Reglar Wiglar's Famous Record Reviews #19

A18
foreverafternothing (Victory)
With song titles like, "Scars Upon Scars," and "Bury Me Breathing," suicide-themed packaging, and a very cryptically written press release (which I didn't understand any of) compels me to dub this A18 release the "feel bad album of the year." It's like a thirty minute trip to Bummersville, man!-Irresistible Frank

THE ADVENTURES OF JET
Muscle (Suburban Home)
The concept of this record is muscle cars. Pretty tuff, huh? Kinda gets you in the mood for flames shooting up the side and dual exhaust and ram rods and what not. But instead of being a high octane, sideburned, rock and roll outfit, AOJ is a keyboard driven pop band that is about as far from muscle cars as a Yugo. If I had to listen to this CD in a car I would prefer that it was parked in the garage with the engine running. AOJ make The Cars sound like freakin' Motorhead-Joey Germ

ARMOR FOR SLEEP
Dream to Make Believe (Equal Vision)
Music for sleep, to make you sleepy, to put your ass to sleep-Muggsy "The Sandman" McMurphy

ATOMIC 7
Gowns by Edith Head (Mint)
It's nice to hear something like this after hearing a bunch of modern day hardcore/emo shit. No vocals, what could be better than that? Nuthin' I tells yah. Atomic 7 is a good old fashioned surf/country instrumental band in the vein of Shadowy Men from a Shadowy Planet and even features Brian Connelly, a guitarist for those fellow Canadian rockers. It's a nice change but I don't think I could live on a steady diet of this either. Thank god for diversity, eh?-Malcolm Tent

AVAIL
Front Porch Stories (Fat Wreck Chords)
One hundred years of Avail and counting. Back with more anthemic (not a word), fistpumping punk/ hardcore, for the kids. Keep it comin' brothers-Irresistible Frank

BAD ASTRONAUT
Houston, We Have a Drinking Problem (Honest Don's)
Poppy, space rock (not really space rock but it keeps in theme with the whole astronaut thing). Sounds at times like Lou Barlow in an in-the-bedroom kind of way, and in the harder rockin' sort of way as well. The good kind of rockin' downer-Jayne Wayne

BANG BANG
4 song CD (no label)
This is a little four song sampler from Chicago's Bang! Bang! From the tight, paranoid guitar ala Gang of Four on "High Speed Romance" to the garage rockin' hijinks of "Spank," Bang! Bang! give you some bang for your buck or in my case for free-Joey Germ

BAYLIES BAND
Suicide Notes from the Underground (no label)
Baylies is presumably led by Eric Baylie and despite the lack of the possessive 's' on Baylies that seems to be the case. Sounds at times like the Lips way back in the Here It Is days. With a creepiness and a Killdozer sense of humor, Baylies tell tales and are not afraid to get theatrical or bring the drama. They're out there, man-P.C. Jones

THE BELLRAYS
Raw Collection (Upper Cut Records)
"Punk and soul" is the best way to describe the music from this soul-styling, punked-up rock band. This retrospective is subtitled, "A collection of 7", 8", compilation tracks, and occasional stray dogs from 1995 to 2002." These "odds and sods" typify a muscular, serpentine blend of the emotive (soul) and explosive (punk). Rather than try to mollify this dynamic blend with nicey-nice vocals, lead vocalist Lisa Kekaula deals it out just as unrestrained as the rest of the quartet. Her husky delivery moves this band into the arena of the early '60s Detroit/Ann Arbor rock-n-soul of MC5, The Rationals, and The Up. Take the Maximum R&B of The Who's Live at Leeds crossed with The Stooges Fun House and you have an idea of what Raw Collection is-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

BREAKER BREAKER
Out of Service (Marty)
Breaker Breaker break out five slabs of intense hardcore. Out of service? Not today-Malcolm Tent

THE BYGONES
Circles (Derailler)
Down home, knee slappin' urban altcountry, roots rockin' music with clever lyrics and good songs that tell a story sometimes. It's catchy, it's good, it's from Columbus-Otis E. Lee

C.D. TRUTH
Chemically Dependent (Foot In Mouth)
If you want the truth, the CD Truth that is, then I'll tell yah, Akron, OH's CD Truth play some exciting rock music. Follow them to Akron-Gee Whiz

CONSUMED
Pistols at Dawn (BYO)
I've consumed a lot of pop punk rock like this in the last couple years: crunchy guitars, check; familiar hooks, check; sing-along chorus, check; guitar solo in the right spot, yep, got it. It's been done. It's been in my stereo-Joey Germ

COPELAND
Beneath Mediocre Tree (The Militia Group)
As the press sheet says "Copeland explore some pretty heavy emotional terrain." That pretty much sums it up. And you know what? I'm just not strong enough for it, physically or emotionally-Drunk Bill

COUNT THE STARS
Never Be Taken Alive (Victory)
Count the Bad Haircuts more like. Pop punk? Baby, you guessed it. I bet they jump around on stage with a lot of energy and the girls really dig them. Good for them. I wish them luck and better haircuts in the future-Joe "Bad Haircut" Germ

CREEPY D
Workin' Tryin' (no label)
Lord, I gotta keep on creepin'! Creepy D and CrŸe are back creepin' with a new twelve song, full-length CD about tryin' to talk to your teacher whilst stoned, raising your hand in school, getting it right (the first time) and just plain old workin' and tryin' in general. You gotta admire their attitude and gumption and the great hooks on this CD. Keep on creepin' Creepy!-Joey Germ

THE CUNTS
La La La (Disturbing)
The Cunts are back with another yeasty batch of garage/punk rock tunes. From the 70s going forward the Cunts remain the pride of the Sout' Side. The album cover is a painting of two pink poodles doin' it. Brilliant! A local rag recently labeled the Cunt's name and choice of artwork as two missteps, yeah two missteps in the right direction!-Jayne Wayne

DARKEST HOUR
Hidden Hands of a Sadist Nation (Victory)
Don't know where Darkest Hour is from but I do know that they went to Gothenburg, Sweden to record this record thus making sure their mix of metal and hard-core was as authentic as their favorite dark bands. And it's dark all right, hit the lights!-Malcolm Tent

DAYCARE SWINDLERS
Heathen Radio (Go-Kart)
Fast, tight, hardcore from D.C.. Yeah, that's right, D.C. hardcore. Not generacore with the same riffs and some dude barkin' pseudo political lyrics, just good old fashioned, fast, at times melodic, hardcore punk rock from D.C.-Joey Germ

DEAD END KIDS
Demo #1 (no label)
These guys are literally kids and this is their demo CD-R, and on behalf of Reglar Wiglar Magazine, I'm honored to have received it. Sadly however, it would not play in my DVD player, nor would it in my CD Walkman, and alas neither would my computer accept it as a worthy format. I am sorry things turned out so badly for these guys but I can see now why they are called the Dead End Kids-Irresistible Frank

THE DEADLY SNAKES
Ode to Joy (In The Red Records)
This In The Red band has a similar sound to another band on that roster: Dan Melchior and the Broke Revue. This guitar band offers a very melodic, song-oriented sound compared to many of their neo-garage and alt-blues peers. Horns and an organ add Stax soul as well as an upbeat, party atmosphere. There are a half-dozen Canadians playing all those instruments in this Toronto large ensemble throwback to the 60s. Much of this fully fleshed out music is ripe for fueling an all-night keg party. Such an example of premium frat rock is the anthemic "Oh My Bride"-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

DEATH IN GRACELAND
Come on, Touch Me (Formula 47)
This is pretty aggressive, driving punk rock with a desperate vocalist. Reminds me of the Murder City Devils in that respect. It's pretty engaging to mine ears-Chrispy

DECIBATORS
Get Some EP (Decirecs)
Get some? Already had some, thanks. Just kidding. I kid the Decibators and you wanna know why? 'Cause the dBs ain't afraid to rock the 'stache...or the mullet for that matter-P.C. Jones

THE DIPLOMATS OF SOLID SOUND
Let's Cool One (Estrus)
Oh yeah, I'm hep to this sound, baby. Brings me back to those crazy summer backyard jams, eating pork chops and barbeque ribs right off the grill. Speaking of chops, these Iowa City cats are down. Like a tall, cool drink. Dig that if you can. Come on now-Smooth Daddy

THE DONNAS
Spend the Night (Atlantic)
Atlantic didn't actually send us a copy of The Donnas' latest record, Spend the Night, but they did send a 60+ page press kit with pretty much every mainstream press clipping they've compiled in the past two or three months (it being January right now). I'm sure the record is brilliant. In fact, I wish they would have sent a copy so I could form my own opinion about it. Anyway, I hope this review of their press kit makes it into their press kit-Joey Germ

ELLIOTT
Song in the Air (Revelation)
Elliot is a rock band in the broadest sense of the term. They're a rock band like Radiohead and U2 are rock bands, they go into the studio and throw everything at a record and the result is a pretty good, if overly indulgent, record. Lot's of stuff going on, and layered on, and on top of. Not my usual cup of tea but it ain't too bad in a Rock Band sort of way-Muggsy McMurphy

ENON
Hocus-Pocus (Touch & Go)
Enon fuses trip-hop and breakbeat elements on this stylish electro-pop CD. The title track is present in three different mixes spread out over the CD, which gives an unfortunate repetitiveness to the album when listening all the way through. The instrumental mix of "Murder Sounds" is a funky but noir bit like dance music from Bauhaus. This standout track is also lightly seasoned with dub elements. This enhanced CD contains three videos of songs off High Society-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

ESTROGENOCIDE
Estrogenocide (no label)
Kind of a one trick pony. Seven "shocking" and amateurish techno songs about child molestation, mutilation and miscellaneous misogyny. Booooring-Drunk Bill

THE EXPLODING HEARTS
Guitar Romantic (Dirtnap)
This Portland, Oregon band has a great, skinny tie sound. Its power pop recalls such post punk acts as Buzzcocks and The Only Ones. The two guitar quartet has a full, dynamic sound that propels the group's vocals in a way done previously by Teenage Head. Songs like the anthemic "I'm a Pretender" and the falsetto "Thorns in Roses" are equivalent to the best in power pop by any group preceding this top notch ensemble-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

FABULOUS DISASTER
Panty Raid (Pink & Black)
The four ladies of Fabulous Disaster have a big, meaty sound on this guitar punk album produced by the master of the fat sound, Fat Mike of Fat Wreck Chords. Some of the songs pick up a bright kick from keyboards added by one of the guitarists, Lynda Mandolyn. This, coupled with the guitar focus and the group harmony vocals, gives an 80s power pop feel to the music. Panty Raid! bridges the gap from the first albums by The Go-Gos and the best albums by L7-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

FAIRVIEW
We'll Dodge It on the Way Back (SideCho)
Not what you'd expect from Orange County, not what I expect from Orange County anyway. This ain't no skate punk or ska. It's more on the pop side only kind of melancholy and...maybe a little boring actually. Good news though, the one sheet for this CD (under the heading "marketing/selling points") promises that promotions for this record will include "tour shadowing," and "lifestyle promotions." Now what on earth does that mean? I have no idea. Do I really need to know? Should I even be made aware of the fact that Fairview is an "Aggressive Development Artist" and this CD will be priced at $11.98? (priced to move, I think is what that means.) I don't think, as an unthanked, unpaid, combatant in the indie trenches, that I need to see what the top markets are or how, or to who, the product is being targeted. I'd rather not know 'cause it kinda makes me hate music. Anyway, I remain yours, irresistibly-Irresistible Frank

FAIRWEATHER
Lusitania (Equal Vision)
I got a sinking feeling about this band. GET IT? Fairweather are a little too loose to fit into the emo genre and thank god for that because between you and me and that tree over there I think we've all had quite enough. Fairweather's music is a little more spread out and airy yet still maintains that element of poignancy and earnesty (not a word) and-emotion(!) that makes emo feel so important and so urgent-Joey Germ

