there too and that's how were going to segueway into this record review. D+ is somewhat of a super group of laidback and understated indie rockers consisting of Bret Lunsford (Beat Happening), Phil Elvrum (Old Time Relijun) and Karl Blau (Captain Fathom). It's pretty sparse and minimal crooning by people who don't necessarily have what you might call "good" singing voices. But if you like mellow, sitting-around-the-living-room-on-a-rainy-day-strumming-a-guitar-and-singing music, then make no mistake, you've earned a D+-Jayne Wayne

DAG NASTY
Minority of One (Revelation)
The Godfathers of Emo return after a ten year absence. I kinda missed out on Dag Nasty. Never really listened to a Dag Nasty record 'til now. Having said that, this ain't a bad introduction. Yes, they do blend punk rock aggression and rock melody together. Yes, I can hear that they've influenced more than a few bands. Yes, they do indeed seem to do it better than most of their predecessors. Yes, it does rock pretty hard. Yes, yes, yes-Drunk Bill

DEAD TO FALL
Everything I Touch Falls to Pieces (Victory)
Everything I touch turns to shit too, man, I know what it's like. This is the debut release from Chicago death metalheads, Dead to Fall. It's pretty heavy, it's tight enough, and I like the guitar shit but it seems like the whole thing could stand a heavier treatment with louder drums and bass, and I wish there was some knob on my stereo which would turn down the vocals, but what are you gonna do?-Malcolm Tent

DILLINGER FOUR
Situationist Comedy (Fat)
I really, actually, truly, sincerely like this fucking band and this record...alot. Why do I feel the need to stress that point? I don't know, so many bands try to do this, but D4 do it with so seemingly little effort and do it so well and in the grand tradition of Minneapolis (don't forget St. Paul) bands that know how to rock. I just don't think I need to expand anymore on this topic so I'll leave you now-Joey Germ

DIVIT
Broadcaster (Nitro)
Divit is one of those bands with "pop and punk sensibilities." I don't really get the punk part of that from this CD but I'll take a press sheet's word for it any day. Divit are actually a pop band, and as such, they do their duty and serve their genre by writing songs concerning various emotional situations and feelings. Most of the twelve songs on Broadcaster tend to blur together into one mid tempo song with the exception of "Plan B" which breaks out of the mold a little bit and would probably be the single in another time and a different industry-Joseph Germs

THE ENEMIES
Seize the Day (Lookout!)
With enemies like this who needs friends? If you want a good punk rock kick in the pants then seize this CD! -P.C. Jones

FLESHIES
The Game of Fœtbol (Adeline)
A touching tribute to the game of fœtbol from Oak-land's crazed hooligans, Fleshies. Both fascinating and funny, and coming out as it did at the height of World Cup Fever (or in this country World Cup Warm Fore-head) Fleshies get another wet thumbs up the cooch for Fœtbol. The title track is simply beautiful and had me weeping in my pint. Also released as a ten inch picture disc featuring a fœtbol. Can't wait for rugby season to start!-Joey Germ

THE FLIPSIDES
Clever One (Pink & Black)
Clever, poppy, punky Bay Area three piece fronted by singer/songwriter (not in the bad way), Sabrina. Reminds me of the 80s (in the good way)-Jayne Wayne

THE 4-SQUARES
Steve's Hamper (Quincy Shanks)
Not a barber shop quartet despite the name. In fact, they probably don't get to the barber shop too much. Nope, they probably just shave their heads in the sink (just like Mom used to do). Heady, heavy hardcore with a metal edge and a dual spit-fire vocal attack. Not unlike Suicidal Tendencies. Are they really squares though?-Joey Germ

THE GLORYHOLES
Knock You Up (eMpTy)
I just got knocked up by the Gloryholes... hard-Joey Germ

GORE GORE GIRLS
Up All Night (Get Hip)
These Motor City Gore Gore Girls mix a little 50s doo wop, a little 60s R&B and a lot of garage rock into what would be a trip down memory lane if I wasn't only a twelve year old kid, but I'd still let them be my mommy any day (wink, wink)-Jimmy the Twelve Year Old Record Reviewer

NEIL MICHAEL HAGERTY
Plays That Good Old Rock and Roll (Drag City)
Pretty far out, man. One song here, "Shaved C*nt," almost makes me cry every time I hear it. It's a song about a woman who was treated unfairly early in life, but who finally found the love and admiration of others via the Internet. "It's known around the world/ A picture of a woman/ From the belly-button to the knees/ In a style some might call Chinese" and at the end, "You gave your best to help them/ Though they never even saw your face/ You touched them and you changed them/ And it will last forever." I can't help but feel a little proud of the part I played in helping these lost souls-Soggy Sprinkles

INDK
Kill Whitey! (Go-Kart)
Kill Whitey? Fuck yeah, kill Whitey. Destroy Whitey, motherfucker! But don't just kill Whitey, burn down Whitey's house too! Shut Whitey's factories down! Interfere with the means of Whitey's production. Throw a wrench in Whitey's financial plans. Fuck up his frickin' prospectus, man! Wait a minute. I'm Whitey. Excuse me. INDK, features members of Leftover Crack and Choking Victim and address similar social themes with an approach that fuses hardcore with some elements of the more melodic oi and ska genres. The Lower East Side may be gentrificationifying* but New York Hardcore is back! -P.C. Jones *No, I didn't steal that word from the President, but I'd like to say thanks to George Bush for making illiteracy cool again!

