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Book of Jobs Part 3

UNEMPLOYMENT

Yes, I took a plunge without a parachute, choosing instead to rely on good fortune and my own perceived craftiness to save me. As much as I looked forward to an extended vacation, it was too angst ridden to be enjoyed for long. I filled out a lot of job applications and emailed a shit ton of résumés. I don’t remember how many job interviews I went on. One employer who I was lucky enough to get an interview with (in a group interview with nine other prospective hires) informed us that he had received almost 500 responses to his ad. I realized my résumé is comprised of a creative writing degree and a lot of restaurant work. This did not leave me many options. I searched Craig's List every day. I was able and got a work-from-home job that I can now barely remember. It involved writing copy for a company that tried to get people to sign up for online for-profit college courses. It paid less than minimum wage, was very confusing and also sucked in addition to that. I also helped a friend demo a two flat he bought in East Garfield Park and did a stage at a restaurant in Wrigleyville.

A stage is a tryout or unpaid internship—basically a shift you work for free. It’s French. I did not go to culinary school, I just worked in a bunch of kitchens. I can follow recipes and do what I'm told. I had never done a stage previously and when asked to stage I had no idea what that meant. I learned pretty quickly. I showed up an hour before dinner service at this particular place. I walked in, met the chef, he asked me to make a peach cobbler then disappeared leaving me alone in a messy kitchen with dirty pots and pans stacked high in the sink. I was confused as to what I was supposed to do. I had no recipe memorized. I had no idea how to find any ingredient in this chaotic kitchen. I went into the dinning room looking for the chef only to find him sitting at the bar getting a neck massage from one of the servers. When I found out it would be only the two of us working in the kitchen that night, all my fight or flee senses started tingling and I booked it the hell out of there.Chris Auman

Next: Thai Lagoon


Originally published in RW#24, 2016

 

JOB LIST

Introduction
Weekly Allowance
The Paper Route
Orange Blossom Special
Drug Dealing
Stringer
The Lifeguard
Lawnmower Boy
Food Service is Your Future
Dishwasher
Law Clerk
On the Line
Phonathon
The Three Penny
Life on the Mississippi
North Side Pimp
Suffering for Art
The Ugly Bar
Fazzio's
Slingin' Veggie Hash
In a Pickle
Inside the Box
Beat Kitchen
That's Classified
Suck Co.
Lollapaloozer
Unemployment
Thai Lagoon
New Jacked City
Going Greek
Apocalypse Lao
Install Crew
Let's Do Brunch
Freelance = Freedom?
The Controller

FORGOTTEN AMERICAN MUSIC MASTERS

Whisky Dick

 

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