FALL OUT BOY
Take This to Your Grave (Fueled by Ramen)
Cool packaging and slick production can't save this debut from Fall Out Boy from slipping into the emo-pop-punk sludge pile. This sounds like so much of the rest of stuff that has found its way into the review stacks around here. This horse done been beat, ya'll -Muggsy McMurphy

FATAL FLYING GUILLOTEENS
Get Knifed (Estrus)
Get knifed. Yeah, let's get knifed tonight! Let's get totally fuckin' knifed, man! Actually, I'm gonna pass on the gettin' knifed proposal, although I wouldn't mind having my head lopped off, but only if it was done by the Fatal Flying Guilloteens. Those suckers be flyin' man and if that isn't enough, well...it had just better be enough-The Lopper

FEDERATION X
X Patriot (Estrus)
After repeated listens, I can't tell if Fed X done redesigned their attack and refined their sound into a more groove-oriented beast or if it's exactly the same as American Folk Horror. Either way, this B'Ham trio deliver the unmistakable Fed X double guitar attack and serve up the fat chunky riffs that you can really sink your tooth into-Otis E. Lee

THE FIRST STEP
Open Hearts and Clear Minds (LiveWire)
Barking fast farking hardcore. Farking? The First Step is the last word in keeping the 'core alive and keepin' it straight edge. Mostly live stuff on this sixteen track LiveWire offering. If you miss the energy and positivity of your youth spent listening to Minor Threat and the like, then take the first step-Joey X Germ

5IVE'S
Continuum Research Project (Tortuga)
Really cool packaging. This looked cool, like some kind of sick prog rock but alas, it arrived unprotected without a jewel case and was cracked and unplayable. I hope you enjoyed this review anyway. Thanks for reading-Jayne Wayne

FLESHIES
The Sicilian (Alternative Tentacles)
More mayhem from Oakland's Fleshies. 133 straight days on the road probably haven't made these guys any saner. Same spazz rock with a few surprises thrown in to keep it interesting. I love the departures from the punk rock on tracks #3 and #6. Check it out, yo! -Irresistbile Frank

THE FORGOTTEN
Control Me (Hopeless)
These guys are so old school, they got a song on their CD protesting "The Social Security Act of 1935"! It's called "Social Security." Now that's old school! They may be throwbacks to another, perhaps "old school" era, when punk rock belonged to the kids in the street, but they're not ashamed. Nope-Joey Germ

DAVID FRANCIS
David Francis (no label)
Not the standard Wiglar fare by any stretch of any imagination, i.e., it ain't punk, pop-punk, emo, or hardcore, but we got no rules here. Francis is a New York singer/songwriter in the folk-pop/balladeer tradition (see what I'm sayin'?). Not without its charm and endearing in its own way and thus will be spared the wrath of the Reglar Wiglar reviewers...this time -Management

GATSBYS AMERICAN DREAM
Ribbons and Sugar (Rocketstar)
GAD is on the literary tip taking their name from an American classiic, The Great Gatsby (not that you needed help figuring that out) and writing a concept album on the English classic, Animal Farm (not so obvious). Now if that's sounds a little pretentious for you punk rockers out there, just hold on a second and let's get to the music...pretty pretentious too actually, but I give 'em props for being well read, or for having read at least two classic works of literature. I've read the classics too you know. Ever read Get in the Van by one, Henry Rollins? Brilliant-Joey Germ

THE GENERATORS
From Rust to Ruin (TKO)
Generators play some good melodic punk rock in the vein of masters, The Clash, The Jam, Stiff Little Fingers, et al. The Generators smack of late seventies/ early eighties punk. A welcome relief in a blast from the past. Keep generatin', eh?-Joey Germ

GOSSIP
Movement (Kill Rock Stars)
The second release from Gossip is a stunning gospel-soul-blues-punk ruckus. Full of driving rhythm and undeniable energy this is as impressive a sophomore effort as any. Movement is party music for when you do not care if something gets broke and something gets spilled. Put this in your CD player and press play, and you open a whole can of fiery blooze punk with a mean, primitive bottom end-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

GRAFTON
Blind Horse Campaign (Dead Canary)
If there's a Columbus sound I think this might be it, or at least Grafton is probably a good representative of the loud and heavy rock that has come out of that town as of late. The Means being another good example of that brand of bombastic heavy load. Grafton ain't afraid to get jiggy with it and go down the hillbilly route in places. They'll make you forget what you're listening to if you're not careful-Muggsy McMurphy

Joey Germ's
ONE WORD RECORD REVIEWS

Hey, I'm a minimalist, why mince words when saying petty, vindictive things, or nice ass-kissey things about an artist and their work? One word can often sum up our feelings about someone or something whether we like or no like. It worked for our hairy, cave-dwelling ancestors didn't it? Sure it did. Ê

FLORAPOP
Sunshine Saturday (JAM)
Florapoppy.

THE FORGOTTEN
Out of Print (BYO)
Fugetaboutit.

MONEEN
are we really happy with who we are right now (Vagrant)
Monon.

ONE MAN ARMY
Rumors and Headlines (BYO)
Outnumbered.

ORGANIC
The Life and Times of Sal Sagev (Microcosm/Boss Tunage)
Earthy.

PISTOL GRIP
Another Round (BYO)
Gripping.

POLKAHOLICS
Polka Can't Die (no label)
Fabpolkatastariffic.

SCISSORFIGHT
Potential New Agent for Unconventional Warfare (Tortuga)
Cutting.

VARIOUS
Fat Music Vol. VI (Fat Wreck)
Varying.

HOODS
Pray for Death (Victory)
Metalcore band typical of what you might find in the Victory stable these days: tight blasts of hardcore with muted metal stylings thrown underneath aggro vocals with lyrics concerning all the pain and suffering and bullshit in the world (like we needed another reminder). Pray for death? If it was all Hoods and no Beyonce? Every night-P.C. Jones

ICONS OF FILTH
Nostradamnedus (GoKart)
Good songs with raspy, off-key singing from British punk rock vets Icons of Filth. It's been twenty years since the Icons first hit the crusty scene but the passion's there, mate, the passion and the anger, because the more things change, the more they...you know the script-Joey Germ

THE IMMORTAL LEE COUNTY KILLERS
The Immortal Lee County Killers (Estrus)
Immortal Lee County Killers is an explosive alt-blues ensemble that delivers a bold-stroked version of the blues. Songs like "Robert Johnson" and "She's Not Afraid of Anything Walking" have no soft curves here, they are all rough-edged and jagged like broken concrete. Another side of ILCK is evidenced in their take on Willie Dixon's "Weak Brain, Narrow Mind." Their measured, paced delivery is in a deep soul groove. The group offers its own original as well as other covers from 60s, like R&B giant Roosevelt Jamison's "That's How Strong My Love Is" and on up to contemporary masters of the undiluted form, like R. L. Burnside ("Goin' Down South")-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

JEREMY
Pop Dreams (JAM)
I always thought the word saccharine had a negative connotation. Sure it means sweet, but the sound and the look of the word has always reminded me of poison. Probably because of sacharin which they used to dump into Diet Coke. It supposedly caused cancer in lab rats. Anyway, this is pretty sacharine pop music. Really, really sweet. It's up to individual taste whether or not that's a negative or a postive-P.C. Jones

JETT BRANDO
Jagged Junktion (GoKart)
Yeah, so I haven't been able to figure out how I feel about this CD except that I've listened to it quite a bit. That must mean I don't hate it, right? Yeah, I agree. So I don't hate this, in fact I might even like it. It's good indie pop. Sounds like it could be on K Records except this has a good voice-Jayne Wayne

KILL HANNAH
For Never and Ever (Atlantic)
I don't blame bands for their press kits, especially when major label marketing masterminds are more than likely the source, but Kill Hannah's press bio says that Kill Hannah is as exciting as Ziggy Stardust era Bowie. I was only seven then but I hope that's not true. Kill Hannah have been around awhile and I don't begrudge them their major label status and their alternative arena pop rock. It's because they're local Chicago dudes that I didn't chuck this cheap-ass digitally cloned CD (which skips) right into the garbage-Joey Jerm

LAMB OF GOD
As The Palaces Burn (Prosthetic)
Heavy and brutal in the Lamb of God tradition, only this record stretches a little more than New American Gospel with increasingly intricate guitar parts and short blasts of sick melody and guitar solos that sound like the death rattle of our entire civilization! Another ass kicker from the L.O.G.-Muggsy McMurphy

LOST SOUNDS
Rat's Brains & Microchips (eMpTy)
The Lost Sounds, having ridden the Black Wave, further explore the realm of their carnival goth, punk rock sound which some critics have labeled "jump goth." Actually, I did a couple of issues ago, but now I realize how dumb that sounds. Oh well, too late now. (As a parenthetical side note, I'd like to apologize on behalf of Chicago for the individual who threw beer on your gear when you played The Beat Kitchen last year. We gotta name for those people here, we call 'em jag-offs and we try to stomp 'em when we can.)-Irresistible Frank

LOOSE FUR
Loose Fur (Drag City)
With the caliber of players involved in this little side project (Jeff Tweedy and Glen Kotche of Wilco and Jim O'Rourke of, well, Jim O'Rourke) you'd think this CD would be untouchable from a critical standpoint- everybody's gonna love this record! As much as I'd like to take a piss on the parade, this is kind of a loose (and fury) innocuous, chilled out record. Not a bad hobby for some dudes doin' some bigger and better, or at least some other things -Irresistible Frank

MANDA & THE MARBLES
More Seduction (Go-Kart)
Manda and the accompanying Marbles play a rockin' melodious 80's retro rock that also fuses elements of some 50s balladeering to the overall structure. I liked a lot of this. More seduction-Jayne Wayne

HAIKU REVIEWS
by Gin-su

Continuing in our effort to inject our readers with a shot of culture now and then, we here at the Reglar Wiglar are proud to introduce another installment of haiku record reviews. Classy, ain't it?

BEDFORD
Spaceships, Sex, and Jealousy (Microcosm/Boss Tunage)

a band now defunct
collects all their singles here
s peed up the pop, punk!

MADDER MORTEM
Deadland (The End)

Listen to the ways
madder mortem explore death
you'll be madder too

THE MISTREATERS
Playa Hated to the Fullest (Estrus)

amped up garage rock
slows down for the white boy blues
ain't mistreated me

THE ORANGES BAND
On TV (Lookout!)

jangly guitar pop
with sad boy crooner crooning
a good depression

PANTHERS
Let's Get Serious (Dim Mak)

messy brooklyn rock
most instruments lost in mix
as panther slinks by

SHAI HULUD
That Within Blood Ill-Tempered (Revelation)

very angry men
screaming bloody fucking mess
metallic hardcore

THIS DAY FORWARD
In Response (Equal Vision)

heavy rock screaming
melodic rock interplay
a dichotomy

Dunc the Punk

In the interest of keeping things interesting, we here at the Reglar Wiglar Record Review Dept. are always on the lookout for a new way to kill off a couple of reviews, and what better way to do that than to give them to a real life Brit punk rocker? So here he is, he's Dunc the Punk and he's pissed*

BLUE SHADE WITNESS
Blue Shade Witness (Double Zero)
Uncompromising, powerful, and vulnerable Brit-rock. That's what they say. Gay, whiny and fetid shit-cock is what Dunc says. This lot are about as useful as tits on a frog.

THE BOILS
Pride & Persecution (TKO)
Judging by the cover of this record, The Boils think that Nazi imagery is cool. They are wrong, and so is their music. The Boils fucking stink and should be lanced immediately.

THE BUSINESS
Hardcore Hooligan (Burning Heart)
This really is the fucking business. The absolute mutt's nuts. Oi! punk about how English footie is the best in the world and how England have clearly won every World Cup ever staged. Hardcore Hooligan is the best album Dunc has ever heard.