INSENSE
Insense (This Dark Reign)
Look out! Oslo metal band comin' through! While Insense is heavy and hard in a Lamb of God sort of way, it also turns a corner pretty quickly by slowing down the tempo but without losing the intensity. It's good when an attempt at versatility doesn't turn into the kiss of death but rather, a big slobbery kiss of death metal instead-Malcolm "King of All Metal" Tent

JUCIFER
I Name You Destroyer (Velocette)
A very interesting juxtaposition of sounds and styles here. Sexy, hushed vocals and screaming thunderous metal AND they named me Destroyer-Destroyer

LAMBS
Random Radio (Devil Doll)
Lay it down little lambs. Finnish Metal that is neither the church burnin' variety nor the hair band brand. Random Radio is nothing glacier-shattering but it's pretty decent. I didn't get my Lapplands in a bunch over it, but it ain't bad. Definitely worth a markka or two, if you got it to spare-Tarja Halonen

LITTLE WINGS
Light Green Leaves (K)
There seems to be a healthy stock of feral singer/ songwriters running wild and free in the woods of the Pacific Northwest, and K seems to have poached a great many of them and got them to record. Little Wings is the brainchild of Kyle Green and like many of his labelmates on K, he keeps it simple, mostly acoustic and heartfelt. Light Green Leaves is an understated album of rainy day, backwoods, front porch folk music and to add to the appeal of that, if I am to understand correctly, this album comes in three different formats, CD, LP and cassette with each format containing a different recorded version of the songs, a novel idea -Jayne Wayne

LOST CITY ANGELS
Lost City Angels (Nitro)
Punk and rock: rock punk from Boston. LCA do it as well as any punk band and better than many a Southern California pop punk band I've heard. Watch out for track nine though. It can throw you for a loop if you're not ready for it-Joey Germ

MANIFESTO JUKEBOX
Remedy (BYO)
While I certainly don't dispute the HŸsker DŸ comparisons that have been generously heaped upon this Finnish power trio, I would like to offer the suggestion that they sound more like Soul Asylum. Yes, Soul Asylum did have some punk rock soul at one point in time and Manifesto Jukebox has it now. Was it Jon Stewart that called Finland the "taint of Europe"? As hilarious as I think that is, Manifesto proves that this tain't necessarily so-MŸggsy McMŸrphy

MCLUSKY
Mclusky Do Dallas (Too Pure)
Mclusky is a three piece band from Cardiff (UK) with a record call Mclusky Does Dallas which was recorded in Chicago (by Albini). My point? I have none. Just trying to kick off the review with a fairly uninteresting geographical observation. Hey, I've read worse so back the fuck off. Anyway this is some pretty good shit comin' out of the UK. Mclusky is Bush's (the band) wet dream and they have a pretty good fuck-all sense of humor as is evident from the wonderful "The World Loves Us and is Our Bitch" That's tellin' 'em! So mind yer bollocks, mates, Mcluskys here and they've got their boots on-Anthony Blair Joey Germ's

ONE WORD RECORD REVIEWS

Hey, I'm a minimalist, why mince words when saying petty, vindictive things, or nice ass-kissey things about an artist and their work? One word can often sum up our feelings about someone or something whether we like or no like. It worked for our hairy, cave-dwelling ancestors didn't it? Sure it did.

NERF HERDER
American Cheese (Honest Don's)
Nerdherders.

WAFFLE HOUSE
Olympia (Forge Again)
Syrupy.

WAX CANNON
Life-Sized Animals Walking Around (Commie Martyr)
Bombarding.

KNUT
Challenger (Hydra Head)
Challenging!

SMOKE
Smoke Follows Beauty (Kozmik)
Potheads.

THE SOUND OF URCHIN
You Are the Best (RCA)
Blubblubblub (get it?)

STRUNG OUT
An American Paradox (Fat Wreck Chords)
Paradoxical

CLAUDIA MALIBU
Silver Tangerine Hangover (Teardrop)
Psychelicious.

SICK OF IT ALL
Live in a Dive Series (Fat)
Nauseating.

THE KAISERS
Shake Me! (Get Hip)
Shook.

THE MICROPHONES
Song Islands (K)
This is a collection of singles and songs from various cassette tape compilations-just a bunch of sparse and quirky pop songs from The Microphones, a.k.a. Phil Evrum, with help from his friends which include a bevy of K Recording Stars. It would cost you a fortune to buy all these releases separately. In fact, it would probably be impossible, but here they are for the discerning pop enthusiast-Sloppy Bill

MIDNIGHT THUNDER EXPRESS
Midnight Thunder Express (eMpTy)
I wouldn't necessarily say that MTE's attitude and high-powered rock makes up for their apparent lack of originality, although this is many times the case with this new breed of garage rock, but I must say that the New York Dolls took care of all this almost thirty years ago, and they did it in heels-Irresistible Frank

MUDHONEY
Since We've Become Translucent (Sub Pop)
If rock and roll has a John Salley, it's Mudhoney-Soggy Sprinkles NOFX 45 or 46 Songs That Weren't Good Enough to Go on Our Other Records (Fat Wreck Chords) The title should be 45 or 46 Songs That Weren't Good Enough to Go on Any of Our Records Ever and that title should be on the one copy of a cassette tape in the glove compartment of the tour van, way, way in the back. Kidding of course!!! I actually enjoyed this, so I think the premise for this CD is silly. It should be 45 or 46 Songs That Aren't Strictly Punk Rock So Some of You Fourteen Year Old Punks Might Be Put Off By It-Drunk Bill

NO USE FOR A NAME