Enenen and Lil' Dirty Bastard Interviews

Mirage • Weenis • Enenen • Nerd Pipe • Insynuator • Skatastrophe! • The Vag Girls • Annie Baldwell
MotherScratcher • Lil' Dirty Bastard • Vermicious Knids • The White Strokes • The Woodrows
White Bred & Honky MC

ENENEN

Interviewed by Joey Germ

Whether you love him or hate himm think he's a genius or a loud mouth lunatic, Norbert Nelson isn't going anywhere. His white boy, bad boy antics have sold millions of records worldwide and his poplulrity sees not sign of abating any time soon. Joey Germ finds out what makes Enenen, and his alter ego, Slick Brady, tick.

RW: Enenen, nice to finally meet the man behind the music.

NNN: Yo, wassup?

RW: You're quite the controversial character in popular culture at the moment. Why is that?

NNN: 'Cause parents, politicians and the press don't know shit.

RW: Explain.

NNN: They don't know what else to write about so they focus on little shit and make it into a big pile of shit. Like the Britney Spears bullshit.

RW: Are you referring to your recent interview with Yo! Magazine where you referred to Britney Spears as a ho?

NNN: No, that's where they're wrong and you're wrong. I never called her a ho.

RW: But I have it right here in black and white. Yo! Magazine asks, "enenen, what do you think of Britney Spears?" and you answer--and I quote--"Britney Spears is a ho and you can quote me on that."

NNN: That's incorrect information.

RW: Where'd they get that then?

NNN: Slick Brady called Britney a ho, in point of fact, Slck Brady called her a skanky ho.

RW: So when you call Britney Spears a ho--

NNN: I didn't call Britney Spears a ho.

RW: Slick Brady did?

NNN: Exactly. Slick Brady was dissin' Britney, Norbert Nelson stays out of that shit.

RW: And that stuff about your motherr, where you call her a bitch and threaten to cut her up into "tiny little pieces, smaller than meices".

NNN: Slick was sayin' that shit, talkin' about how he was gonna stuff her in a trunk and shit.

RW: Was he talking about your mother or his mother.

NNN: I don't know, man. I got nuthin' to do wit' that dude. He's trippin'.

RW: Yeah, but you're Slick Brady, right?

NNN: Yeah, ain't that fucked up?

RW: You let him talk about your mother like that?

NNN: I know, I know. It's ain't right, but I can't control what Slick says.

RW: It would seem like you're just dumping off all responsibility for everything that comes our of your mouth by attributing it to a fictional character.

NNN: Basically, it seems like that, yeah.

RW: Who called Moby a fag?

NNN: Um, actually, that was me. My bad.

RW: So you think he's gay and so what if he is?

NNN: Bein' gay has nuthin' to do with bein' a fag.

RW: It doesn't?

NNN: Hell no. I don't mind gays so much, I just don't like fags. You can be gay and not be a fag, just like you don't have to be gay to be a fag. Besides Moby is more of a little bitch girl anyway.

RW: I see your logic . . . I think.

NNN: Next question.

RW: What makes Enenen tick?

NNN: My little girl. My little girl is the most important thing in my life. She's the bomb.

RW: Moby's a little girl but you don't like him?

NNN: Hey, let's stop talkin' about that bitch. He's worse than that puppet dog that was messin' with me at the music awards.

RW: Sorry. What's next for Enenen?

NNN: I got a new jam comin' out soon. Look for my new record, Enenenema out this spring. I really flush it out of my system on this one. It's my best record since The Colonic. I'm out.

LIL' DIRTY BASTARD

Interviewed by Soggy Sprinkes

Lil' Dirty Bastard is the latest sensation in the topsy-turvy world of pre-adolescent hip hop. With three platinum albums, numerous music and video awards, and a sold-out tour (which he co-headlined with Honky MC Jr. to his credit), Lil' Dirty Bastard is ready to take it to the next level. We visited him in his gold-plated crib to find out about his movie career, new fashion line and what he thinks aboout biters:

RW: You just dropped your latest album, Chillin' in the Crib, to much critical acclaim, and your latest single, "This Lil' Bastard" was the song of the summer. Look Whose Rappin', a film you wrote, directed, and starred in, has grossed $275 million, and is about to be released in twenty foregin countries. You won the Palm d'Or at Cannes, and even money says you'll win at least a few Oscars. That's in addition to all your Grammys and awards from MTV, BET, and the PTA. Whats' the secret to your success?

LDB: Goo goo, ga ga.

RW: Interesting. You're quite a trendsetter and you recently introduced your own clothing line, which is called Mack Baby. What can you tell us about that?

LDB: Bbbbbbllllle. Ahhh. Heeeheee.

RW: Ha! Yeah, the silk jammies are pretty dope. Now, a lot of people have copied your style. How does it make you feel, when you're out for a stroll, to see so many other kids rockin the pacifiers and the Gucci?

LDB: Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!

RW: President Bush is a big fan of your music. He says that your song, "Peek-A-Boo-Ya" is his favorite. He recently invited you to perform it at the White House, but you declined the invitation. Why?

LDB: (poops in pants)

RW: Uh oh! I guess we should wind this up so you can get changed. Anything you'd like to add?

LDB: Gggul, goo goo ga vvvvvv, mmmmmm. Hmmmm, gagagagagaga na. Eeeh fafa goo. Goo.

RW: All right. Say, are you going to finish your mashed bananas?

LDB: (falls asleep)

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