FREYA
As the Last Light Drains (Victory)
Freya are a miserable bunch of Ethans. Freya have a bass player called Bulldog. Dunc has to respect both these things. What Dunc doesn't respect is the tedious guff they chose to release here.

ED JAMES
Poprocket (JAM)
No Ed, Dunc does not want to take a ride in your rocket ship. And Dunc is willing to bet that no other right-thinking human being does either. Complete and utter Jackson Pollock. 'K off.

HOLLYWOOD HATE!
Product of Our Environment (TKO)
Dunc hates Hollywood too. Especially that Whoopi bint. Kevin Costner is a crime against humanity and don't get Dunc started on that dickhead Charlie Sheen. Smug talentless gits, all of 'em.

THE LYNDSAY DIARIES
The Tops of the Trees are on Fire (The Militia Group)
The Dunc The Punk Diaries: Today I was forced to listen to some pretentious, Winona-drinking wally drone on and on about the usual wrist-slitting, bed-wetting cobblers. Complete pants from start to finish.

THE REAL MCKENZIES
Oot & Aboot (Honest Don's)
You're 'aving a Steffi, right? Dunc has no idea why anyone would pretend to be a sweaty unless they had to. Either way, this is unrelenting pish and those responsible should be minced and cooked in a sheep's gut, like the haggis munching wannabes they are.

SOMEHOW HOLLOW
Busted Wings and Rusted Halos (Victory)
Dunc fancies a sordid posh session with the lemon on the cover of this record. She probably gives good blood. But everything else about this record and the tattooed pillocks that made it is shit on a stick.

WAITING FOR AUTUMN
Now I Know Forever (American Jealousy)
Dunc reckons they'll be waiting a lot longer than autumn if it's a good review they're after. Someone should ram the wrong end of a pineapple up their collective elephants, so they can know forever the pain that this shit-smeared emo caused Dunc by listening to it.

The Reglar Wiglar Guide To Cockney

Steffi (Graf) = Laugh
Sweaty (Sock) = Jock, Scot
Elephant (& Castle) = Arsehole
Ethan (Hunt) = Cunt
Winona (Ryder) = Cider
Cobblers (Awls) = Testicles
Jackson Pollock = Bollocks
Posh (n Becks) = Sex
Lemon (Curd) = Bird
Blood (Red) = Head

*The opinions of Dunc the Punk do not reflect those of the Reglar Wiglar or, quite possibly, anyone anywhere.

MANIC HISPANIC
Mijo Goes to College (BYO)
"They're brown, they're down and they're coming to your town." Manic Hispanic are back with Latinized spoofs of sixteen punk rock classics from The Clash's "Brand New Cadillac" retitled "Brand New Impala," Stiff Little Finger's "Barbed Wire Love", now "Bario Love," and The Ramones "Sheena is a Punk Rocker" done as "Creeper is a Low Rider". Great send up of the Descendents Milo record. Fun. Funny-Jose Germcia

MIDNIGHT EVILS
Straight 'Til Morning (Estrus)
Garage rock has become as formulaic to my ears as pop punk and emo. Every riffs been done, every lyrical subject matter explored. Brothers and Sisters, I have officially had my fill of riff rockin' garage rock. No more guitar solos, please-Muggsy McMurphy

MINUS
Hald—r Laxness (Victory)
While there's a certain laxness at play here, I don't know if it's a Hald—r laxness, but nevertheless... yeah, I know who Hald—r Laxness is, I read the press kit, but I'm not telling you. Anyway, Icelandic Nobel prize winners aside, Minus has been compared to Radiohead and Rage Against the Machine, but I don't hear it on this record. This just sounds like a rock band taking itself too seriously because they've been compared to Radiohead and Rage Against the Machine-Joey Germ

NINETEEN FORTY-FIVE
I Saw a Bright Light (Daemon)
Indie rock from Birmingham, Alabama, recorded in the basement. I was thinking just the other night whilst watching the State of Alabamy get a good bashing from Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, that Alabama can't be completely fucked can it? Well, it's not completely fucked. nineteen Forty-five play the poetic rock of the southland with male vocal leads, backed by female vocals. It's purty-Otis E. Lee

NOISE RATCHET
Noise Ratchet (The Militia Group)
Jumping back between harder rockin tunes and pretty ditties, these guys don't just ratchet up the noise they ratchet up the sensitive guy acoustic, rock which don't always sit too well with me-P.C. Jones

NICOTINE
School of Liberty (Asian Man)
Seventeen songs of energetic, pop punk from a band that is not from SoCal. Nope, they're from Japan, but you'd swear they're from SoCal but SoWhat? Just as good though. Or just as bad. Depends on your feelings towards the genre. They do steal a few metal licks from Metallica and some Iron Maiden vocals tricks which kind of makes up for some of that-Drunk Bill

OPERATION MAKEOUT
Hang Loose (Mint)
Boy/girl/girl trio from the Canadian West Coast. The OM play a kinda poppy, kinda punky brand of rock music that has a dark underlying subtext and while I'm not really sure what that means necessarily, I still think it's true. Not makeout music per se, more like angry at your girlfriend/boyfriend music. An Operation Makeup could be in the future followed by an Operation Makeout but it would probably have to be in that order-Jayne Wayne

THE ORANGES BAND
All Around (Lookout!)
This could put the youngsters in a funk not seen round these parts since The Smiths. The Oranges Band definitely have a unique sound due in no small part to singer Roman Kuebler, but the whole band has a jangly guitar pop sound down. My beef would be that the vocal inflections don't vary much from song to song and so OB may run the danger of becoming a one trick pony. But if you dig All Around check out the On TV EP which sounds like this only more raw. That's my advice to you-P.C. Jones

OZMA
Spending Time on the Borderline (Kung Fu)
I would imagine this band, this label and their fans are sick to death of the Weezer comparisons, well hang on there people we got one more coming; yeah, sounds a lot like Weezer. It's good rocking pop music but you know, it's like a Weezer B-side and outtakes compilation -Irresistible Frank

PEARLENE
Murder, Blues, and Prayer (Dim Mak)
Oh Pearlene, yer so purdy! This is some raw bluesy shit from, among others, Johnny Walker and Brian Olive from Soledad Brothers. It's down, it's downhome, it's rock, blues and soul-T. Bone

PRETTYMIGHTYMIGHTY
Normal EP (Derailler)
PrettyIndieRock. Pretty like pretty, you know, like a flower. Tell no one I said that. PMM is an Athens. Ohio band that have been performing together for thirteen years. That's a prettylongtime-Jayne Wayne

RUNNING LIKE THIEVES
Same Time Next Year (LiveWire)
Running Like Thieves play a mid tempo punk rock with Lemmyesque vocals. Nothing that will reinforce your feelings about the punk rock either way. A decent punk rock band nevertheless-Drunk Bill

THE SEA AND CAKE
One Bedroom (Thrill Jockey)
You can have your cake and your sea too. Mellow, groovy, lush, SEXY! This disc sets the mood that gets me in the mood, know what I'm sayin'? I think you do-Jayne Wayne

SILVERSTEIN
When Broken is Easily Fixed (Victory)
I was excited by the cover art (Martin Wittfooth) and even more encouraged by the fact that these guys took their name from Shel Silverstein, but disappointed to find out that these guys sound like a dozen other hardcore/emo bands that do pretty much this same thing. Oh well, there's always the new Suess record to look forward too-Jayne Wayne

SNAPCASE
End Transmission (Victory)
Sounding at times like Fugazi in the melding of the hardcore with the artcore with the emo. For over ten years Snapcase has been doing this. Smartcore-P.C. Jones

SNOWDOGS
Deep Cuts, Fast Remedies (Victory)
Snowdogs? Was that a movie with Cuba Gooding, Jr. or am I completely fucked? Anyway, these Snowdogs don't pull sleds, they play rock and roll pretty accessible, possibly radio friendly rock and roll. Is Victory branching out? Produced by the same dude that produced Wham!'s debut album Fantastic back in '83. This page should be burning right now. Why isn't it?-B.S. Brown

STAIRWELL
The Sound of Change (Hopeless)
From OC. That's Orange County, dude. Not like the rest of the Hopeless roster. Not pop punk. Just pop. Not bad. I can generally take this kind of stuff only in small doses administered at six hour intervals and Stairwell is no exception, I did make it through this CD three times over the course of a week and that kind of pop deserves props for the hooks and shit-Malcolm Tent

A STATIC LULLABY
...And Don't Forget to Breath (Ferret Music)
Oh I won't. Breathing is an involuntary action. But anyway, A Static Lullaby play that emo/alterna-rock hybrid which features one velvetty, earnest male crooner backed up by a guy who barks the lyrics. An interesting concept which never ceases to drive me crazier than a shit house rat. Press sheet says to file under rock/metal. Metal, hah! That's a good one, but I don't think so. Call me old fashioned but the only thing I file under metal is metal-Malcolm Tent

SUPAGROUP
Supagroup (Food Chain)
From the sneering press photo to the ridiculous band name, you would think I would hate everything about this supa group, and I have every right too, but it's just such ridiculous rock and roll. A band that promises to have your ass kicked by the third song...that's awesome. Nothing original, just good old fashioned rock and roll. What is garage rock really? Underproduced cock rock, that's all. Supagroup is The Big Easy's big sleazy, big dumb rock band-Irresistible Frank

THE TESTORS
Complete Recordings 1976-79 (Swami Records)
The Testors is an underreported but messy, blatant little blotch on the New York punk scene of the last half of the '70s. This 2-CD set of unabashed, unrepentant, explosive punk rock from the group is among the best available from the period. This is the angry, seminal group that inspired many, never had a major record deal, and spawned the career of Sonny Vincent. The CD set has 37 tracks of pure, wild punk rock with an eight selection live section. This is the first time on CD for a good portion of these tracks, many of which are previously unreleased-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

THROW RAG
Desert Shores (BYO)
This is that Sailor Rock you've been hearing about. Aye, that's what Throwrag calls their brand of energetic, P-rock mayhem and who am I to argue? the closest I ever came to sailin' was that riverboat in 'Nawlins summer of '90-Capn' Jeremiah T. Germ

THUNDERCRACK
The Crack (Estrus)
On the CD intro this group has a technique of vocal reverb and clamorous alt-blues that recalls The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. However, "Cheap Cosmetics" is a fusion of hyperactive spy theme guitar with a shade of Elvis Presley in the vocals. "Big Fat Lady" is thunder-soul from Thundercrack with a raw primitivism that could be a side of one of the highly sought seven-inch albums from The Gories. A wide spectrum of sound and roots in the best styles makes The Crack a winning album-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

TOKYO SEX DESTRUCTION
Le Red Soul Communitte (Dim Mak)
I can't even begin to tell you how many bands I've heard this year that sound a whole lot like TSD. Most of them. Eletecric, garage, as good as any of them, but I'm officially over it-Drunk Bill

TORA! TORA! TORRANCE!
Get Into It (The Militia Group)
These guys are from the Twin Cities up dere in Minneapolis/St. Paul. Yah, hey dere. Which may explain the Amp Rep sound. Sounds like Ye Olde Steel Pole Bathtub. Anyway, I was expecting SoCal punk and I got Midwest noise, always nice surprise-P.C. Jones

THE UNSEEN
Explode (BYO)
Brutal, and yes, explosive punk from the streets of Boston. The Unseen have been grinding a combat boot into the face of the punk rock scene for nine years. Looks like nine more years comin'-Joey Germ

U.S. BOMBS
Covert Action (Hellcat Records)
West coast punk legend Duane Peters leads his band through rousing street punk songs that beg a sing-along. It is amazing how after so many years U.S. Bombs can continue to create such great, old school punk. The group is also political, but covering topics most other political bands are not at the moment, as evidenced by "Croatia Breaks" and the inflammatory Oklahoma City bombing song "Framed"-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

