Reglar Wiglar Logo
 

 

 

Book of Jobs Part 1

LAWNMOWER BOY

I wasn’t allowed to mow our own lawn (I think my Mom thought that our hilly, knolly, sink-holey backyard was too dangerous). I did, however, mow a strangers’ lawn here or there. They weren’t really strangers, I mean, I wasn’t trying to shake anyone down. (“Looks like your lawn got mowed, pal, that’ll be five bucks.”) They knew I was going to mow their lawns. I just don’t remember their names.

One lawn I mowed was all the way across town. It was just a little patch of grass that probably took ten or fifteen minutes to mow. The hard part was loading and unloading the lawnmower from the trunk of the ‘78 Chevy Malibou (the car my Dad got for me and my sister to destroy). The house whose lawn I was to mow, belonged to a real estate agent who didn’t live there. It didn’t seem like anyone actually lived there yet there was no ‘For Sale’ sign on the property. At any rate, the grass had to be cut. My Dad set the deal up and the real estate agent told him that this gig, which paid five dollars, was so easy it was like walking down the street and finding five bucks on the ground. I thought a more apt analogy was, walking down the street, unloading a push mower from the trunk of a car, mowing a slightly sloping lawn (every lawn in Galena involves a hill of some degree), awkwardly reloading the mower into the trunk and then finding five bucks on the ground. But that was just my lawn mower’s perspective on the situation.Chris Auman

Lawnmower

Next: Food Service is Your Future


Originally published in RW#22, 2014

RW #22


JOB LIST

Introduction
Weekly Allowance
The Paper Route
Orange Blossom Special
Drug Dealing
Stringer
The Lifeguard
Lawnmower Boy
Food Service is Your Future
Dishwasher
Law Clerk
On the Line
Phonathon
The Three Penny
Life on the Mississippi
North Side Pimp
Suffering for Art
The Ugly Bar
Fazzio's
Slingin' Veggie Hash
In a Pickle
Inside the Box
Beat Kitchen
That's Classified
Suck Co.
Lollapaloozer
Unemployment
Thai Lagoon
New Jacked City
Going Greek
Apocalypse Lao
Install Crew
Let's Do Brunch
Freelance = Freedom?
The Controller


FEATURES

Main Page
Comics Page
Music Page
Book/Zines Page

LINKS

Blogspot
Facebook
Google+
Twitter

INFO

About
Contact
Archives

 

© 1993-2017 Reglar Wiglar Magazine