Reglar Wiglar
Picking the easy targets since 1993

Reglar Wiglar #11

TEN THINGS YOU CAN DO IN PUBLIC GUARANTEED TO MAKE ME HATE YOU

By BASTIGE VON CURR


Published in RW#11, 1998


Hey folks. The following is a tried and true list of things you can do in public that are guaranteed to earn you the hatred and contempt of your fellow citizens, or at the very least, me. Omitted is the most obvious reason for me to hate you when you go out in public, and that is: you going out in public. Yeesh!


1) Talk on a cell phone while driving a car.

2) Talk on a cell phone while standing in line at the bank.

3) Talk on a cell phone while standing in line at the post office.

4) Talk on a cell phone while standing in line at the grocery store.

5) Talk on a cell phone.

6) Pay with a check

7) Lose patience after waiting in any public line for longer than two minutes, sighing loudly and acting incredibly agitated while making eye contact with fellow line-standers, shaking your head as if to say, "Can you believe we have to wait in line?"

8) While wearing headphones on the bus or train, rap or sing loudly so that everyone may admire your rapping/singing skills.

9) Drive a car through busy city streets as if the world is ending and you are racing home to embrace you family for the very last time.

10) Grossly violate the "ten items or less" rule at the express lane of your local grocery store.


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