VARIOUS
Punk Rock is Your Friend (Kung Fu)
When surveying the neo-punk landscape I mostly see amplified mediocrity and angst over melody. However, whenever I encounter a Kung Fu Records sampler, I recall there is a whole label of peppy and upbeat pop punk that provides memorable and worthwhile music. The eighteen tracks of music (Vandals "I Can't Wait" is an unlisted bonus) are enhanced with six video tracks. As if this were not enough, Neil Hamburger is on hand as "host," delivering goofy lines between most of the songs. It is a great way to find out about new bands. My personal discovery on this budget sampler: Tsunami Bomb-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

VARIOUS
Punk Seven Inch CD Vol. 1. 1988-1989 (Lookout!)
This is a pretty cool collection of early punk rock 7" released on Lookout Records, a real treat for those who we're around the late '80s East Bay Scene and may not have any recollection where their original seven inch collection went or what they did with the money when they sold them. Also a treat for those who were not there but who nonetheless appreciate such historical artifacts. All the originalart work has been included and everything has been remastered by John Golden from the original tapes mastered by...well, John Golden. Features Yeastie Girls, Corrupted Morals, Isocracy, Kamala and the Karnivors, Plaid Retina and Surrogate Brains. So there you go, have fun-Joey Germ

THE VON ZIPPERS
The Crime is Now (Estrus)
The Von Zippers play a laid back, bluesy, swoozy rock and roll. It's the garage rock that ain't in no hurry to go nowhere and really, why should they? We got the time and the crime is now-Irresitible Frank Ê

7" Vinyl

BASSHOLES
Out in the Treetops dble 7" (Dead Canary)
One could call donuts the "missing centers" to describe them by what they are lacking. So the garage and blues guitars/drums duo Bassholes is named after the typical rock combo instrument it lacks. Bassholes reaches back to the primitive blues duo combination used by such artists as Lightning Hopkins in the personnel arrangement. Bassholes take us back to the juke joint days with its take on "Stack O Lee" on this set of two 33 RPM 7" records. The group spans the distance between Hopkins generation and today's electric alt-blues powerhouses like Jon Spencer Blues Explosion. This recording set also resonates with the early days of '60s power blues rock and Bassholes shows its affinity for that style with clamorous covers of "Tattoo" (The Who) and "Raw Power" (The Stooges). Two additional musicians flesh out the punk-styled rendition of "Raw Power."-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

GRAFTON
"Simbitch" b/w "Fine, Good, Go" (Derailler)
Two tunes from Columbus, Ohio's Grafton. "Simbitch" rocks like a sombitch and "Fine, Good Go" is fine and good so go get it-Drunk Bill

GRAIN USA
"Catchy Like a Cold" b/w "Spread It Like a Virus" (Disposable Pop Revolution)
Catchy yes, but catchy like a cold? Maybe not that infectious but "Catchy" is a decent pop song. B-side, the instrumental "Spread," is a better one -Irresitible Frank

LYRES
"Tear You Up" b/w "Felice Noddydod" (D.U.I.)
Jeff "Monoman" Connolly continues to keep the first wave of garage revival alive with his post-DMZ project, Lyres. Wonderfully loose and inexact, this seven-inch is an organ-fueled frenzy of sloppy rock for pure fun. On the B-side the group renames itself Thee Headkotexes and uses soundbites taking the pure fun of the A-Side up another notch for an irrate phone conversation set to a smiling rock instrumental. The song, "Felice Noddydod" is the garage rock analogue to Beastie Boy's "Cooky Puss"-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

PARADISE ISLAND
Get Up 7" (Dim Mak)
Remember back in the mi-90s lo-fi days when bands would pretty much put anything out on a record? This is like that-Drunk Bill

REAGAN NATIONAL CRASH DIET
Sucktastic! dbl.7" EP (RoosterCow/Backward Masking)
Seems like RNCD are on a new kick...gone is the self defeat and urban despair of "Ghetto Sled," replaced by the hip and oblivious swagger of "16," reminiscent of a Foolish-era Superchunk with a Sonic Youth outro.Ê Somehow already fresh in these fast days. However, the real gem is the final track,"Small Song." Picture Exene Cervenka and John Doe actually on X. Brilliant...and by the way, it looks like a million bucks-Duane Lee Hobbes

DVDs

ALKALINE TRIO
The Show Must Go Off! Episode Four: Halloween at the Metro (Kung Fu Films)
Never heard a lick of an Alkaline Trio song before this DVD, so this live show at the Metro in Chicago on Halloween 2002 was my first introduction. Dressed as priests and playing in front of an inverted cross, the Trio churn out eighteen of their pop punk rockers to adoring sing-along fans. Some songs are pretty average fare, others rise above, but on the whole, the band was pretty unexciting to watch and the music was nothing that really got me interested in listening to more. Pretty much a zero on the special features too but I can see how a fan might appreciate this-Jimmy James Snodgrass

DEMENTED ARE GO
Sick! Sick! Sick!/Call of the Wired (Cherry Red Films)
At the very forefront of the psychobilly movement, Demented Are Go began releasing records in the mid-'80s. Thanks to the (hopefully) typified dementia by Mark "Sparky" Phillips, the lead vocalist of this slap bass-based quartet, this may be the most demented of the genre. (Phillips is notoriously difficult to work with and thus the only constant member to the group.) Apparently the group members' wild off-stage behavior matches their crazy on-stage personae and after watching these two concerts you may want to scour the Internet where it is easy to find the morbid tales. The two concerts here, each previously released, were recorded in 1987 and 1994. This DVD brings them together on to one recording. As such, this is a vivid document of this unique blend of Gothic rockabilly punk-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

DON VAN VLIET (CAPTAIN BEEFHEART)
Some YoYo Stuff (MVD)
This is Anton Corbijn's short (13 minutes) black an white film from 1993. It is a personal and revealing look at the former master of Dadaist rock. Through the cryptic answers and strange metaphors, the man sounds so broken and old beyond his years that it can be difficult to take in, as if this were too personal and revealing to be enjoyed from a DVD. Still, it is one of the few windows (if even only a keyhole) allowed into the life of Don Van Vliet since his 1982 retirement from music. Don's mother introduces the film and filmmaker David Lynch makes a running appearance as the questioner-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

GG ALLIN
Live & Pissed 1988 (MVD)
1988 was a busy year for self-mutilating feces-throwing punk rock performance artist GG Allin. During that year he made his debut San Francisco performance with a five-song set at The Covered Wagon. Pre-show footage shows GG backstage with fans. The entire clamorous, confrontational (but by GG standards, not highly confrontational) set follows. Bonus section include a trailer for Hated, nine songs from GG Allin & The Murder Junkies at The Metro in Richmond, VA in 1993 as well as a 1999 clip of The Murder Junkies performing "Freakshow"-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

MEST
The Show Must Go Off! Episode Two: Mest Live at the House of Blues (Kung Fu Films)
Mest are a Chicago pop punk quartet who I've never heard of. This was filmed at the gritty punk mecca, House of Blues, somewhere in California. Mest, who I think are on the punk stalwart label, Madonna's Maverick Records play a fast pop punk, like Green Day (the singer/ guitarist even has the patented Billy Joe neck tick). The after show party footage proves these guys got really, really lucky somebody wanted to pay for the release of such garbage. Mest aeem to be comp-letely retarded both musically and socially. They do, however, have tattoos -Joey Germ

SLAUGHTER AND THE DOGS
Cranked up Really High (Cherry Red Films)
Slaughter & The Dogs began releasing punk rock records in the late '70s. This puts the group in the very first wave of the genre and indeed they started by supporting The Sex Pistols. However, the name Slaughter & The Dogs does not often come up when thinking of the architects of the genre, like The Sex Pistols, The Damned, etc. Beside the fact the group had only one internationally released LP (Bite Back, 1980), Slaughter & The Dogs espoused a heavier angrier sound that had more to do with the birth of oi than the more accessible, even pop-influenced, punk strain that achieved predominance. This DVD is the group in performance at the 1996 "Holidays in the Sun" festival in Blackpool, England and includes interviews-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

WESLEY WILLIS
The Daddy of Rock 'n' Roll (MVD)
This video documentary could be titled A Day in the Life of Wesley Willis. We follow Willis around on his varies duties as he consigns CDs, records songs (at an optimum 2:50 length), tests the patience of Kinko's staff and patrons, hangs out with his friends/support network and rocks the crowd from the stage. Willis' eccentricity and scatological/cartoon/commercial-influenced, hard rock, shouted shorts are legendary. Plenty of this music is in the DVD along with the entertaining look at what Willis does with his time and thus how he functions. Very energetic, Willis seems to talk continuously through the flick and often waxes autobiographical, as explaining the genesis of his own mental condition seems to be a favorite topic. His frequent use of profanity on mass transit and in public places gets him into a lot less trouble than one might think but it becomes part of the show in the fiasco that is non-stop on this entertaining glimpse into someone that needs to rock, for his own well-being. Special features include an interview with Steve Albini (one of Willis' many song subjects) along with deleted scenes, an animated short, and more-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

R.I.P. WESLEY
As most of you undoubtedly know, since the above review was written, Wesley Willis lost his battle with Leukemia. He died on August 21, 2003. The first time I saw Wesley was in the summer of 1990. I was waiting for the North Ave bus. I was on my way to the newly opened Northside Tavern in the still very sketchy Wicker Park neighborhood where I had been hired as a cook. As I waited to board the bus at Clybourn and North, I noticed the man I would later know as Wesley Willis standing at the very end of the line. He had one arm full of poster board (the canvass for his colorful marker drawings of CTA buses and trains) and with his other hand he was relieving his bladder right there on the sidewalk. A few things ran through my mind at that moment and "that man is a genius" wasn't one of them. That was Wesley. After that I would see him around the subway stations drawing the el train and three or four years later Wesley was an underground star. I found that very hard to swallow. I was in the "he's being exploited camp" and witnessing Wesley perform with his backing band (the ultra cheesy, testosterone-fueled Wesley Willis Fiasco) did little to change my mind about that. Many years and head butts later, however, I did change my mind about the role Wesley played in his own rock and roll fantasy and the role of those people who made it possible. Wesley was a giant personality and those magic marker posters were and still are very cool. I should have bought one-Chris Auman Ê

Reglar Wiglar's Famous Record Reviews #20

ALI WITH AN I
I Learned by Watching You (Law of Inertia)
www.lawofinertia.com
Aly With An I, whoops, I mean Ali (with an i) With an I, despite a rather dumb name, are a pretty decent rock band--kind of a cross between a pop punk band and an emo band without overdoing the pop or the emo. Aly's- I mean Ali's (with an i) press sheet says that they "don't care if they get big or not, but they probably will." If I was probably going to get big then I might profess the same indifference. But alas, there are no guarantees in this business-Irresistible Frank

ALL OUT WAR
Condemned To Suffer (Victory)
www.victoryrecords.com
All out friggin metal, man. If you don't like metal then you, my friend, are the one that is condemned to suffer. Sorry, I'm new to this review writing stuff. I'm more of a memo writer and a crafter of foreign policy, but I love everything about this band-Donald Rumsfeld

ANADIVINE
(Sidecho) www.sidecho.com
WARNING: This review contains language not suitable for people offended by the word "fuck." Readers of this review be further warned: you've got a cranky, slightly bitchy, Joey T. Germ at the helm. Just be careful, that's all I'm sayin'. OK, let me tell ya why I'm in a fuckin' tizzy. You forced it out of me. So I rented Whatever Happened to Baby Jane on DVD from a major fucking video rental chain and it's all scratched to fuck (my VCR is broke by the fucking way). But, despite being scratched, it plays no problem. That is to say, it plays no problem until the last five minutes of the movie and then it freezes and I can't get it to go forward or backward and I can't skip ahead and go back--I can't do anything. I'm fucked and now I don't know how the flick ends. Did that one old broad end up strangling that other old broad or what the fuck? Whatever happened in the end of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? Shoot me an e-mail if you know the answer. Anyway, Anadivine formed because of their "common love for the craft of songwriting." I LOVE that somebody still cares about the craft of songwriting! Fuckin' A! OK, let's get beyond that short burst of sarcasm shall we? I don't even know if this qualifies as emo. I don't even know what emo is anymore. The facts, however, are thus: Anadivine is a four piece band out of Orange County, New York. They craft songs that are sincere and emotional and deal with emotion and the music is driving. It also sounds an awful lot like most of the emo I've heard in the past couple of years, but it's good that there are still bands out there that care about the craft of songwriting. God bless 'em, I guess-Joey Germ

ANTIFREEZE
The Search for Something More (Kung Fu)
www.kungfurecords.com
Antifreeze, I knew these guys when they were kids, man, little whippersnappers from up there in Appleton, Wisconsin, home of Houdini and... some other shit probably, not far from Neenah and Menasha, where they make manhole covers, over there by Oshkosh, by gosh. Anyway. I think these guys are the Ataris' bitches, maybe. You never know. More mature than their debut Four Letter Words ('love' was one of them if I remember correctly) which was mostly hyperactive pop punk. Not really my cup of tea, but I only just recently started drinking tea (this is true) and it's not bad. I plan to drink more of it. Any analogies to this CD and the drinking of tea were unintentional. Just singing the praises of tea is all-Jayne Wayne

AVENGED SEVENFOLD
Waking the Fallen (Hopeless)
www.hopelessrecords.com
Some cool metal riffs on this record and just a lot of shit going on in general. I'm hearing a lot of Iron Maiden in the guitar and vocals, and Ozzy, and maybe some Slayer and just a bunch of shit, man. It's good to see that somebody's goin' back and dippin' into that big bucket of once stigmatized 80s metal and mixing it up with the aggression of hardcore and playing it for the kids. This is what we were fighting for in the 80s, man! This is it!-Malcolm Tent

BANG BANG
Do You Like It? (Bang)
www.bangbangband.com
Excitable poppin' rock music from this co-ed Chicago trio, Bang Bang. Sounds like Richard Hell fronting the B-52s, a retro gang bang if you will-Jayne Wayne

BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME
The Silent Circus (Victory)
www.victoryrecords.com
Crazy breaks and time changes on this super heavy, loud circus of a record. Some shit on here is so insane it's almost comical. Twists, turns, and some unexpected shit make The Silent Circus stand out from the rest of the hardcore-meets-screamo pile. In fact, this record is all over the place. It's almost too all over the place. Between you and me (and the Buried of course), it's almost too much. Almost-Malcolm Tent

BIG BIG FURNACE
Losing You (Crustacean)
www.crustaceanrecords.com
Big, Big Furnace no doubt deserve something more than just a flip review for this record... unfortunately it they sent it to the Reglar Wiglar. Oh well, such is the fate of many a deserving piece of music. There seems to be a Chicago theme with this CD from this Wisconsin group. A rare tip of the hat to us Fucking Illinois Bastards? F.I.B.s, that's what they call us. Isn't that mean? After all we've done for them.Wisconsinites are always hatin' on us Illinoisans. Hate the game not the player, Cheese Eaters! Anyway, the cover photos were shot in Chicago, some of the songs were recorded in Chicago and the the song "Losing You" sounds like the band Chicago (must be the trumpet). So anyway, if this is some attempt at reconciliation then on behalf of Illinois, I accept your apology for being our nerdy neighbor to the north-Joey Germ

BIG COLLAPSE
Prototype (Militia Group)
www.themilitiagroup.com
I don't know, I've gotta listen to bands like this carefully 'cause for every good thing I like about this band and this CD, I can find something that I feel the opposite about. Big Collapse is pretty much a straight ahead rock band. Nothing wrong with that, but they dip back to their hardcore and emo roots enough times that is throws the whole thing for me. They'd be better off just going for a more mainstream solid rock sound, in my opinion-Irresistible Frank

THE BLACK KEYS
The Moan (Alive)
www.alive-totalenergy.com
The Black Keys has so incorporated the Delta juke joint hard liquor blues sound that the duo of Patrick Carney (percussion) and Dan Auerbach (guitar/vocals) sounds out with deep rooted authenticity on each track of this four song CD EP. The primitive instrumentation and raw blues sound is gritty and substantial. Auerbach does not feel it necessary to growl like Jon Spencer, but instead lets flow melodically, if disjointedly, and the vocals are soulful, if rugged, as in "Heavy Soul." Another standout track on the album is when the pair takes Iggy Pop's "No Fun" for a Mississippi drift down to where the kudzu grows-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

BLACK PRINT
Movement (Quincy Shanks)
www.quincyshanks.com
Five songs of angst ridden, melodic hardcore from Black Print, who for all intents and purposes, play angst ridden, melodic hardcore. And they do it pretty convincingly... and pretty well. And you're reading that in black print so it must be true-Whoratio Alger

THE BLED
Pass the Flask (Fiddler)
www.fiddlerrecords.com
The Bled is a metal band from the desert and Pass the Flask is their CD. The cover art is pretty weird and arty (dumb?). That aside, the music is pretty heavy, the lyrics appropriately abstract, the mood: intense, somber. I do believe that a few Lamb of God riffs have been appropriated. Nicely done. Not bad for Tucson. I kid Tucson. I love Tucson. I've never been to Tucson. I must never go to Tuscon-Dinky Dellabella

THE BOBBYTEENS
Cruisin' for a Bruisin' (Estrus)
www.estrus.com
The basic punk rock of The Bobbyteens draws much from The Ramones and New York Dolls. The brazen ladies of the band seem to be of the kiss-and-tell variety. The group dispenses with foreplay and launches right into a tale of the bathroom wall ("Jenny") as well as the total lack of hidden meaning in "Hot, Sweet 'n' Sticky." One of the high points on the album is the cover of "He's So Dull" done originally by the Prince spin-off female trio Vanity 6. While the brassy punk attitude of The Bobbyteens does not remind one of Vanity 6's pop/new wave blend, both bands feature three women waving the flag of wild, decadent, and trashy entertainment for your listening and fantasizing pleasure-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

BONNIE "PRINCE" BILLY
Sings Greatest Palace Music (Drag City)
www.dragcity.com
Bonnie Prince Billy indeed sings the greatest Palace music. Greatest Palace music as determined by fans, and the musicians appearing on the record, some of whom are Nashville session players. A good song is a good song whether it's done on a single acoustic guitar or rounded out with pedal steel, fiddle, or mandolin. That holds true with Palace music. Same sad, beautiful music, man (sniff, sniff). Perfect Saturday morning coffee drinking music. Which is ironic 'cause that's what I'm doing right now-Snappy Jim

BOSS MARTIANS
The Set-Up (MuSick Recordings)
www.musickrecords.com
This is a melodic indie rock album that strays into Elvis Costello-like territory on "Walk Away" and "He'll Be Around". So, this is pretty accessible stuff. This may be garage punk, but the garage has a new automatic door, is heated and freshly painted with everything in ship-shape order. This group has left its surf rock roots behind for something like polished Joe Jackson. Witness the steppin' out on "Oh, Angela"-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

BOXCAR SATAN
Upstanding And Indigent (Dog Fingers Recordings)
www.dogfingers.com
Boxcar Satan takes so much from Captain Beefheart one almost has to look past that to realize how good the group is. Vocalist Sanford Allen is a real Beefheart soundalike and he also plays guitar in the intricate, angular style of The Magic Band's Jeff Cotton. However, Boxcar Satan is heavier and darker than the Captain, coming from the post-goth direction of bands like Scratch Acid and early Birthday Party. The content of such damaged characters as a bandit queen ("Shoot Down the Sun") and an alcoholic that trades drink for the Lord ("Drunk on the Blood of the Lamb") owes much to Tom Waits, I would say. Boxcar Satan certainly has all the right references and mixes up the elements right for manic, imaginative, damaged blues. Much press references cite a Southern influence here, but I find that valid only when considering the gonzo early punk tradition of Texas such as Roky Erickson, Big Boys and early Butthole Surfers. The band goes from those roots to the artists already mentioned to approach near to the territory of The Jesus Lizard. Few bands run such an excellent spectrum and shine so well in its multi-hued glow-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

BRAINERD
There's No Eye In Pussy (Crustacean)
www.crustaceanrecords.com
This sounds like what you would get if you captured Rob Zombie, fattened him up with bacon, shipped him in a wooden crate to wherever-the-fuck Wisconsin and let him loose into the wilderness to form a band with whatever jamokes he could round up and ply with whiskey. Throw in a dash of seventies rock and maybe a whack from the funk stick and I guarantee you will see the eye in puss eye-Sasquatch Jim

BREAKING THE SILENCE
Near Life Experience (Hopeless)
www.hopelessrecords.com
One of the perks of being a record reviewer (an unpaid record reviewer I might add) is that I get to witness musical trends as they come and go. Whether it's alternative, grunge, pop, ska, indie, emo, or this mixation (not a word) and meldation (not a word) of hardcore and the emo music--screamo, some call it--I see and hear it all. Well, the screamo shoe fits snugly with this Chicago band and their record Near Life Experience. Not bad for what it is, but it's already kind of worn out (or is that well worn?). The former can be annoying and yet the later can be comforting. Interesting-Jayne Wayne

THE BREAKUP SOCIETY
James at Thirty-Five (Get Hip)
www.gethip.com
Don't know who the kid is on the cover but somebody whacked him good with the goofy stick. Anyway, the singer sounds like a dead ringer for Mike Wing (Vambo Marble Eye, Team Satan, Leghorn, Booker Noe, etc.). I'm not gonna hold that against him though. This is a collection of sixteen songs of rock, pop and roll about love, girls, love and shit. I still don't agree with the cover art but that's just me-Jayne Wayne

THE COLLISIONS
Talk is the New Action (Windjam)
www.windjam.com
Along with "Gasoline Can" and "Amateur," one standout track on this post-garage indie rock album is "Live by Fire, Die by Fire." That title reminds me of the Bukowski book Burning in Water, Drowning in Flame. That leads me to fellow Bukowski fan Adam Grossman who used that title for the title of a Skrew album. This album from The Collisions remind me at times of Grossman's earlier post-Texas punk band Angkor Wat. Angkor Wat was doing industrial music with a rock combo, and it is the focus on heavy, persistent rhythms that is making that connection for me. However, there is also a wild, unfettered, shrieking flair for the dramatic that really makes this disc singular and worth listening to repeatedly. There is also something about a held back laugh in the extreme subject matter that suggests gallows humor and may be due to the fact that singer/songwriter/ guitarist Bo Barringer was a one time gravedigger. All of this comes to a climax in the trio's fiery rendition of Robert Johnson's "Me & The Devil Blues"-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

THE CRACK PIPES
Snakes in My Veins (Emperor Jones)
www.emperorjones.com
This Texas band has a rough garage punk blues in-spired sound that bounces along on organ. Some occasional horns lend a damaged Stax air to the rugged retro rock. By giving its garage noise a blues lining the band ends up with a sound like Ike Turner meets Blue Cheer, or James Brown producing a Mudhoney release.-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

DECIBATORS
Four Songs (no label)
www.decibators.com
Four rockin' tunes from Chicago's one and only purveyors of whiskey and beer soaked big rock riffs, Thee Decibators. This EP features the spastic-tacular, "Factory Floor," as well as a new version of "Burning Under the Sun," plus two more new and previously unreleased nuggets. Good old fashioned drinkin' rock and rollover-Private Chomps

DEERHOOF
Milk Man (Kill Rock Stars)
www.killrockstars.com
Deerhoof excels at a balance of memorable melody and ear-catching experimentation. Part of the charm of the post-rock ensemble's sound is the child-like, high-pitched falsetto vocals of vocalist/bassist Satomi Matsuzaki. Her lullaby delivery over the angular guitar sounds and electro-beats completes the picture. The amalgamation of cutesy pop and edgy crunchiness has been tried before, but few have or will reach the fine heights of this weird and wonderful ensemble. The arrangements are dramatic and open, like a chamber work, while the Japanese schoolgirl vocals fill in the spaces with islands of sweet sound for a well rounded, varied album-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

THE DEXATEENS
The Dexateens (Estrus)
www.estrus.com
I took a bunch of dexateens one night at a party, and dude, I was soooo wasted, man. But that's beside the point (and rather silly, actually). The Dexateens are from Tuscaloosa, which I do believe is Alabamy. The D-Teens play a bluesy, southern rock, that is both high energy and laid-back at the same time. The vocalist sounds like Mike Wing (Vambo Marble Eye, Team Satan, Leghorn, Booker Noe, etc.) but I won't hold that against them-Jayne Wayne

THE DICK PANTHERS
Would Like to Congratulate You (Hollow Bunny)
www.hollowbunny.com
This CDR arrived in a plastic baggy with little or no further information on what exactly a Dick Panther is. After listening to their CD, I am no closer to unraveling that sweet mystery. I will say that it is some bizarre, humorous, twisted home recorded music. They appear to be from Jamaica Plain, Mass. Possibly a drum machine or some computerized drum program, keyboards. Possibly the work of a lone Dick Panther, could even be someone's name. If that's the case, I congratulate Mr. Panthers on his strange accomplish-ments-P.C. Jones

D.O.A.
War and Peace (Sudden Death)
www.suddendeath.com
Subtitled 25th Anniversary Anthology, this collection includes recordings from 1978 (Disco Sucks 7") to 2001 (Win The Battle). This seminal, incredibly influential Canadian hardcore band was instrumental in laying out the hardcore formula for all of North America to follow. Listening to tracks such as "World War 3", "War" and "Death to the Multinationals" show that frontman Joey Keithley has been remarkably consistent in keeping his band on message. Decrying war and a new world order with great punk rock, activism and angst aside, and even putting aside that anti disco anthem, Keithley has always had a penchant for a pronounced and heavily accented rhythm which is probably one reason why his music has succeeded so well to reach over 500,000 total record sales-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

DUVALL
Volume & Density (Asian Man)
www.asianmanrecords.com
For those of you who don't know (I didn't) Duvall is the return of Josh and Eli Caterer of 90s Smoking Popes fame. Josh formed Duvall after his spiritual rebirth as a devout Christian. I must admit I've always considered The Popes to be an acquired taste (one that I myself never acquired) but I like Duvall's simple, steady, distorted guitar hooks and Josh's crooning. As South Park has taught us you can pretty much take any love song and sing it about God or Jesus or whoever. So if you were/are a Smoking Popes fan and that's you're only hang-up, get over it... and praise Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, Amen-P.C. Jones

ECHO-STATIC
Empty Spaces (Crustacean)
www.crustaceanrecords.com
From the Dairyland capitol of Madison, Wisconsin, Echostatic deliver a late eighties indie rock sound on this eight song CD. Sonic Youth is an obvious influence and Empty Spaces even features a cover of SY's "Schizophrenia" which manages to capture the dual guitar frenzy created by Thurston and Lee with admirable results. The other original tracks, while maybe not as dynamic as the venerated masters, seek to recreate the textural soundscape of that aforementioned group and era of guitar rock pop noise-Jayne Wayne Ê

Joey Germ's
ONE WORD RECORD REVIEWS

Hey, I'm a minimalist, why mince words when saying petty, vindictive things, or nice ass-kissey things about an artist and their work? One word can often sum up our feelings about someone or something whether we like or no like. It worked for our hairy, cave-dwelling ancestors didn't it? Sure it did. Ê

THE DT'S
Hard Fixed (Estrus)
Shaking.

JERRY FELS
I've Made My Bed and Now I'm Lying in It (NFR)
Sleepy.

THE HURT PROCESS
Drive By Monologue (Victory)
Hurtful.

THE FALLOUTS
Summertime (Estrus)
Hot!

LOVE STORY IN BLOOD RED
Love Story in Blood Red (Backward Masking)
Lovely.

SPLITHABIT
Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is (Double Zero)
Broke.

VARIOUS
Bad Scene, Everyone's Fault; Jawbreaker Tribute (Dying Wish)
Honorific!

VISION
Detonate (Chunksaah)
Explosive.

VOLCANO VULTURE
Wave of Fur (Bad Bunny)
Furry.

EVENINGS
Other Victorians (Lookout!)
www.lookoutrecords.com
Unlike anything heard on Lookout! before is right. Forget the p-rock for a moment (or an evening) and you'll find Other Victorians is a much more progressive enterprise than any Screeching Weasel EP you're likely to encounter anytime soon. More in the vein of Radiohead than the Mr. T Experience. I don't know what other Victorians think about this record but this Victorian thinks this ain't a bad piece of atmospheric, post-pre-modern-Post-Raisin-Bran rock and I'm digging it-Donkey Man

THE FORCES OF EVIL
Friend or Foe? (Jive)
www.jiverecords.com
You didn't think that just because ska has fallen out of favor with the kids that ska would just go away, did you? Seriously, you didn't really think that, did you? You did? You jerk-off! The Forces of Evil are back with the ska, y'all, and now that every other band isn't trying to get over on the ska tip, I kinda like it, so you had better put me in the Friend category, FOE, 'cause you don't want me as a foe. Believe that!-Dick Cheney

GOLDSTARS
Gotta Get Out (Pravda)
www.pravdamusic.com
Formed by Skipper and Goodtime of New Duncan Imperials fame, and including ex-Krinkle, Sal, on bass and guitarist Dag Juhlin of Poi Dog Pondering and the Slugs, the Goldstars are here to kick your ass back a decade or two but more possibly three. Back to the electric organ grinding garage rock of the 60s. Gotta get retro-fitted. -T. Bone

GREENDAY
1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours (Lookout!)
www.lookoutrecords.com
Greenday didn't just drop from the sky the year punk broke. Nope, they actually put in their time in the Berkeley punk scene and released a few LPs and seven inch EPs for Lookout! records. This is a repackaged re-release of their first album, two seven inches and a compilation track. Green Day didn't invent the genre, but after years and years of listening to countless imitators, it's good to hear it done so well. As Yoda might say, a new found respect for Green Day I have. (Sorry to get all Star Wars geeky on ya)-D. Rumsfeld

THE GROODIES
The Groodies (Red Line)
www.redlinedistribution.com
Don't know what a Groodie is but this is some good, crunchy, tight hardcore. The live and raw sounding recording and the reverb on the vocals make them sound like the Adolescents' female counterparts. SoCal Hardcore from the Windy City. I love it-Joey Germ

HAPPY
Sincerely Without Wax (doubleplusgood)
www.doubleplusgoodrecords.com
Happy was formed by ex-H. Chinaski guitarist/singer Andrew Johnson, and if I remember that band correctly, continues in that same vein of controlled spasmic rock that falls somewhere close to punk, math rock, and emo without ever falling close enough to be captured by that comparison. From Oshkosh, b'gosh. -Irresistible Frank

HAROLD WASHING MACHINE
Self-titled (no label)
www.haroldwashingmachine.com
They took their name from one of our favorite public servants and one of our favorite home appliances, and I suspect that's not just tobacco in those cigarettes they're smoking. HWM wisely avoids slavish genre exercises by tastefully skimming the surfaces and tapping the rich veins of AC/DC-ish classic riffing and Touch & Go stop-start berzerko-rock and imbuing them with a self-confident, un-fussy songwriting sense, allthewhile wringing four nifty you-have-or-maybe-you-haven't heard it all before numbers out of the still-moist dishcloth of (yes) rock and roll. I'm fully aware that I'm mixing metaphors and running on with my sentences, but this is the Reglar Wiglar and Harold Washing Machine are great enough to justify the desecration of the Queen's tongue-Ken Snow

HIDDEN TRACKS
The Sweet Sound of Excess (Disposable Pop Revolution)
www.disposablepoprevolution.com
Twelve songs of clever, catchy pop music from the artists formerly known as Grain U.S.A. If a lot of those pop punk bands could write more like these guys, a lot of those pop punk bands wouldn't suck quite as much as they do. Oh yes, I'm talking to you, Blink 182! -Joey Germ

THE JERRYS
Jerry Rigged (no label)
www.itsthejerrys.com
One of the more absurd aspects of writing reviews for this increasingly stupid magazine is the diversity of music that we receive for review. Diverse in the rock universe that is. For example, I could go from listening to a blisteringly angry hardcore/punk screamo band to this self-released pop music CD. Boom! Just like that. The Jerrys is called such, presumably, because all the songs were written and performed by Jerry Schwartz, so everyone in the band is named Jerry. Get it?! The Jerry's songs are catchy in a Beatles, 60s pop kinda way but the production is sorely lacking. The drums sound like they were recorded down the street and around the corner (and up a tree). I have to admit though, the police sirens on "911" did fool me. I thought it was the real deal. That's just the neighborhood though. I'm just sorry I ate my stash. I guess I'm not that sorry though-Muggsy McMurphy

HAIKU REVIEWS
by Gin-su

Continuing in our effort to inject our readers with a shot of culture now and then, we here at the Reglar Wiglar are proud to introduce another installment of haiku record reviews. Classy, ain't it? Ê

CATCH TWENTY-TWO
Dinosaur Sounds (Victory)

dinos on cover
and ska fueled rock pop and roll
you can't go wrong

THE DESTROYED
Outta Control (no label)

answering the call
seventies punk pals unite
to destroy again

THE DICK PANTHERS
Differently Abled (Hollow Bunny)

an absurd collage
music as commentary
or as comedy?

EE
Ramadan (Asian Man)

everyone enjoys
enticingly embracing
ephemeral ease

LIBIDO GRANDE
Wrecked (Failed Experiment)

rock music can mask
biological desires
wrecks you in the end

MARTYR A.D.
On Earth as it is in Hell (Victory)

full on metal charge
as tormenting on CD
as it is in hell

JEFF OTT
Will Work for Diapers (Sub City)

lefty folk music
sales will support a good cause
will sell for diapers Ê

JUST A FIRE
Light Up (Asian Man)
www.asianmanrecords.com
Just a fire. Not a very bright fire, not a very warm fire, and consequently, not a very good fire-Jayne Wayne

LAST VEGAS
Lick 'Em and Leave 'Em (Get Hip)
www.gethip.com
There's something vaguely (overtly?) retro about this Chicago band, which might explain why they're on Get Hip. Down and dirty rock that's not ashamed (I would hope) to tread water in the same dirty rock pool of our forefathers. Guitar solos? Yep. Long hair? For the most part. Snarly, sneering vocals? Check. Clever sexual innuendo-laced album title? Lick 'Em and Leave 'Em? That's totally nasty, I totally get it! By the way, who gave rock permission to make a comeback anyway? That's what I wanna know-Irresistible Frankfurter

LEG HOUNDS
Leg Hounds (Demolition Derby)
www.demderby.com
New York punk rock groups (New York Dolls, Dictators) and 60s trash rock (Sonics, Wailers) inspire this band, however, this Wisconsin group also has a melodic and romantic streak that allows for such ballads as "Too Late". This is a fun and rocking album that is a time capsule of what was cool and underground thirty years ago and remains vital today-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

THE LITTLE KILLERS
The Little Killers (Crypt)
www.cryptrecords.com
The Little Killers get the distinction of being Crypt's first release in over five years. Why a five year break? Dunno. The LKs play stripped down, bass-guitar- drums, dirty rock and roll. Twelve songs, twenty-seven minutes and some seconds to shake your shit and get you back to the basics (provided, of course, that you weren't already there)-Irresistible Frank

LOCAL H
Whatever Happened to PJ Soles? (Studio E)
www.studioerecords.com
I remember way, way back in the day, I chanced upon Local H playing at The Avalon in Chicago. The Avalon is now a tanning spa, but way, way back in the day it was a dark and dirty rock club with two music rooms that had bands playing simultaneously, so a lot of rock music moved through there. They would also always be out of their advertised beer special too. Even if you were there fifteen seconds after the doors opened, which never ceased to get my goat, but I digress. Local H happened to be playing that night and while this was at the height of Nirvana mania and my initial reaction was that this was nothing more than a Nirvana rip-off, the ferocity with which Scott Lucas and drummer, Joe Daniels attacked their songs was undeniable. They went on to bigger and better things and seem to have come full circle with this new record. The Nirvana influence is still there. Now with ex-Rights of the Accused drummer, Brian St. Clair on the skins, Local H still pack a punch. Smashing Pumpkins, Veruca Salt, Urge Overkill; gone, No wait, Urge Overkill: back. Local H: still here-Joey Germ

MADCAP
Under Suspicion (Victory)
www.victoryrecords.com
I was at the dentist today having a filling replaced, or refilled or some shit, so half my mouth is still numb from the Novocain, so when I take a drink from my coffee cup, coffee dribbles down the side of my mouth. It's freaking me out, man. Anyfuckingway, Madcap. What do you think of when you hear the name Madcap? Madcapped, no? Pretty decent punk rock. It's good to see that Victory ain't just pushin' metal down our throats, you know? Madcap ain't bad. Of course, I've only listened to one song so far-Jack Cracknuts

MICHAEL MCDAETH
Rusted on Through (Sophisticated Monkey)
www.mcdaeth.com
Despite the rather humorous press kits' promise of oral sex if I, the music writer, listen to this CD three times, I think I'm going to pass on that offer. I'm going to pass even though I fulfilled my part of the bargain. I did listen to this CD three times and having done such, I have only one thing to say: I want those 78 minutes of my life back!-Joey Germ

THE MEANS
The Divine right of Means (doubleplusgood)
www.doubleplusgoodrecords.com
This is the third Means CD in about as many years and the second for DPG. The Divine Right finds the Means continuing in their own tradition of heavy guitar rock and throat wrenching vocals, but with a few surprises thrown in. In fact, one or two songs even come close to balladry while still exposing the ugly side-Joey Germ

MOTHERSCRATCHER
Slumber Party (Roostercow)
www.roostercow.com
You know what? HŸsker DŸ are, like, the most overrated band of all time. I swear, the way people go on and on and on about them on THE FUCKING INTERNET, actually, I like HŸsker DŸ okay, but I don't wish they would get back together or anything. Same goes for The Replacements and I think MotherScratcher shares that sentiment, because if The Replacement ever got back together, the jig would be up. This sucks!-Soggy Sprinkles

THE MUMMIES
Death by Unga Bunga! (Estrus)
www.estrus.com
This is a collection of rarities from these costumed garage rockers taken from rare 45s. The band revels in the most primitive of arrangements and sound so that these tracks sound like unearthed go-go teenbeat singles from the 50s. These songs hum and buzz with over modulated tones and the burning stench of pharaonic wrappings bursting afire with white-hot rock. This is a fitting testament to the bandaged kings of the lo-fi garage rock revival, the costumed super heroes of the proto-punk sound-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

CHRIS MURRAY
The 4-Track Adventures of Venice Shoreline Chris (Asian Man)
www.asianmanrecords.com
This is some home-recorded rootsy ska written and performed by one-man-ska-band Chris Murray. This ain't no Reel Big Fish or Less Than Jake ska. This might, in fact, be your parent's ska. That rough sound that at first listen Moon Records thought too rough to release, is exactly what is so endearing about this 4-track adventure. This is actually a re-release from that original Moon Records issue. And it's a good thing too, as I plan on leaving this sucker right where it is (it's in my CD player)-Jayne Wayne

THE NEUROTIC SWINGERS
ArtRats (Demolition Derby)
www.demderby.com
This French punk rock band offers an old school sound on this LP. The band draws heavily on the North American punk tradition: Teenage Head, Dead Boys, and New York Dolls. Another influence is France's Dogs. "Nineteen" on this album is a cover from that band. So, this is a very hard rock influenced take on punk with heavy riffs and pronounced choruses-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

NEW BOMB TURKS
Switchblade Tongues, Butterknife Brains (Gearhead)
www.gearheadrecords.com
If you're like me, and you think that the Turks' debut album "Destroy! Oh Boy!" is one of the top five achievements in the history of human endeavor, then you'd certainly agree that this collection of singles and outtakes ranks somewhere in the top twenty. Right between constructing The Great Wall of China, and eating eighty-five hot dogs in twelve minutes-Don Cheeto

NUMBER ONE FAN
Compromises (Pat's Record Company)
www.patsrecordcompany.com
It's funny to me to see that so many bands coming out of Appleton, Wisconsin because my Grandma used to live there and it was boring as fuck-all when I used visit. Of course, this was in the late 70s/early 80s. It's good to see that the effects of my visits when I was twelve are finally being felt in that town. Anyway, Number One Fan play passionate rock music with "deeply personal" lyrics, and are sure to be huge and it's all thanks to me. You're welcome-Thee Brat

MIKE PARK
For the Love of Music (Sub City)
www.subcity.net
This is a CD of acoustic songs written and performed by Asian Man Records founder, Mike Park. Songs of love, politics and racial harmony yet not folky, not trippy, dippy, or even hippy for that matter. And not a bad break from the punk rock, either-P.C. Jones

POLYSICS
Neu (Asian Man)
asianmanrecords.com
This spastic Japanese quartet have been compared to Kraftwerk and Devo but to me they sound more like Scissor Girls were trapped with Frogger in an Asteroids machine. (How do you like that comparison, Germ, you fucking hack!) And if any of those handy comparisons haven't quite piqued the interest of your little peabrains, then trust me when I say this CD kicks ass-Irresistible Frank

RAINY DAY SAINTS
Saturday's Haze (Get Hip)
www.gethip.com
Rainy Day Saints is a one man band featuring Dave Swanson on all instruments. Some of you may be familiar with Dave from his work with GBV, Cobra Verde, Death of Samantha (the list goes on). Saturday's Haze is a collection of a dozen psychedelic pop rock tunes that actually sit quite well with a Saturday haze, or I imagine it would since it is Thursday afternoon now. It is quite hazy today, however-Grover Cleveland

Dunc the Punk

In the interest of keeping things interesting, we here at the Reglar Wiglar Record Review Dept. are always on the lookout for a new way to kill off a couple of reviews, and what better way to do that than to give them to a real life Brit punk rocker? So here he is, he's Dunc the Punk and he's pissed*

THE HIGHER
Star is Dead (Fiddler)
www.fiddlerrecords.com
Punk is Dead, more like. It used to be about trying to change the way people think, all to a soundtrack of dirty sweaty sex. Now it's about teenage mummy's boys dying their hair blue and playing Blink 182 songs to spoilt rich kids who are trying to shock daddy while on spring break. Dickheads.

JAMISON PARKER
Notes & Photographs (Interscope)
www.interscope.com
It's a sick and fuckin' twisted world. Jangly little indie chancers like these get signed to Interscope, while Dunc's legendary band 'Shit The Bed' are still playing to a couple of old punks and a dog in the back room of the Frog & Pissflaps.

JET LAG
Beautiful Scars (Get Hip)
www.gethip.com
Dunc reckons the title of this record is quite apt, since it contains a cover of that flute Aguilera's 'Beautiful', which has scarred Dunc for life. These Spanish fucksticks have taken an already jizz-sodden song and somehow made it soggier. Minging.

THE KITE-EATING TREE
Method: Fail, Repeat... (Cowboy v. Sailor/ Suburban Home)
www.suburbanhomerecords.com
Q: How many emo kids does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They just sit around in the dark crying about it.

LONG SINCE FORGOTTEN
Standing Room Only (RocketStar)
www.rocketstar.com
Dunc hates pop-up adds. They get in the way of the Johnny Vaughn. And now those shitcunts at Orbitz have one with a game called Dunk the Punk on it. What the fuck? Dunc never endorsed that, and will be suing the adams off of 'em just as soon as he's finished writing about shit bands with shit names and shit songs.

MR. T EXPERIENCE
Yesterday Rules (Lookout!)
www.lookoutrecords.com
Yesterday did rule, cos Dunc finally convinced his bird to take it up the wrong-un. Yesterday Dunc was also blissfully unaware that any band would even consider releasing anything as Andrew WK-sounding as "Sorry For Freaking Out On The Phone Last Night." A steaming pirate ship from start to finish.

ON THE MIGHT OF PRINCESS
Sirens (Revelation)
www.revelationrecords.com
This lot obviously want to be like And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead. They have a similarly long and ridiculous name, an equally awful album cover, with a just a smidge of the same rock fury. Sadly however, Dunc had more fun having his Jimi removed than listening to this record.

PEPPER
In with the Old (Volcom Entertainment)
www.volcoment.com
If Dunc wanted cod reggae, he'd listen to Bob Marley while eating fish 'n' chips smothered in inspector. Dunc doesn't want to listen to surfers play reggae anymore than he wants to watch reggae artists surfing. Why is that such a hard concept to grasp, Pepper?

SCARS OF TOMORROW
Rope Tied to the Trigger (Victory)
www.victoryrecords.com
Dunc would be happy to pull that rope. Shit Armani.

SELFMADEMAN
The Daylight Robbery (SmallMan)
www.smallmanrecords.com
Dunc can't get his head round screamo. Emo is whiny self-loathing, and nu-metal is vacuous macho posturing, so putting 'em together was bound to sound like a wet fart in the bathtub. And charging actual Arthur for this cobblers is daylight robbery. Dunc feels cheated and he got his copy gratis! Fair play to these particular Sri Lankas though, for realizing just how shit they really are and splitting up, saving us all from any more Frasier.

STREETLIGHT MANIFESTO
Everything Goes Numb (Victory)
www.victoryrecords.com
If god had wanted punk rock to include trumpets, he wouldn't have made 'em so fuckin' hard to play, and he wouldn't have made 'em sound so pony either. Perhaps if this band had been called Street-Fight Manifesto, and had written songs about beating up Millwall fans, Dunc might have liked 'em. But they didn't.

The Reglar Wiglar Guide To Cockney

Adam (and The Ants) = Pants
Andrew WK = Gay
Arthur (Ashe) = Cash
(Brass) Flute = Prostitute
Fraiser (Crane) = Pain
(Georgio) Armani = Sarnie, Sandwich
Inspector (Morse) = Brown Sauce
Jimi (Hendrix) = Appendix
Johnny Vaughn = Porn
Pirate Ship = Pile of Shit
Pony (and Trap) = Crap
Sri Lanka = Wanker

*The opinions of Dunc the Punk do not reflect those of the Reglar Wiglar or, quite possibly, anyone anywhere.

THE RAMBLIN' AMBASSADORS
Avanti (Mint)
www.mintrecs.com
In the spirit of Dick Dale, this is big beat guitar music with nods to surf rock, Dave Alvin and Link Wray. This instrumental trio of twang-men is formed around Huevos Rancheros guitarist Brent J. Cooper. This is recommended if you like The Ventures (witness "Hawgtied"), Ennio Morricone (witness "Theme from 'The Ramblin' Bastards") or Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

RPG
Full Time (Direct Hit)
www.rpgva.com
Mega-super-big-fuckin' riffs on RPG's debut full-length. Larger than life amps, many cubic feet of hair and an insatiable appetite for the rock. RPG may stand for rocket propelled grenade but I think it should stand for Rad Phuckin' Ggggrrrock, man!-Joey RP Germ

ROCKET FROM THE TOMBS
Rocket Redux (Smog Veil)
www.smogveil.com
The band that gave birth to Pere Ubu and Dead Boys, 70s Cleveland rockers Rocket from the Tombs here offers a reprise of a reprise. Material for this first ever studio album was taken from the collection of demos and live recordings that made up The Day the Earth Met the Rocket from the Tombs (Glitterhouse, 2000). This means we have the first studio recordings of "30 Seconds over Tokyo" and "Life Stinks." These two Peter Laughner songs were originally done by Rocket from the Tombs and only later by Pere Ubu. The group had already been together for a summer tour before it decided to record these songs, now fully rehearsed, with Richard Lloyd at his Manhattan EGB Studios. This seminal group existed for less than a year but was very important which makes this belated recording an important moment in rock history-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

ROY
Tacomatose (Initial)
www.initialrecords.com
Five songs in the indie rock tradition by some dudes who are (were?) in much heavier, darker bands (Harkonen, Botch). Anthemic blue collar rock and roll according to the press kit, but I don't necessarily get the blue collar thing, whatever that means. One of the songs has a harmonica. Maybe that's where that comes from. Anyway, while not a bad attempt at something else, not too satisfying for this listener overall-P.C. Jones

SALEM
Love it or Leave Me (Fiddler)
www.fiddlerrecords.com
The influences of The Police, The Cure, and U2 were not delivered as promised in the press sheet. What was delivered was a rather generic brand of bland rock that insulted my intelligence as someone who has, not only heard of the aforementioned bands, but who's also heard their music. Tsk, tsk-Jayne Wayne

SIMPLY SAUCER
Cyborgs Revisited (Get Back!)
Sheez, humanity's overrated ain't it? Sure, once in a great while, someone, somewhere does something that isn't, like, totally counter-to-what-we're-all-supposed-to-be-in-this-together-for, but really, when and if you get down to us doing what's good for us, we'd be better off without ourselves, right? Well, maybe. So Simply Saucer sure made a pretty good case for a brighter future as such on Cyborgs Revisited. For the unhip out there, CR is one of those records. One that you should hear, but perhaps you haven't. Yet. A record like Trout Mask Replica or the third Big Star record or Champion Do or Oar. If you've ever wished that The Dream Syndicate sounded a little more--no wait--A LOT more like The Velvet Underground, were from Canada, wrote songs celebrating the inevitable (entire human race replaced by machines (GOOD RIDDANCE, yippee!)) and rocked harder, this is the album for you!-Oliver Trask

THE SKINTONES
Rock Scene Problem (Crustacean)
www.crustaceanrecords.com
This Madison four piece keep the Killdozer tradition alive and well, utilizing the same heavy drudge rock, gravely vocals, and dark sense of humor. Entertaining on CD and I would imagine equally if not more entertaining to catch in a drunk, bleary Wisconsin bar atmosphere. Their press kit says, "they usually try to avoid one another outside of rehearsals and shows." I love it, that's the way it should be-Snappy Jim

SNAPCASE
Bright Flashes (Victory)
www.victoryrecords.com
A little treat for Snapcase fans, a CD of outtakes or "lost songs" from 2002's End Transmission album. Interesting, interesting. The covers include two Devo, ("Freedom of Choice, "Gates of Steel"), one Helmet, ("Blacktop") and a Jane's Addiction ("Mountain Song"). If you are a Snapcase devotee then you simply must possess this unusual and interesting album-Jack the Dandy

STICKS & STONES
The Strife and Times (Chunksaah)
www.chunksaah.com
This is a forty-two song, two disc remastered release chronicling the history of New Jersey's Sticks and Stones, a band that was around in the early 90s East Coast hardcore scene, which I wasn't around myself. I mean, I was around, of course I was around, but I wasn't around this, you know. Anyfuckingway, The Clash, Replacements and Television are cited as influences but I also hear a little bit of early Soul Asylum as well. It will take me awhile to get through this CD proper and will require more time than I have to get this review in but I'm thinking this one will hold up even beyond last year's tenth anniversary of the release of the bands debut, Theme Song for Nothing. That's why re-releases are so important. They introduce people to bands who have long since broken up, bands people like myself, who couldn't be everywhere in the country at the same time, have never heard of. Sticks and Stones may break my bones anyday-Condi Rice

STREET DOGS
Savin Hill (Crosscheck)
crosscheckrecords.com
Boston's Street Dogs are a working class punk rock band featuring Mike McClogan (formerly of the Dropkick Murphys) on vocals. If you've heard this kind of anthemic shout-along punk rock before then you have a pretty good idea of what the Street Dogs are all about, and if you haven't, this might not be the best place to start-Jimmy Jangle

THE SUBHUMANS
Incorrect Thoughts (C.D. Presents Ltd.)
Joey Germ told me that "Slave To My Dick" was the only thing that this band ever did, and that then they turned into D.O.A. I'm no punk historian, so I don't know about the D.O.A. part, but about the "S.T.M.D." part: wrrrong-o! Sure, they recorded that classic classic (included here) but they also made the fifty-sixth best record album ever, which sounds a lot more like the Wipers than I would have guessed. And if Germ ever wants to hear "Let's Go Down To Hollywood (& Shoot People!)", he's just going to have to beg! -Andre Salmon

SUGARCULT
Palm Trees and Power Lines (Artemis)
www.artemisrecords.com
Palm trees and power lines? Lemme guess, we're talking about fuckin' California. Well, anyway that's cool. I was in a sugar cult when I was, like, five years old. Yeah, I was down with Sugar Bear when that brother was down with sugar, but times change and you grow up, you know what I'm sayin'? So, anyway, Sugarcult is a pop rock band that writes decent, if not a bit generic, pop/rock songs. This is their second record. Their first one soundscanned 300,000 copies. They have played with The Strokes, The Hives, The Vines, Blink 182, and Good Charlotte. They made #3 on Rolling Stone's recent "Hot List." They have a "DIY attitude"-Frosty O

THE SULTANS
Ghost Ship (Swami)
swamirecords.com
John Reis puts out records more frequently than many of our readers get laid. No affront intended to the sexual prowess of our readership, but the guy's in a lot of bands. He's no Robert Pollard in the prolificacy department, but the answer to the question "What kind of man reads Reglar Wiglar?" ain't quite Ron Jeremy either. Nevertheless, the Sultans aren't the best band J.R.'s in (the Hot Snakes are) but they do tread water admirably in The Real Kids' and The Clash's end of the pool. Definitely worth a few bucks if you find it used, like I did-I.C. London

THOSE UNKNOWN
Those Unknown (TKO Records)
www.tkorecords.com
This is a reissue of Those Unknown's 1995 debut CD. In hindsight, this album proves to be a high water mark in old school punk of the mid-'90s. The group has a tough, muscular street punk sound with nods to hardcore. At its feistiest it is what an old friend of mine would have descriptively called "booth thrash". There is a real working class attitude here ("Bound for Glory, Headed for Hell") and slight English accent that makes the music oi-friendly. The original release has been expanded to fourteen by the addition of two bonus tracks. All the lyrics are provided and there are liner notes from band member Rich Owens. In today's largely apolitical neo-punk scene the incisive radicalism of those unknowns is refreshing and Rich Owens fairly calls for a revolution in his liner notes. Should a revolution come, this would be an ideal soundtrack. Punk revival that is RIYL: Sham 69, The Business, The Addicts-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

TWINHATERS
Twinhaters (Failed Experiment)
www.failedexperimentrecords.com
Elements of metal and punk rock get all mixed up together in this batch of ten tunes from Chi-Town's TwinHaters. As a twin however, I am very offended by the name-Tweedle Dee

TYRADES
Tyrades (Broken Rekids)
www.brokenrekids.com
After three EPs, Tyrades are out with a full-length CD of sputtering and spastic retro punk reaching back. This album recalls the spitting and outrageous first wave of L.A. punk, like The Weirdos and The Screamers. Intense and infectious, this is fun and cathartic music-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte VAMPLIFIER 3 song demo (no label) www.vamplifier.com Vamplifier either play blood-sucking amplified music or perform amplified seduction, I'm not sure which but this three song sampler demonstrates a knack for sophisticated songwriting that will have you thirsting (loudly) for more!-Count Von Blowenstein

VARIOUS
Blizzard Blue No. 1 (Yawn)
yawnrecords.com
A surprisingly good and diverse compilation of bands from across the country. I say surprisingly because this comp. is comprised of bands who are affiliated with zines and the zine community and who knew there was such a talented groups of zinester/musicians out there> The people at Yawn Records for one. Some highlights are the crazy ska-influenced madness of Wichita's O'Phil, Dropsonic's bluesy slide guitar rock and the Chris Frantz and Tina Weymouth produced Mad Happy. Solid, yo-J. Ashcroft

VARIOUS
Bring You to Your Knees; A Tribute to Guns & Roses (Law of Inertia)
www.lawofinertia.com
With GNR's latest opus, Chinese Democracy, in its seventh year of production and close to the fourteen million dollar mark (and destined to become an industry joke for the next fifty years), a group of up and coming LA metal bands are here to tide you over until the aforementioned would-be classic gets scrapped for good. Zombie Apocalypse, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Eighteen Visions all get in on the act, and yes they do "Welcome to the Jungle," and "Sweet Child of Mine," and "Paradise City," but you're gonna hafta find out for yourself who does what and how-Axl Pose

VARIOUS
Hello, We Are The Militia Group (The Militia Group)
www.themilitiagroup.com
Grab yourself a beer (or some soda), get a tattoo, and throw in this Militia Group comp. for some heavy emo rockers from Big Collapse, The Beautiful Mistake, Anadivine and my fave, Tora! Tora! Torrance. Most of these tracks are previously unreleased, so you know what you gotta do, soldier. NOW DO IT!-Sgt. Chomps

VARIOUS
New York City Rock 'n' Roll (Radical)
www.radicalrecords.com
DJ Stephen Blush, author of "American Hardcore: A Tribal History", compiled this compiling of twenty-two bands and he did a great job. Blush seems to be documenting a return to the post-glam punk scene of Blondie, New York Dolls and more from the Max's Kansas City and CBGB's heyday. Listening to Detox Darlings, SkŸm and Slunt, one has to agree. Interestingly, female vocalists fiercely lead most of the bands presented here-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

VARIOUS
Spiders from Venus: Indie Women Artists and Female Fronted Bands Cover David Bowie (Skipping Discs)
www.SkippingDiscs.com
The long-winded title sums up the angle here. This disc avoids the fate of most compilations of being uneven with only a few shining tracks. First, the material is, of course, excellent. The Bowie songbook is sampled from Space Oddity to Heathen. This includes such songs as "Golden Years", "Starman" and "Boys Keep Swinging". On hand to cover the Bowie material is Lunasect, Switchblade Kittens, Neil Young's sister Astrid Young and Essra Mohawk, the critically acclaimed singer/songwriter that has been making music since the 60s and was the "Uncle Meat" of the Mothers of Invention-Tom "Tearaway" Schulte

VARIOUS
Take Action! Vol 3 (Sub City)
www.subcity.net
A gigantic butt-load of rock bands on this comp. a portion of the proceeds of which benefit the National Hotline Network (1-800-SUICIDE). Small Brown Bike, Division of Laura Lee, Rise Against, This Day Forward, and, like I said, just a butt-load more. Two discs, forty-five tunes, a good cause...buy it!-Joey Germ

VICE DOLLS
Die Trying (CrossCheck)
www.crosscheckrecords.com
Hardcore from the Heartland. Singer Carrie Nance has got a pretty intense voice/delivery. I might step into the pit for the Vice Dolls, despite the fact that it's been about fifteen years since I've stepped into a pit and my spine would probably get snapped like a twig. Like a dry, brittle twig-P.C. Jones

WAY OFF THE HORSE
Das Disappointment (Crustacean)
www.crustaceanrecords.com
I wouldn't say these guys are way off the horse, they sound more like they're recently off the horse or struggling to get off the horse, or maybe they're still on that sucker. Desperate, dirty, mean. From the photos in their press re